God doesn’t use infertility to teach us a lesson:

In my previous post I said it’s wrong to say that “we had to go through this so that God could teach me a lesson” or “so that I could grow”, and I want to explain why I said so.  It’s a difficult concept to grasp because I have believed this for so long so I’m going to explain it like Cur.ry Bla.ke explains it in his course:  “The Di.vine Hea.ling Tech.nician”.

John 14:26 (NIV):  “²⁶ But the Counsellor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. “

“According to the above verse The Holy Spirit teaches us all things, so if we say that God had to teach us something from an illness; it means that we are saying that the Holy Spirit is the illness, or that the Holy Spirit is a spirit of infirmity.

1 John 2:27 (NIV):  “²⁷As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit— just as it has taught you, remain in him.”

So everything you learn concerning the Spirit of God or the things of God, you learn by the Spirit of God.  Now the Spirit of God may work through a person.  Everything we have learnt of God was by the Spirit of God, The Holy Spirit is our teacher, therefore if you say:  “God is using this thing to teach me”, you have relegated the Holy Spirit to the level of that disease.  Understand how close you are to blasphemy, because in principle that is exactly what the Pharisees did to Jesus:

John 3:1-3 (NIV):  “Jesus Teaches Nicodemus ¹Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council.  ² He came to Jesus at night and said, Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no-one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him.  ³In reply Jesus declared, I tell you the truth, no-one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.” 

Note how Nicodemus says:  “we (the Pharisees) know you are a teacher who has come from God.” He said that privately to Jesus, because he came at night.  What were the Pharisees saying publicly?  They were saying that Jesus casts out devils by Beelzebub:

Matthew 12:22-37 (NIV):  “Jesus and Beelzebub ²² Then they brought him a demon-possessed man who was blind and mute, and Jesus healed him, so that he could both talk and see.  ²³ All the people were astonished and said, Could this be the Son of David?  ²⁴But when the Pharisees heard this, they said, It is only by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons.  ²⁵ Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.  ²⁶ If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then can his kingdom stand?  ²⁷ And if I drive out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your people drive them out? So then, they will be your judges.  ²⁸But if I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.  ²⁹ Or again, how can anyone enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can rob his house.  ³⁰ He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.  ³¹ And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.  ³² Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.  ³³ Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognised by its fruit.  ³⁴ You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  ³⁵ The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  ³⁶ But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  ³⁷ For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Basically what Jesus said was: your sin remains, because you know better, and yet you keep saying this to keep your position.  What were they doing?  They were attributing to the devil the works of God.  What are you doing when you’re saying that God is using sickness to teach you something?  You are attributing to God the works of the devil.  Isn’t that in principle the same thing, just in reverse?

Don’t try to use your sickness or disease to cover by putting the blame on God.  We as Christians like to think bad things happen for our benefit, to make us better, but it does not make you better, all it does is show what’s in you.  When you are pressed, what’s in you is what’s going to come out.  But people say:  “Well, God had to get me flat on my back with that heart attack, before I would look to Him and slow down.”  If that’s true then anybody that goes to hell is God’s fault because He didn’t get them flat on their back…  God is no respecter of persons.  If He did it for one, He better do it for another, or else He is no respecter of persons.  

Acts 10:34-35 (KJV):  “³⁴Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:  ³⁵But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.”

Every one of these statements is used to take the responsibility off ourselves and put the blame on God.  Every doctrine of devils, every sacred cow and tradition goes back to that basic thing – take the responsibility off me and blame God!

Stop doing that, stand up, quit acting like a victim and start becoming the victor and get on God’s side and start agreeing with Him and know that He has set this thing up for you to win!  You do not bring glory to God by losing at any time!  You bring glory to God by how you act through hardship, good times, sickness and disease, but that does not mean it was God’s will for you to be sick!  That is you turning a bad situation into a good thing.  Some people might say:  “that’s God turning a bad situation into a good thing”.  No!  That’s you doing that!  God is grateful for the fact that you will give Him glory no matter what, but regardless don’t put the blame on God for your lack of participating in the benefits, because he told us:

Psalm 103:2-18 (NIV):  “² Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits— ³ who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, ⁴ who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, ⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.  ⁶The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.  ⁷He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:  ⁸The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.  ⁹ He will not always accuse, nor will he harbour his anger for ever; ¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  ¹¹For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; ¹² as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  ¹³As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; ¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.  ¹⁵As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; ¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.  ¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— ¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.”

That is God’s benefits!  Don’t put to God the works of the devil!”

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I am mad!

For those of you who are wondering how I am; I am not sad anymore, I am mad!   Wednesday night while I was sleeping, I suddenly woke up and remembered an article I read in the Joy magazine of July 2010 a while ago.  It had to deal with healing and I thought I would look it up in the morning.  The heading of the article is:  “the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy” John 10:10a.  Immediately I was mad.  Why, because I realized that the devil, who is the thief, is trying to kill Shumi and that he killed our babies and that he has stolen a lot from us over the years.  Suddenly I had this feeling of being fed up – fed up with everything and that I don’t want to him to steal, kill or destroy anything from us again…

So in the article it says that this father who lost his son to cancer was given a copy of “The Di.vine Hea.ling Tech.nician” a Jo.hn G La.ke Minis.tries training manual, and I goog.led it.  The first thing I opened up was a free course about “The Di.vine Hea.ling Tech.nician”, and that’s what I’ve been up to since then, listening to the teaching of Cur.ry Bla.ke about healing, but it also covers a lot of other stuff.  Please do yourselves a favour and make some time to listen to it.  Here is the link.  Please, please listen to it, it will change your life!

I must apologize to you all, I only realized after listening to this teaching that I’ve believed a lot of lies and I’ve shared some of those lies to you, as if they were fact.  That’s why some of my posts have been removed, and there is probably some more that will be removed.  The last thing I wanted to be was to be a false prophet, but some lies have come through and I need to rectify that!  Some posts will be edited and put back, but I think some need to be deleted permanently.

If you are wondering what I’m talking about, I’ll give you some examples:  I have always believed the lie that it has not been God’s will for me to have children up to now.  Even though I’ve read that it’s a lie in Jackie Mize’s book “supernatural childbirth”, I still believed there must be some plan or purpose of why we don’t have any children yet, and why I had to have my miscarriage.  That’s not true!   Sickness is never a punishment from God, and as the World Health Organisation has classified infertility as an illness I include that in the term sickness!  Those were the excuses I made because it was the only explanation that made sense to me!   It was a coping mechanism, and I know a lot of other people are also in the same situation, and I don’t want them to be deceived anymore either.

God does not want us to suffer, He does not want us to be infertile, He does not want disease and illness for us, not just the Christians, but for every single human being on earth!  Sickness and disease comes from only one source and that is from the devil.  It is not there to teach us anything or to make us better people, it has one purpose and that is to destroy you…  God has nothing to do with it!  We are living in ignorance about our rights as children of God and because of that ignorance we do not live according to the promises made in the Bible.

Promises like:  Genesis 1:28 (NIV): “…Be fruitful and increase in number…”

Psalm 113:9 (NIV): “⁹ He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.”

1 Peter 2:24 (NIV): “²⁴ He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” (Note: have been healed – It happened 2000 years ago – you are already healed, you must just not let the devil have any hold on you anymore)

Galatians 3:13 (NIV): “¹³ Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.”

James 4:7 (NIV): “⁷Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Mark 11: 23-24 (NIV): “²³ I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.    ²⁴ Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV): “⁷ For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

Isaiah 54:17 (NIV): “¹⁷ no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me, declares the LORD.”

We have this image of Jesus as someone that is always peaceful and meek, but that is completely the wrong image.  He is at war against the enemy and his forces, and we should be at war too.  We cannot lie down and accept any attack against us; we must stand up for ourselves and fight back!  We cannot allow any more attacks against us and we must go out and fight the battle on behalf of Jesus Christ!  That’s why it’s good to be mad, then you are in a better frame of mind to fight the battle!  Who is with me?  Who is also fed up and mad and willing to join the battle?

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Shumi:

The vet found a tumour, it is very deep and its impossible to operate on. Radiation will also not help, because it is so deep. There is nothing he can do for Shumi. He gives him a few months at the most depending on how fast the tumour grows…

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ICLW:

Hello to all and welcome to my blog! I’m a 39 year old who is still trying to have her first baby. It’s been a long and hard road so far, it’s almost 11 years now since we started trying. We had our first BFP ever a few months ago, but unfortunately lost our baby due to trisomy 13 or Patau Syndrome just over 5 weeks ago. So now we have to try IVF again.

We have some other worries at the moment as well – my mom had uterine cancer recently, and it might have spread to her para aortic lymph nodes, but we don’t know for sure until she’s had a PET scan, which will happen hopefully this week. Her oncologist said at first that it was definitely cancer and that she had to go for another course of radiation and chemotherapy, but she went for a second opinion after some conflicting test results and it might not be cancer according to the other doctor. Apparently the PET scan will pick up any cancer in her lymph nodes, but it is quite expensive so they are waiting for authorisation from the medical aid…

The other worry is my “furbaby” Shumi, our 5 year old boxer, who is currently at the vet for x-rays of his nose, as they suspect he might have a tumour – we are hoping and praying that it’s not the case, because they say it’s a very nasty cancer…

I’m sorry this has not been a very upbeat introduction, but if you would like some more info you can always click on the ICLW tag on the right….

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When will all the bad news stop?

I took Shumi to the vet again this morning, because his nose is blocked.  He was on antibiotics and it did clear his snot nose up, but not for long.  He’s had the snot nose twice now this winter and a bloody nose in April. All these symptoms combined do not amount to good news.  Our vet suspects a tumour and referred me to another vet for x-rays and maybe an endoscope.  It could be something like polyps, or some grass seeds stuck up his nose, but he doubts it.  It is apparently very common for Boxers to get these tumours.  If it’s a small tumour they might attempt to get it out, and they will send it away for testing, but the prognosis is usually not good.  All these possible treatments will off course cost us thousands of Rands…

I have made an appointment for the x-ray tomorrow and I’m praying for a miracle here – that our vet is wrong and that it’s nothing serious! Unfortunately our vet was on holiday recently and I took Shumi to another vet and that vet spoke of the same thing as a possibility…

I am so upset! I don’t know how much more bad news I can take.  Shumi is my baby.  The only one I have and I don’t know how I’ll cope if I have to lose him too…

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It’s in His hands:

I’ve been thinking about something ever since I’ve been to see my FS on Wednesday. I’ve mentioned before that my FS is not a Christian, or rather let me put it this way: There are two doctors at the clinic I go to. When I talk about my FS it can be either of them. I see them both, depending on who is available. I know the one doctor is not a Christian, because he is of a different religion. What the all the other’s (doctor and staff) religious beliefs are I don’t know…

Anyway – the point I’m trying to make is that both the doctors as well as the genetic specialist have mentioned something that made me think. Not all the comments were made on Wednesday but most were. All of them have told me that after the embryos are transferred it is out of their hands and in God’s hands. Not in those words exactly, the one doctor talks about “it’s up to the Man upstairs”, the other doctor said we “have to pray that we get a healthy baby out of our embryos” and the genetic specialist (she is also one of the embryologists) said that she has seen pregnancies from “vrot” (very bad) looking embryo’s and BFN’s from perfect looking embryos. She told of one patient they had who was already over forty years old and she had two OK looking embryos and two “vrot” embryos and she fell pregnant and had quads! All four of the quads were healthy and normal at birth! (They did not do PGD in this case) She said they just cannot tell which embryos will make healthy babies and which won’t and it’s ultimately in someone else’s hands (and she pointed skywards)… And that’s not the only instance – I even read that another well know doctor on the internet admitted that they can do everything up to a point, but the ultimate result is still in God’s hands.

I look at the different stories that I read about over the internet and I can see that sometimes things are absolutely perfect and there is still no pregnancy or baby (like some of my own cycles), and in other instances there are so many problems and it results against all odds into a healthy pregnancy and baby.

All the stories I read in the Bible of Sarah, and Rebekah, Rachel, Leah, Hannah, Elizabeth you name them – they got their babies when God decided it was time and not one day earlier… Even if meant that they had their babies at impossibly high ages. I keep on thinking that I can do everything possible and the doctors can do everything medically possible and we can still get a BFN or another miscarriage…The final result is out of our hands, and completely in God’s hands. I then thought of an e-mail I received recently and I remembered what His hands looked like – nail scarred hands…

The Hands that made the world and gave the sun and moon their light
are the tiny Hands of a baby born one cold December night…
The Hands that stilled the wind and tamed the fury of the sea
are the calloused Hands of a carpenter who lived in poverty…
The Hands that held the power to break the binding chains of sin
are the gentle Hands that washed the feet of tired and dusty men…
The Hands that cleansed the leper, healed the blind and raised the dead
are the praying Hands of one who cried, “Not My will, but Thine instead…”
The Hands that shaped the universe and flung the stars in space
are the nail-pierced Hands of a dying man who suffered in our place…
The Hands of our Creator, Lord and King of Heaven above,
are the Savior’s Hands, forever reaching out to us with love.
–B. J. Hoff

Isn’t this poem absolutely beautiful?

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My follow up appointment:

The day of our appointment has finally arrived exactly one month after my evacuation D & C.   The FS said that our little baby had Trisomy 13 or Patau syndrome and that is where the foetus had an additional third chromosome 13 and that is caused by nondisjunction of chromosomes during myosis.  In layman’s terms what that means is that the chromosomes did not split properly during myosis (which occurs during maturation of the egg) and that there was an extra chromosome on the pair numbered 13.  The three common occurrences are at the genes numbered 13, 18 and 21 and of those, number 21 is the one where Down’s syndrome originates from and that is also the only one where the foetus is most likely to survive to birth.  It is very rare for a baby with trisomy 13 to survive until birth and should it survive it would be severely handicapped mentally and physically and they do not survive for longer than a year after birth. 

We discussed a plan of action for a new IVF cycle and we can start with one (Femara & Gonal F like IVF # 3) when AF arrives if we want, or we have the option to do a long protocol and do a month of birth control first and the IVF in the cycle after that.  After some discussion of the pros and cons we have decided to do the long protocol with Lucrin and Fostimon (Like IVF # 2).   I have a few reasons for that – the most important being that the cycle we did that way produced better looking embryos on day 3.  The other reasons were that my FS feels that the short protocol is better for poor responders and I’ve never been a poor responder, I’ve read that Femara compromises quality by influencing the myosis process (my FS does not agree but I don’t want to take the chance) and I’ve read that the down regulation of LH with birth control and Lucrin can also help with quality (again my FS is not convinced of that).  We will be doing a lower dose of Fostimon than last time – I was on 225 units but now I will go on 150 units, and hopefully it won’t give me a polyp.  Last time it was reduced halfway through stims to 150 units anyway so I think it will be sufficient.

I don’t have a clue where I am in my cycle and the doctor did a scan – my uterus looks good, no polyp present and it looked like I did ovulate from my one ovary, so the FS said AF can come anytime from now up to 2 weeks from now – I guess I just have to wait patiently…

We discussed PGD – it’s an option that we are seriously considering but the doctor recommended that we only do it if we have at least 3-4 8-cell embryos on day 3.  We spoke to the lady that does the PGD and she is a qualified genetic specialist.  She gave us a lot of information on it, and we found out that if we would have done PGD the trisomy 13 would most probably have been detected.  There is a chance however that the test can come back inconclusive or that the embryo can be damaged.  The other problem is that it will cost an additional R10000 on top of the cost of the IVF, for which we didn’t get a quote on today.  So we will have to see if the budget allows for it.  We have at least 6-8 weeks to decide on it anyway, so no rush…

So the first thing is for AF to arrive, of which there is still no sign of by the way, and then I must start the birth control pills.  DH thinks it’s totally weird for me to go on them when I want to get pregnant, but its better that way as it will also help to regulate my cycle which can still be disrupted from the miscarriage after AF has come on.   It also means IVF will be done in the 3^rd cycle after our miscarriage and that’s also a bit safer…

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Elderly parents in the Bible:

If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed that my age is starting to worry me a bit, although I try to keep Sarah’s story in mind when my faith falters.  So it’s logical that I would research it and do a post on the older parents in the Bible:

Genesis 11:30-32 (NIV):  “³⁰ Now Sarai was barren; she had no children.   ³¹ Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Haran, they settled there. ³² Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Haran.”

Genesis 21:1-5 (NIV):  “The Birth of Isaac ¹ Now the LORD was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did for Sarah what he had promised.  ² Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.  ³ Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him.  ⁴ When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him.  ⁵ Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.”

I heard the following in a message from Joyce Meyer recently:  The Lord had first asked Terah the father of Abraham to move away from Ur to the Promised Land, but Terah settled in Haran, and did not go any further.  God had to find someone else to make a covenant with and that person was Abraham.  The covenant was a very big promise:  A lot of fertile land, children as many as the stars and incredible blessings.  Terah settled for something less of that big promise God made, but Abraham did not and he eventually received everything that God had promised.  Are you settling or are you going after God’s promises in your life?

According to my reference Bible God used Abraham and Sarah’s infertility to build a special relationship with Abraham, so that Abraham could trust God and take the chance to move away. Because of the trust Abraham had in God he received the blessings that God had promised him and God showed how almighty He is by making Sarah pregnant at an age (90) when it was totally impossible.

In the last few years there have been many reports of older mothers in the news with claims that they are the world’s oldest moms, ladies of 62, 66, 67 and even 70 having babies with the help of IVF and donor eggs and sperm, but all this pales in comparison to Sarah getting pregnant naturally at the age of 90.  It could only have been a miracle from God.

Genesis 25:19-21 (NIV):  “ ¹⁹ This is the account of Abraham’s son Isaac.  Abraham became the father of Isaac, ²⁰ and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan Aram and sister of Laban the Aramean.  ²¹ Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.” 

Genesis 25:26 (NIV):  “… Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.”

Isaac was the child through which God’s promise was supposed to be fulfilled, but in spite of that he and his wife Rebekah were childless for 20 years.  I read one theory that in this case it could have been due to male factor infertility, according to the language of the Torah.  It says that Isaac pleaded to the Lord in the presence of his wife, rather than on behalf of his wife, and that God answered him, and not his wife.  Isaac also had no other children, so it could be the reason…

Our scripture says “… because she was barren.”  I don’t think in those times it could really be established with whom the problem was, but the important fact is that they were childless for 20 years before Rebekah had the twins and Isaac was 60 years old already when they were born. 

Luke 1:7 (NIV):  “⁷ But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well on in years.”

Luke 1:36-37 (NIV):  “³⁶ Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month.   ³⁷ For nothing is impossible with God.”

Luke 1:18-20 (NIV):  “¹⁸ Zechariah asked the angel, How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well on in years.  ¹⁹ The angel answered, I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news.  ²⁰ And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their proper time.”

Luke 1:65-66 (NIV):  “⁶⁵ The neighbours were all filled with awe, and throughout the hill country of Judea people were talking about all these things.  ⁶⁶ Everyone who heard this wondered about it, asking, What then is this child going to be? For the Lord’s hand was with him.”

Both Elizabeth and Zechariah were “upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly.”  Luke 1:6 (NIV).  So their infertility was not due to sin in their lives (you can also read  this post).  It also says that both of them were old, so old in fact that everybody talked about it.  They were so old that Zechariah could not help but to question the angel Gabriel.  As punishment for that he could not speak until his child’s birth.

It was such a miracle not only for this couple, but for everyone around them, that it could not be disputed by anyone.  This created an expectation that this child would be someone great one day, and he was – he was the forerunner of Jesus Christ – a very important job!

I love Luke 1:37:  “³⁷ For nothing is impossible with God.”  This scripture is so apt in all of the above examples, not only in Elizabeth’s case.  It could only have happened with the help of God, no other way, and it just shows that indeed nothing is impossible with God!

Fortunately we are not as old as these people from the Bible yet, so I’m going to keep them in mind for inspiration.  We have a lot more in our favour, so if they could get their miracles there sure is hope left for us!

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Childlessness was not the only option in the Bible:

Remember this post?  It’s one of my favourites because so many people commented on it and I loved to get everyone’s opinion.  It’s a topic that I’ve been thinking about for many years and when I got some insight into alternatives for the infertile people in the Bible I couldn’t wait to share it with you… 

Traditional surrogacy:

Genesis 16:1-2 (NIV):  “Hagar and Ishmael ¹ Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; ² so she said to Abram, The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her. Abram agreed to what Sarai said.”

Genesis 30:3-7 (NIV):  “³ Then she said, Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family.  ⁴ So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, ⁵ and she became pregnant and bore him a son.  ⁶ Then Rachel said, God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son. Because of this she named him Dan.  ⁷ Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son.”

Genesis 30:9-12 (NIV):  “⁹ When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her maidservant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife.  ¹⁰ Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a son.  ¹¹ Then Leah said, What good fortune! So she named him Gad.  ¹² Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a second son.”

Modern traditional surrogacy is done via IUI.  The eggs of the surrogate mother are inseminated with either the husband’s sperm or a donor’s sperm.  In the biblical times there was no IUI, so it was done with intercourse.  I’m sure a lot of modern women today are thankful that we don’t have to do it that way anymore! 

In my reference Bible it says:  “According to an ancient text from Nuzi from the second century BC it was customary for a barren woman to let her slave have intercourse with her husband, and to claim the resulting children as her own.”   An Assyrian text from the 7^th century BC has even more detail and roughly translated it says:  “if Subetu does not get pregnant and give birth, she may appoint a slave in her place.  Through the slave she (Subetu) will bring sons to life and the sons shall be hers.  If she likes the slave she may keep her, but if she hates her, she may sell the slave.”  

From the above verses you can see that both Rachel and Lea named the sons and it even says: “Then Rachel said, God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.”  Rachel is claiming the son as her own.  I always thought that the slaves were more like concubines, and the children were seen as their children, but it seems that was not the case.  I wonder if the slaves had any say in the matter.  I think not…

Adoption:

Genesis 48:5 (NIV):  “⁵ Now then, your two sons born to you in Egypt before I came to you here will be reckoned as mine; Ephraim and Manasseh will be mine, just as Reuben and Simeon are mine.”

Jacob had disinherited his eldest son Reuben, because he had committed incest with Jacob’s concubine.  Jacob gave Josef his brother Reuben’s portion as well as his own portion of his inheritance, but instead of it going directly to Joseph it is given to his sons Ephraim and Manasseh, whom Jacob had adopted. 

Exodus 1:22 (NIV):  “²² Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people: Every boy that is born you must throw into the Nile, but let every girl live.” 

Exodus 2:2-10 (NIV):  “² and she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. When she saw that he was a fine child, she hid him for three months.  ³ But when she could hide him no longer, she got a papyrus basket for him and coated it with tar and pitch. Then she placed the child in it and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile.     ⁴ His sister stood at a distance to see what would happen to him.  ⁵ Then Pharaoh’s daughter went down to the Nile to bathe, and her attendants were walking along the river bank. She saw the basket among the reeds and sent her slave girl to get it.  ⁶ She opened it and saw the baby. He was crying, and she felt sorry for him. This is one of the Hebrew babies, she said.  ⁷ Then his sister asked Pharaoh’s daughter, Shall I go and get one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?  ⁸ Yes, go, she answered. And the girl went and got the baby’s mother.  ⁹ Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, Take this baby and nurse him for me, and I will pay you. So the woman took the baby and nursed him.  ¹⁰ When the child grew older, she took him to Pharaoh’s daughter and he became her son. She named him Moses, saying, I drew him out of the water.”

Jochebed, Moses’ mother made a plan to try and save her son from the decree of Pharaoh.  She must have known that the Pharaoh’s daughter would go to bath at that specific spot, and she must have know that Pharaoh’s daughter would take pity on her baby.  I’ve read in one article that the Pharaoh’s daughter might have been infertile, as the argument is that someone who has children of her own might not accept a stranger’s baby as her own so easily.   

Esther 2:7 (NIV):  “⁷ Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This girl, who was also known as Esther, was lovely in form and features, and Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died.”

Enhancing fertility:

Genesis 30:14 (NIV):  “¹⁴ During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”

The Dudaim or Mandrake plant was traditionally believed to increase a women’s fertility but was also know for its aphrodisiac qualities and believed to remove sterility in the East.  It’s not commonly used anymore, but was also used for its anaesthetic qualities and could cause hallucinations if ingested in sufficient quantities.  The mandrake fruit would have been ripe between April and May for a very short time and it was quickly eaten by birds and animals.  Harvest time was late May to early June, so it was very unusual for Reuben to have found some.  That’s probably why Rachel wanted them so desperately.   

Ironically the mandrakes did not help Rachel to get pregnant, but Leah did get pregnant when Jacob visited her tent that night.  Rachel did conceive another boy at a later stage though only after Leah had another two sons and a daughter.

So you can see from the above that there were alternatives for the childless couples in the Bible.  They   could adopt, have a child though a slave or even use some herbal remedies (we only have proof of the mandrakes from the Bible, but there could have been others).  Why do some people expect us then to just have faith and pray for our own babies in today’s day and age? 

I’m convinced that our modern methods of ART are better than the traditional surrogacy method of the Bible, and  maybe we should remind the critics of ART of that next time they want to voice their opinions on a matter they know nothing about…

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The emotional side of infertility:

I’ve been studying infertility in the bible since I’ve been feeling down and I’ve come across some interesting revelations that I want to share with you.  Today’s revelation is about the emotions that we are going through due to our infertility. 

Genesis 30:1-2(NIV):   “¹ When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, Give me children, or I’ll die!  ² Jacob became angry with her and said, Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”

Rachel was jealous of her sister, because her sister was able to bear sons for Jacob and she could not.  She is so upset about it that she feels she cannot go on with life anymore.  It’s just unbearable for her…  I’ve read this before but only recently have I noticed that Rachel’s feelings are like mine!  After all these centuries and so many changes over time, the basic human reactions in certain situations are still the same! 

Poor Rachel – her husband Jacob did not understand her feelings.  Maybe it’s because he had 3 sons already by that time.  Jacob gets angry at her when she is so desperate for a child of her own, but isn’t that also a lot like how things go today?  A lot of women are desperate for a baby of their own, but it seems that their husbands are not that worried about it.  It seems that their husbands don’t understand how they are feeling.

My reference Bible says of Rachel:  “Rachel is a symbol of the disappointments and passion of so many barren women.  Her experience should be a revelation to other’s that do not know anything of this problem”  I like this – so many times other people think that what we are going through is not so bad, that we should just get over it.  I just wish others could see it so clearly, because it does not seem as though anybody I know has noticed it…

Genesis 30:22-24 (NIV):  “²² Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.  ²³ She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, God has taken away my disgrace.  ²⁴ She named him Joseph, and said, May the LORD add to me another son.”

Rachel was not content with the one son that she did have.  Joseph’s name means to add again, and it says in the Bible that she said:  “May the LORD add to me another son.”  Immediately after her son was born, she longed for another, otherwise she would not have named him so.  She did not appreciate the blessing she had already received and she wanted another son.  That was incredibly ungrateful of her, don’t you think? 

Can we really blame her?  I know that after we saw the one heartbeat on the scan, I also thought about when we could try for another, as I would love to have 2 children…  I have always thought it unfair towards a child not to have a sibling.  Maybe it’s because my sister and I differ in age with 14 months, and have always been very close.  A lot of people always asked if we were twins, because we were almost the same size… So I guess I was just as guilty as Rachel of an attitude of discontent.  I was incredibly grateful for our pregnancy and the one baby that had a heartbeat, but the next baby was already in the back of my mind…

The other barren woman that I want to discuss is Hannah.  There are some similarities to those of Rachel.  Both of them were married to a man that had two wives.  Both were barren but the other wife already had children…  Both were the apple of their husband’s eye… 

1 Samuel 1:6-8 (NIV):  “⁶ And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her.  ⁷ This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.  ⁸ Elkanah her husband would say to her, Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

Poor Hannah’s problem was made worse by the fact that the other wife, Peninnah kept taunting her about the fact that she could not have children.  I cannot even imagine how that must have felt.  It says that she wept and could not eat.  When I did my research one person said that Hannah was the first documented case of anorexia, because she did not eat.  I don’t necessary agree with this as I have trouble eating when I’m stressed or distressed, and that does not make me anorexic.  Some people are comfort eaters and others just don’t have any appetite and I have had that same problem since my miscarriage.  That could have been the case with Hannah. 

I must say there is a stark contrast between the reaction of Elkanah and Jacob.  Elkanah was concerned for his wife, he noticed that she was going through a hard time and did not get angry with her.  It seems though that Elkanah did not fully understand Hannah’s pain – this comment proves it: “Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”  He did not understand that her longing for a child had nothing to do with her love for him.  Thankfully my DH is more like Elkanah than Jacob…

1 Samuel 1:10-11 (NIV):  “¹⁰ In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD.  ¹¹ And she made a vow, saying, O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

1 Samuel 1:15-16 (NIV):  “¹⁵ Not so, my lord, Hannah replied, I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD.  ¹⁶ Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”

Hannah turned in her time of grief to God and asked Him to help her.  There is nothing wrong with admitting to God that you are sad or in pain, and to hand it all over to Him.  She was so desperate for a child that Hannah made some very tough promises to God.  Hannah was feeling completely alone in her anguish – all the characters we meet here, Peninnah, Elkanah and the priest Eli, who thought she was drunk, could not understand her pain.  The only one she could turn to was God, and God heard her prayer and a little while later their boy Samuel, who became one of the great prophets, was conceived.  Hannah trusted God in her darkest hour and God rewarded her for her obedience.

So what did I learn from these two women in the Bible?  I learnt that it is normal to have negative emotions about infertility – it’s not good for me, but it’s totally normal.  I know it’s wrong to be jealous and ungrateful, and I don’t want to condone it – we must confess our sins before the Lord, but it’s also no use beating myself up about it and feeling guilty all the time, especially after I’ve confessed those sins.  I also feel somewhat more normal that I sometimes feel like I cannot go on like this, or that I’m sad and grieving all the time… 

I don’t feel that Hannah did anything wrong from what we see of her in the scriptures, she was obviously very upset and incredibly sad, and feeling so desperate that she promised to consecrate her son to the Lord.  That could not have been easy to do but she kept her promise.  So that made me feel better about my own feelings of anguish, telling me that there is no sin in being sad.  The best lesson I’ve learnt from her is that I must trust God and turn to Him in my times of sorrow. 

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