Posts Tagged ‘ICLW’


Hi! Welcome to all new IComLeaveWe visitors!  It’s been a while since I last participated, and I’m looking forward to reading lots of new blogs!  If you are new to my blog let me try to give you a summary of what I’ve been blogging about:

· My blog is mostly about Christian messages of comfort and hope that have helped me to cope with my current circumstances, and I like to share those messages as I’m sure other people also need to hear those messages.
· At the moment we are also praying for miracle healing for my mom, a friend I like to call “G” and our dog Shumi.  All of them have been diagnosed with cancer.  They are all doing well though and we are confident that they will be healed.
· We are not doing any more fertility treatments.  We are hoping and praying for a miracle and that I’m going to get pregnant naturally.
· It’s been 11 years since we wanted to start our family.  I got my very first BFP last year, but I miscarried. 
· We got the BFP on the very last IVF cycle we could afford.  We actually over extended ourselves and it was very hard for me to come to terms with the fact that we were so close to getting our family and then we could not try again.
· After Shumi got sick we got a puppy called KT and she doesn’t look like a puppy anymore – she is 8 months old tomorrow. 
· My dogs are my children at the moment and they give me so much joy. 

I think that is a good summary of what my blog is all about.  If you want some more info you are welcome to click on About or the ICLW tag…


Read Full Post »

101 posts!

I saw after I posted my last post that it was in fact my 100th post. So I think I’ll rather celebrate my 101st post here! Since it’s almost ICLW I’ll also make this my ICLW introduction.  Welcome all new readers!

It’s been almost 6 months of blogging and have those 6 months flown by!  But so much has happened since I started this blog it should not be a surprise!  When I started this blog I was wondering if we should do another IVF, and scared out of my mind that it would result in another BFN. We did go ahead and we got our first BFP ever! I could not believe it at first; I was almost convinced it would never happen. At 7 weeks we had our first scan, and we found out that there was 1 healthy heartbeat and 1 blighted ovum. I was a little sad about losing the one, but a lot more happy about the healthy heartbeat! I focussed on the good news and not the bad news. Almost three weeks later I got the worst news ever – our little precious baby’s heartbeat had stopped beating. Something that I never thought would ever happen to me (how naïve!) I always thought that once I got pregnant that everything would be all right – that it would be the end of the struggle and problems, but not so! I had the D & C at about 10 and a half weeks.

In the mean time my mom also found out that her cancer had returned – her Para aortic lymph nodes were swollen, but because she didn’t trust her oncologist she went for a second and third opinion. It turned out after a PET scan that those lymph nodes were PET positive, which does not mean its a 100% chance of cancer, but most probably it is. Rather than taking chances the new oncologist suggested that she go for chemotherapy. She had had 1 session so far and is getting the second one next week Monday. She took the first chemo rather well – the only side effect she had was extreme tiredness, fortunately no nausea or hair falling out or any other symptoms. My mom’s oncologist said that the rest of the treatments will result in the same side effects as the first one, so she should be taking it all rather well. That was such good news for her!

We also found out about a month after our miscarriage that our beloved dog Shumi had a tumour in his nose and the 2 vets we had him at said that there is nothing they can do to treat or cure him. We were also told that he has a few months to live at the most. It was absolutely devastating news to us, especially if you take into account that Shumi is still relatively young at 5 years… Shumi is like a child and we absolutely adore him. I could not accept that I have to lose Shumi too, so in desperation I studied faith healing and even went to a healing service, not just for Shumi, but also for DH, my mom and myself… I am hoping for full healing for all of us…

We also got another puppy (KT), not to replace Shumi, but because I always wanted another puppy after our last one passed away more than 3 years ago already. She is absolutely adorable and I must say she does help to distract me from the worst of the broody feelings. I’m posting some more pictures and another video clip of Shumi and KT:

Read Full Post »


Hello to all and welcome to my blog! I’m a 39 year old who is still trying to have her first baby. It’s been a long and hard road so far, it’s almost 11 years now since we started trying. We had our first BFP ever a few months ago, but unfortunately lost our baby due to trisomy 13 or Patau Syndrome just over 5 weeks ago. So now we have to try IVF again.

We have some other worries at the moment as well – my mom had uterine cancer recently, and it might have spread to her para aortic lymph nodes, but we don’t know for sure until she’s had a PET scan, which will happen hopefully this week. Her oncologist said at first that it was definitely cancer and that she had to go for another course of radiation and chemotherapy, but she went for a second opinion after some conflicting test results and it might not be cancer according to the other doctor. Apparently the PET scan will pick up any cancer in her lymph nodes, but it is quite expensive so they are waiting for authorisation from the medical aid…

The other worry is my “furbaby” Shumi, our 5 year old boxer, who is currently at the vet for x-rays of his nose, as they suspect he might have a tumour – we are hoping and praying that it’s not the case, because they say it’s a very nasty cancer…

I’m sorry this has not been a very upbeat introduction, but if you would like some more info you can always click on the ICLW tag on the right….

Read Full Post »

Its ICLW again!

I cannot believe how time has flown!  It seems like a few weeks ago that it was ICLW and it’s that time already again! 

If you want some more info on me you can read more here, or from my previous ICLW posts here and here.  A lot has changed in the three months I have been participating in ICLW.  The first month I was in my 2WW and found out on the 28th that I was pregnant.  The second month I was just getting used to being pregnant and very happy about our miracle.  Since then I started spotting and the doctor found that our baby’s heartbeat was slow.  3 agonizing days later we found out that the heartbeat had stopped.   I had a D & C a week ago and physically I’m well again.  It’s the emotional healing that is going to take time…

I do not know what went wrong yet, I must still make an appointment with my FS and we will probably discuss another POA for a future IVF then as well.  One thing I know now is that I want a baby even more now, much more than before this pregnancy, because now I know how it feels to be pregnant and we were so happy about it!

Today I have to take my other “child”, Shumi, to the vet – he is not feeling too well, he’s had a snot nose for a couple of days now, and it does not seem to get better… It’s not too bad during the day, but at night it’s bad – he has trouble breathing through his nose and that’s what’s worrying me the most.  So for the first time ever I can now also say that I have a snot nosed kid!

Here is a picture of him with his snot nose – you can see he does not look very happy!  Please excuse the quality of the pictures – I took it last night with my phone and Shumi did not like it at all!  I could not get a second chance, to try and get a better one!

And this is how he gets rid of the problem!

Read Full Post »

Welcome ICLW’ers:

This is the second month I’m participating in IComLeavWe, and last month I was in my 2ww of my 3rd fresh IVF.  On the last day I got the excellent news that I finally got my BFP after 10 years and 5 months of trying.  I am 7 weeks pregnant today and we got to see the heartbeat of our little one with our first scan yesterday.  It was the most amazing experience of my life!

I thought I would share some random facts about myself, just so that you can get to know me better:

  • I’m the older of 2 girls and I’m 14 months older than my sister.
  • My parents are Dutch immigrants, but I was born here in South Africa.  We did live in the Netherlands for 3 years when I was 6-9 years old.
  • I’m rather tall – 1.77m or about 5ft 10 inches (I hope I converted it correctly)
  • We have 4 godchildren – my sister’s 2 girls (MC is 6 and TM is 4) and DH’s older brother’s 2 sons (MA is 4 and WJ is 2).
  • We are currently babysitting our 2 nieces as their parents are in the UK.
  • DH is exactly 6 months older than I, to the day.
  • DH and I went to the same school, but we didn’t know each other then, although I was friends with some of the boys in his class.  I knew of him, but he can’t remember ever seeing me there.
  • On our first date DH asked me if I ever wanted to have children – just to check that we are on the same page.  He almost scared me off there.
  • We only met 3 weeks before my 22nd birthday, and he bought me an expensive gold ring, although he hardly knew me…
  • The longest I ever dated someone else before DH was 1 month.

Read Full Post »

It’s IComLeavWe:

This is the first time I’m participating in IComLeavWe, as my blog is not even a month old yet.  Welcome to all visiting!  We are currently in the 2WW after our 3rd fresh IVF.  We have been trying for more than 10 years and I haven’t had a BFP ever!  I’m hoping that I’ll get my first one in a week’s time though!  As I’m quite an analytical person I thought I’ll share a comparison I’ve made of all my IVF treatments with you.

  IVF # 1 IVF ICSI  # 2 FET IVF  ICSI #3
My age 36 38 38 39
Stim Meds Gonal F  Fostimon  No meds Femara  
  Lucrin Lucrin   Gonal F
Protocol Short Long N/A Short
# eggs retrieved 14 14 N/A 5
# eggs fertilized 14 12 N/A 4
# replaced 2 Blastocysts  3 x 8 cell  2 x  3 cell  1 x 8 cell  
  2 Morulas     1 x 6 cell
        2 x 4 cell
embryo quality 1  x Grade 1 blast  1 x Grade 1   Both Grade 5 2 Grade 1 (8 & 4 cell) 
  1  Grade 2 blast 2 x Grade 2   2 Grade 2 (6 & 4 cell)
  2 x Grade 2 morulas      
day of transfer Day 5 Day 3 Day 4 Day 3
# embryo’s frozen 0 9 All were defrosted 0
Other medication   Prednisone from CD2 Prednisone from CD 2 Prednisone from CD 2
      Intralipid drip  Intralipid drip  
      1 week before ET 2 days before ER
        Ecotrin from day after ER
  1 cyclogest/day  3 cyclogest/day  3 cyclogest/day  3 cyclogest/day 
  From day after ER From day after ER From day after ER From day after ER

You might wonder how I cope with more than 10 years of infertility.  For many years I did not cope – I was depressed, angry and bitter.  After my first IVF failed I almost had an emotional breakdown.  In that time I turned to God and I was finally able to give my heart completely to Him, and I was Born-again and filled with the Holy Spirit.  Since then I’ve come to rely and trust in Him with all my heart.  God has given me new hope, and I’m so thankful that I wanted to share it with as many people as possible.  I have changed so much in the past 2 and a half years, and it’s all for the better!  That is why a lot of my posts are about messages that I either had to learn, or I’m still learning.

Read Full Post »