Archive for August, 2011

23 Weeks pregnant:

Firstly, I want to thank all of you who have commented on my last post! I am feeling better and I must say I have been a bit down lately and when you are down, some things make you feel worse than other times. Thank you for your support, and it helped a lot. It’s not fair to be treated like that, but I guess life is not fair, hey? Some of your suggestions are great and I have taken them to heart.

Last night we spent some time with our ex-neighbours (the couple that love Shumi and KT so much, they missed them (and us), and came to visit). I only recently found out that the wife is also pregnant and only 3 weeks ahead of me (we must have talked often and never did either of us mention that we were pregnant!) so it was great to talk to someone who is almost at the same stage as us! They have said that they will invite us and the dogs over on a weekend to their place so maybe we will become friends… They are also expecting a boy, so we have a lot in common now…

One thing that she reminded me to do, is that I need to get us enrolled in antenatal classes. With all the drama we have been through lately I completely forgot about that. Well, I didn’t completely forget about it, but I was just so focussed on the water birth class that we are going to attend soon, that I thought we had some more time.

Next week we are going to see the midwife again and we have the water birth class, and then the week after I’ve booked another scan. I’m getting excited about all these appointments coming up! I love to see or hear our LO, and I think the water birth class will be very informative! I’ve been so interested in water birth ever since a former colleague of mine had 2 water births years ago, and it went very well, even though she was a tiny, thin little thing.

On the symptoms front it’s about the same, some symptoms I haven’t mentioned yet, but which I’ve had for a little while is, (sorry TMI) a bit of an incontinence problem at times when I sneeze or cough (thankfully that doesn’t happen often and is very embarrassing!) and my libido has increased a lot.

It feels like I have done quite a bit of sit ups, my stomach muscles are a bit sore most of the time and I definitely can’t bend so well anymore. I notice it most often when I try to get stuff out of the bottom of my kitchen cupboards and it’s a bit hard to get out of low chairs now too.

DH and I have a new hobby and that is to watch my tummy and see our LO kick. It’s so much fun to see how suddenly there is a ripple effect going over my tummy or bulges coming up out of nowhere. It does not happen often though that we get to see it, most of the time he goes quiet right when we start looking. DH was the first to see it about a week ago, when I was in the bath and he was sitting next to me. He says the water on my tummy made a reflection and that helped him to see it better. He was so impressed! I guess he also needs to enjoy some things first! I can’t have it all!

I’m not sure, but I also think our little boy might not be lying transverse anymore, because one night he was extremely active and moving around for probably something between 30-45 minutes, but not kicking. My belly was actually rock hard when he did that and suddenly he stopped, and the hardness went away. Afterwards I noticed the shape of my belly is different and the kicks are at different places, and more low down, where I did not feel it in the past. Another reason I cannot wait for my next scan, because I would like to know that he is lying correctly now, like I believe he is doing.

I sent an e-mail to the sisters at my IF clinic yesterday to update them, as they asked me to do and I’m once again so impressed with them! They are so amazing! The one sister is a midwife too, and she referred me to the midwives I am at, because she is going on leave for 2 weeks in December, and she actually said yesterday that I must sent her an SMS (text) message when I go into labour and if she is not away she will come to visit me and see how I’m doing! Isn’t that amazing, they are so caring and involved with their patients, even ex-patients…

Otherwise all is fine, and I’m still enjoying every moment of being pregnant. I love it so much that I wouldn’t mind feeling like this all the time! But I guess it’s the happiness factor added to the pregnancy that makes the difference, because I’ve only recently realized that I’ve had this unhappy feeling that I suppressed for so long which is gone now! There are some IF scars though, I notice I am still sensitive to many things, and I still get upset by almost all the things that upset me before I got pregnant, but the longing for a baby is gone and the worry of will we ever have our own children is gone, and that makes a huge difference. Add that to the excitement and anticipation of having our little boy soon and I’m feeling happy and content most of the time.

The only thing that is spoiling my happiness at the moment is the sadness over losing my mom, especially when I think of the impending birth, and the first few weeks of our son’s life. I think most women want to share that special occasion with their moms. I remember how involved my mom was when my sister’s daughters were born, and now I’ll never have those special moments to share with my mom. Thankfully my MIL is so very excited about her grandson and I’m sure she will be a very good substitute!


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Something on my mind:

(Warning a bit of a rant)

I don’t know if my feelings are justified or not, but I’m feeling a bit neglected or ignored or I’m not exactly sure what the right word is.

You see, the fact that I’m pregnant at my age bothers in one very definite way. Most family, friends and acquaintances are my age or a little younger or older, and they have all long ago been through the pregnancy thing and having babies etc, and to tell the truth I get the feeling that they are already so sick and tired of discussing stuff like that.

They ask me how I feel and how my pregnancy is going and then the topic is closed. It feels like they don’t want to listen to me getting excited about our pregnancy anymore. They were excited in the beginning yes, and grateful with us for this incredible blessing, but it’s old news now and it feels like they really don’t want to talk about my pregnancy or the baby room or buying stuff for the baby, and all those kind of topics, for longer than about 5 minutes and then they change the conversation.

And that is hurtful to me, because I have had to be there for other people over the past 12 years or so and act excited and happy about their pregnancies and babies, and it’s still going on, even now that the children are older. Even though it hurt like hell for most of that time, I think I was there for them. Of all the baby showers I was invited to, I think I missed only one, and I must have gone to at least a hundred (I used to have about 20 baby showers a year at work at one stage).

Before I joined the internet community and the IF forums I never knew it was ok to make an excuse and not go. I bit on my teeth and I went, even though I felt like crying every single time, and it felt like torture from the moment I got there until the moment I left.

And now when I think of those ladies I realize that most of them aren’t in my life anymore, I worked with a lot of them, but I’m not working anymore so I lost contact with them. A lot of friendships withered away, because they are so busy with their children who are almost all in school now, and they have nothing in common with me anymore. Even in our families – I went to so many cousin’s baby showers (on my side and DH’s side of the family), but they are all so busy with their children now that I really doubt that they would bother coming to mine if I have one.

The people who are still genuinely excited and interested in our pregnancy are so few that I can count them on my one hand, and I am truly grateful for them, please don’t misunderstand me. I know it’s not everybody…

Another thing that’s been bothering me is “fertile” people. When I hear about someone who is pregnant I really make a fuss and I congratulate them and ask them about the pregnancy, how they are feeling etc. But I’ve been in instances where those same people know I’m also pregnant and I haven’t had much more than a congratulations. And then they don’t really know what is going on in their own pregnancies… Don’t they realise what a blessing it is to be pregnant?

Yesterday I heard that a lady I barely know had a miscarriage recently. It was a very early miscarriage, I’m guessing between 4 and 5 weeks. So I sympathised and I really felt so bad for this lady, because I know miscarriages really suck, but every time I expressed my sympathy I was told, “Don’t worry she is OK, she is not upset. They are trying again and it will happen again soon.”

I cannot tell you how that upset me. I was absolutely, utterly devastated after our miscarriage and here it is just down played as if it is nothing. No wonder I didn’t get much sympathy from family and friends last year. I felt so isolated in my grief, because everyone else was acting as if it was nothing or that nothing happened. Do you think miscarriages are worse for infertile people, because we know how difficult it is to get pregnant in the first place and that there is no guarantee that it will happen again? I remember thinking many times, “What if this was our only shot, what if I never again get pregnant and we just got these 10 weeks of pregnancy with our baby?”

I don’t know, maybe I’m overly sensitive. It sure sounds like I’m very selfish, complaining about things that other people will probably not even notice. Usually I don’t like to rant and have a pity party, especially in a public place… Please forgive me if I’m not grateful enough towards some of the people I know in real life. I know that all of you have been such a support, you’ve been really amazing, and I know I’m complaining to the wrong people, the innocent ones, but I need to air this somewhere…

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I want to continue on with An.drew Wom.mack’s teaching on the atonement called:   Healing is in Christ’s Atonement, but this part is more to do with healing in specific.  It gives more scriptural proof that Jesus really paid for our healing too:

“Jesus didn’t just die for our sins, and then healing is something He could do if He wanted to, but no, He paid for the healing of our body as completely as He paid for the forgiveness of our sins.  Let me give you some scriptural references that put forgiveness of sins and healing of our body in the exact same verse, it claims it all as the one atonement of Jesus, that Jesus purchased it all at one time, and this is a different concept than what our modern day church is presenting.

Psalm 103:1-3 (KJV) says, 1Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.  2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:  3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Right there in the same verse it says that the Lord forgives our sins just as He heals all our diseases, in the same verse.

Here is another witness that goes right along that: 1 Peter 2:24 (KJV), it says, 24Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.”  It talks about, “He bore our sins, we being dead to sin, should live unto righteousness by whose stripes ye were healed.”  It puts forgiveness of sins and healing of
our physical body in the same verse.

The scripture does not separate what Jesus did, into, “well let’s just talk about forgiveness of sins.”  I’ve had people talk about, “well let’s not talk about healing, deliverance, prosperity, let’s just focus on forgiveness of sins, that’s the part that everybody can agree on, that’s what’s part of the atonement and all of these other things are like fringe benefits.”

I tell you, I believe that is an offensive concept to God.  Look at it this way, if I came and somehow or another I could die for you and literally take your sins, and forgive your sins, if I could have been Jesus, I can tell you that if I not only died for your sins, but if I also bore stripes on my body to produce healing for you, and if I was separated from God so that you would never have to be separated from Him, if I became poor so that you through my poverty might be made rich, if I did all of these things and then for you to come and say, “Well I thank you for what you did, but you know what, I’m only going to take one fourth of it, I’m going to say that the forgiveness of sins is the most important and that’s what I really want to focus on, and I’m not going to take advantage of the healing of my body, the deliverance form all the oppression and depression and the financial blessing, I just don’t want those things, you did more than enough for me and so I’m going to humble myself and only take one fourth of what you did.”  That wouldn’t please me.  It would make me feel like, “then what was the point of me doing all these other things!”

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, for what purpose?  It’s not only so that people wouldn’t go to hell, but it was so that they could be saved, not only from sin, but from sickness, from disease, again I refer you to Galatians 1:4 (KJV) that says that Jesus “gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world,” and there are just many other scriptures that go along with it.  If I suffered for you and you only took advantage of a portion of it, that wouldn’t please me!  Now if I could be like God, I’m sure that I would still love you, but it wouldn’t please me.

I’m not saying God is angry with people but it’s disappointing, I’m sure that God provided all for us and people aren’t taking advantage of it.  Basically Christianity has preached that forgiveness of sins is all that Jesus atoned for and, off course, “since God is God He could heal if He wants to, but that’s like icing on the cake, that’s extra, that isn’t a part of the basic package.”

I’m saying it is.  I’m saying that healing is in the atonement just as much as forgiveness of sins and if you would look at it that way then this would cause you to reject a lot of false teaching, like say for instance that God is the one who puts sickness on you.  God causes people to die and things like this, because God is trying to humble people, work some redemptive purpose, perfect them through all this stuff…  No!  If Jesus died for the forgiveness of your sins and for the healing of your body, and if they are all part of one atonement, well then that means that Jesus would no more put sickness on you than He would lead you to sin.

If you’ve got that attitude and say that I won’t submit to sickness anymore than I would go out and yield to sin, then you know what you would start seeing healing manifest in your body.  One of the reasons that a lot of people don’t see a greater degree of healing is because they aren’t committed to it.  They embrace it, thinking well this is just natural, or even worse, many times they are told that it’s God making them sick, and the Bible makes it very clear in James 4:7 (KJV) that, 7Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”   The word “resist” means to actively fight against.  How can you actively fight against the devil, sickness that comes from the devil, if you think God is the one that is making you sick?  If Satan can convince you that God wants you sick, that it isn’t a part of what He purchased, that He want you to be sick, then you won’t fight against it, you might ask for deliverance, but you won’t fight against it and claim it  and stand for it, but you need to get the same attitude towards sickness that you have towards sin.

I’m not condemning you if you get sick, anymore than I would condemn you if you would sin.  Christians are redeemed from sin, now the power of sin has been broken over us and we are dead to sin, we should not be living in sin.  But you know what, there is forgiveness and there is grace if you sin, and so I’m not condemning you.  I think every born again Christian has had to deal with the fact that we have not lived up to what we want to do, and I’m not condemning you for that, and likewise I’m not condemning a Christian who is sick, but I am condemning the attitude that would say sickness is something that God wants for us, that attitude is just as bad as saying that sin is something that God wants for us.  That’s wrong, Jesus redeemed us form sin and He also redeemed us from sickness.

Now can you learn something if you go out and sin?  You certainly can!  You go out and  take drugs and you can blow your mind, you can do stupid things, you can get in car wrecks, you can get arrested, same thing with alcohol, sexual perversion, you can get sexually transmitted diseases, you can learn something through that!  You can learn that that is stupid!  You can learn that there is something better to do and yes, you can benefit from it, but did God want you to go get drunk and have a car wreck and kill somebody to teach you that you should be seeking Him more?  Now you could learn that from that, but did God want you to do that?  No!  Nobody would say God made me get drunk, made me get high, and made me kill this person so that He could humble me.

See you wouldn’t say that because we recognise that Jesus died to set us free from sin, I’m saying that in the same way Jesus died to heal your physical body, therefore He is not the author of the sickness that comes against you.  In Acts 10:38 (KJV) this is very clear, this was the apostle Peter preaching to Cornelius and he was preaching the gospel and he was summarising the life of Jesus and he said, 38How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power:  who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.”   Notice it says that when Jesus went about healing people, that it was good.  Some churches today are saying that people who pray for people and claim that they are healed, that that is of the devil.  Well Jesus healed the sick and it says that that was good.  It brought glory to God, things that bring glory to God and draw people closer to God is not of the devil, the devil is not out healing people.   Jesus “went about doing good and healing all that where oppressed of the devil,” and not oppressed of God, God is not the author of sickness, He is not the one who makes you sick, that is not true!

Look at this passage of scripture in Isaiah 53:3-5 (KJV), I wish I have time to put it all in context but this is definitely prophesying about the Messiah and what He would do.  It says that, 3He is espised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.  4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Now, I’ve heard this scripture all of my life changed and interpreted in a way that says that this isn’t talking about physical healing, this is talking about emotional, spiritual healing.  That in a symbolic sense we were all cripples, we were limping through life because of the damage sin has caused in our life and Jesus set us free from that.  But if you study up the words in the Hebrew here especially in verse 4, the Hebrew words that were used in Isaiah 53:4 where it says, “surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows,” those words are referring to physical healing.  Now, I could go into the Hebrew and show you that but I’m telling you that here’s a very simple way for those of you that aren’t familiar with Hebrew.  I’m saying that here is a way that even people that don’t know Greek and Hebrew can learn this and in Matthew 8:16 -17 (KJV) it says, 16When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick:  17That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.”  That is a quotation of Isaiah 53:4, where it says He bore our sorrows and carried our griefs.  In Matthew 8 under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost this is scripture, it interprets those griefs and sorrows as being infirmities and sicknesses, it makes it clear that it was not talking about spiritual, emotional healing, it includes that but it’s specifically talking about the physical healing of our bodies.  You can see that by the context – it was when he was casting all of these demons out and He healed all that were sick and this was the fulfilment of that prophesy.

I’ve already used many scriptures that clearly relate physical healing to being a part of the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore it’s not optional, therefore it’s incorrect to say, “Let’s not preach healing, let’s just focus on the forgiveness of sins, that is dicing up, slicing up the atonement of Jesus into different parts and saying some parts of what Jesus did were important and others weren’t important.  That is not true it’s all important and we are not honouring God to pick and choose – we are presenting less than a true picture of the message of what God really wanted to communicate, we are not glorifying the Lord and because of that we made the message of the gospel irrelevant to some people because they see it as only applying to the future and having no relevance to our present day situation and that is just absolutely incorrect.”

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22 Weeks pregnant:

Things are still great and I must say I’m getting more and more excited about this baby!  I’m really itching to get the baby room ready, but I know it’s still early yet!  But I guess we will soon be looking for furniture!

I’ve put the curtains up, but we really need to paint the room, because the curtains are green and the walls are pink!  I cannot with a good conscience let our little boy sleep in a pink room!

I’ve unpacked all the stuff my sister gave me and there are a lot of gorgeous pink things in there that have barely been used (she has 2 girls), so they have been packed back into a box and maybe we will get to use it for baby #2, who knows!  The rest of the stuff was washed and I’ve also gone through all the things we have received as presents already, and the stuff I have bought as well.  I’ll wash those closer to our little boy’s birth, I think…

On the symptom front:  I’ve been getting cramps in my calves for the past few weeks already, but they are getting worse now!  I woke up twice this past week in the middle of the night in agony, and I’m already taking Ultimag for cramps…  Anybody know what else might work?  I know my sister said she also had this same problem during her pregnancies.

The heartburn is also getting worse, I’m not getting it more often, but the intensity is at least 10 times worse!  I’ve never had it so bad, but I’m still reluctant to take medication, so I’m taking a couple of sips of milk when I need it and that still helps.  I actually think I don’t have it bad – I can live with these symptoms, so please don’t think I’m complaining – I’m not!

Otherwise our little boy is still quite active – I feel him a lot now and it is so amazing and also very comforting, I must say!  DH also feels him often and he loves it so much!  He is so involved with my pregnancy, and he was actually quite shocked to hear that some men we know never felt their babies kick!

But my MIL told me last night that DH has always loved babies, even when he was a young boy, and at the stage where most of them don’t want anything to do with babies anymore, he would still go up to new moms with prams and have a look at their babies.  He was also so super chuffed when his sister was born when he was 5 years old already, where his older brother was upset and wanted to run away from home…

I just know our baby is loved so much already, by both of us, and I cannot imagine how much we will love him when he is here!  DH is also so protective of our little boy; he doesn’t even like it if I pat my belly, because he worries that it might wake our little one or that it might sound horrible to him!  I’m not allowed to do anything that might put me or our pregnancy at risk, like pick up heavy things and he even worries that I might slip and fall getting into or out of the bath!  I just love it, because I know he wants this baby so much, and that makes me incredibly happy!

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A year ago I didn’t even realize what Jesus’ atonement meant, until I started to listen to An.drew Wom.mack’s teachings and at first I heard him mention it a couple of times, and then I started to wonder, “but what is this atonement and how does it affect me?”  I recently listened to the teaching of An.drew Wom.mack, “God wants you well (part 1)” again.  The title of this specific teaching is Healing is in Christ’s Atonement and I want to quote a bit out of it for you:

“Healing is not just an add on, it’s not just an added benefit that only happens sometimes, but it is an essential part of what Jesus came to do.  Jesus died for our forgiveness of sins and He died for the physical healing of our body.  Another way of saying this is that Jesus purchased healing for us, just as He purchased forgiveness of sins.  It’s all a part of Christ’s atonement.

I know that, that is not a main stream doctrine today, but that is one of the reasons that so very few people operate in healing, because they look at it as, “certainly, God could heal if He wanted to,” but they don’t see that God has already redeemed us from sickness and disease.  They look at it as something He can do, but they don’t know for sure that it’s His will.  If you recognize that healing is a part of the atonement, then you recognize that the Lord has already healed us, He’s already purchased that, the power has already been generated, healing is a done deal and it is available to us exactly the same as forgiveness of sins is.

Now again, I know these are radical statements but let me show me some things that will prove that.  The Greek word that was translated, “save” and “saved”, a kind of all encompassing word for “salvation,” you know, hundreds of times in the New Testament is the Greek word “sozo”.  It literally means to, “save,” that is “deliver or protect literally or figuratively.”  But when you look at the way the word was translated it’s very obvious that this deliverance and saving is not only from sin, but it’s also from physical problems.

Like for instance in Galatians 1:4 (KJV):  4Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world…”  Not just the world to come, but this present evil world.  That is a tremendous statement.  Again, many people see what Jesus produced as only affecting the spiritual eternal realm and because of that we come up with songs like, “when we all get to heaven, what a day that will be…”, and even though I’m not diminishing that it is going to be glorious in heaven, Jesus also came to deliver us from this present evil world not just the one to come.   The word “save” here isn’t only talking about “saved us from hell,” He saved us from our sins and future punishment but Jesus also came to save, deliver and protect us in this physical world.

There are 38 times that the word “sozo” was translated “save” in reference to the forgiveness of sins, I’m not going to take time to list all of those but you can search this out and find it.  Some examples are Matthew 1:21; 1 Corinthians 1:21; Hebrews 7:25, there are just a lot of them.  There are also 53 times that this same Greek word “sozo” was translated “saved,” past tense, referring to forgiveness of sins, but there were also times when this exact same word was translated “healed.”

For instance in Mark 5:23, where it was talking about Jairus’ daughter, Jairus was the ruler who came to Jesus and asked Jesus to come heal his daughter, and it says in Mark 5:23 (KJV):  23And besought him greatly, saying, My little daughter lieth at the point of death: I pray thee, come and lay thy hands on her, that she may be healed; and she shall live.”  That word “healed” right there is this Greek word “sozo”, and it’s referring to physical healing, it’s obvious, and the story goes on that the little girl actually died and Jesus raised her from the dead and that was referring to physical healing, physical resurrection from the dead.

Also in Luke 8:36 (KJV) it says:  36They also which saw it told them by what means he that was possessed of the devils was healed.”  Now, this is talking about the man who was commonly called the Gadarene demoniac, who was bound with chains, and nobody could hold him, he’d just break the chains, Jesus set him free and it says here in scripture, Luke 8:36 that “he that was possessed of the devils was healed.”  That word is “sozo”, again the word that is used for forgiveness of sins, but that exact same word is also applied to physical healing.  That’s the second instance I’ve given you.

The third is in Acts 14:9 (KJV), this is talking about a cripple, that Paul healed when he prayed for him, 9The same heard Paul speak: who steadfastly beholding him, and perceiving that he had faith to be healed,” this is talking about Paul “Beheld this man,” who was going to be healed and he perceived that he had faith to be healed, that word healed there is the Greek word “sozo”,  the same word that was used talking about forgiveness of our sins.

The same word was also translated “save” in reference to healing and the save here was definitely talking about more than forgiveness of sins, it was talking about “healing”.  A classic example is James 5:15 (KJV) and it says there 15And the prayer of faith shall save,” that is “sozo”, “the sick,” the same word that used for the forgiveness of sins, “and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have ommitted sins, they shall be forgiven him.”  So this is another reference talking about how the word for salvation, “save,” is talking about more than just forgiveness of sins but rather it is talking about healing of your body.

It goes on to say in Luke 6:9 (KJV):  9Then said Jesus unto them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it?”  Now He was talking about healing a person on the Sabbath day, and when He was referring to healing this man, he says, “is it right for me to save this life? And He wasn’t just talking about forgiveness of sin, but He was talking about healing of the body.

This same word was translated “made whole” in reference to healing.  In Matthew 9:21 (KJV) it says:  21For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.”  That was the woman who had the issue of blood and came up to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment and she used this word “sozo”, which was synonymous with forgiveness of sins, she also applied that same word
to being healed physically.  The same thing is said in Mark 5:28 (KJV):  28For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.”  This is the same instance recorded in Mark’s gospel, again that same word was used, it was translated “made whole” eight times in scripture.

Matthew 9:22 (KJV) says, 22But Jesus turned him about,” this is that same instance with the woman with the issue of blood, “and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.”  The word for “whole” in this instance is “sozo,” the same word that is used for forgiveness of sins showing that all of this Greek word is not limited to forgiveness of sin.

The same thing is done in Mark 6:56 (KJV) where it says:  56And whithersoever he entered, into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets, and besought him that they might touch if it were but the border of his garment: and as many as touched him were made whole.”  That’s that Greek word “sozo”.

The point I’m making through this is that the word for salvation does not only mean forgiveness of sins, it literally means “forgiveness of sins, healing of your body, those are the scriptures I’ve emphasized, but if you were to study it on out, it also is translated deliverance in Acts 13, and it also means financial prosperity.  So the Greek word for salvation does not refer only to forgiveness of sins, that’s the way it’s been interpreted and presented by the modern day church but that is a misrepresentation of what Jesus did.

Jesus did not only die for the forgiveness of our sins, it included that and that is certainly a center piece of what He did, I’m not minimizing the forgiveness of our sins but I’m saying at the same time that He bought and purchased our redemption from sin, He also freed us from sickness, He also freed us from depression, deliverance from the devil, and He also freed us from poverty.  2 Corinthians 8:9 (KJV) says that, 9For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.”

This is where the denomination called the “Four Square Gospel” comes from.  They literally went to the Greek word “sozo” that was translated “save, saved, salvation,” all of these different ways, and they looked at what the word literally means, and it means forgiveness of sins, healing of your body, deliverance from all kinds of demonic oppression, depression, and financial blessing and prosperity.”

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21 Weeks pregnant:

I’ve passed the halfway mark!  I wonder if the second half of my pregnancy will also seem to fly by so quickly.  Not that I want it to fly by, I am very happy and content to savour every moment of pregnancy, as I love being pregnant!  I know some people who have said they did not like being pregnant much, but I can honestly say it’s everything I’ve imagined and even better than I could have thought!

Last Saturday we had our 20 week fetal assessment scan.  It was once again totally amazing and wonderful to see our little boy again, and it’s definitely a boy!  No doubt!  Even before the sonographer could say anything we all could see that he can only be a boy.  He was not shy at all and was lying with his legs open the whole time.  So I guess it’s a good thing we did not want to keep it a surprise, because it would have been spoiled!

Every single thing of baby that was measured or checked is perfect!  The only slight problems were my placenta which is a bit low (0.70 cm from cervix) and the fact that our baby is lying transverse, but at this stage neither is a problem yet.  Apparently the placenta will move up as my uterus stretches more, and since it’s not actually covering my cervix at the moment she thinks it will be far enough away by the time our little boy is born.

From the beginning of this week I’ve been having some muscle pains in my abdomen – it really feels like my muscles are starting to stretch now, and my baby bump is getting bigger by the day.  Fortunately it is mostly uncomfortable and not too painful.  My MIL went with for the scan and we saw her again on Monday and she said there was a noticeable change in just two days.

Well my bump is so much bigger that I’ve started to wear maternity tops.  Most of my normal tops are too tight around my boobs now and I can’t really close the buttons at the top anymore, and even though the tops are long they are riding up on my bump and that causes my bare skin to be exposed at the bottom – not a very flattering look, let me tell you!  I’m still wearing my own pants, but they are sometimes a bit tight at the button.  So I bought some of those belt expanders, but even the smallest size one is still too big for me.  Maybe I’ll be able to wear it in a week or two…

Our little boy is kicking harder now and I can feel him a lot more frequently!  It was amazing to see how much he moved around during the scan, yet I could not feel any of those movements, and that makes me wonder what he does when I do feel him.  DH has been able to feel him almost every day now and he loves to have his hand on my belly at night in front of the TV and when we lie in bed.
Those are some very special times between the three of us!

I don’t know if it’s been the moving and all the hard work involved with it, but I’m totally pooped again these days from just after lunchtime, so much so that it reminds me a lot of my first trimester where I took quite a lot of naps.   I didn’t really have time to take naps, but today I just collapsed into bed and slept for a couple of hours.  I’ll see if it gets better if I rest a bit, as I understand the tiredness is only supposed to come back in the third trimester, not now.

Things are still a bit disorganised at home, so much so that my computer was online for the first time today, and we still need to connect up the scanner, so I’ll see if I can post some scan pictures tomorrow.  I also think it’s high time for another belly picture, so I hope I’ll remember to ask DH to take a new one tomorrow morning.

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