Sowing and Reaping:

I’ve wanted to blog about this topic for a while now, but every time something else came along that seemed more important to blog about.  I have heard a few messages about it again recently, so I think now is the time to write about it.

I heard people speaking about this concept a lot, but I never really thought much about it and the impact it has on our lives.  A lot of Christians believe in it, but I don’t think they actively apply it in their lives, just like I never did.

There is this natural law, like the law of gravity, that if you sow one seed, you get back many more seeds in return.  One seed will germinate and develop into a plant that can create hundreds of seeds.  So by putting in the effort and sowing something, you will reap a harvest many times more than what you put in.  We have to co-operate with this law – it will not work otherwise.  We cannot reap a crop if we never sow a seed…

In the spiritual realm it works the same.  You have to put in something to be able to get more of the same back in return.  I have heard the same example used every time, so I’ll also use it:

Luke 6:38 (NIV):  “³⁸ Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

If you have financial problems for instance, you have to give some to receive some.  The principle works like this: You give some money to ministry and God can bless the seed you’ve given Him and multiply it. Just like if you would have sown actual seed. Eventually you will get a harvest and the harvest will be more than what you have sown.  It is difficult for some people to give away some of the little they have and to believe that God will bless them with more, but that is how it works. 

It doesn’t have to work only with finances – it can apply to different aspects of life.  Here are a couple of Scriptures from the Bible that apply the principle of sowing and reaping:

Job 4:8 (NIV):  “⁸ As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it.”

Proverbs 22:8 (NIV):  “⁸ Whoever sows injustice reaps calamity, and the rod they wield in fury will be broken.”

Hosea 10:12 (NIV):  “¹² Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you.”

2 Corinthians 9:6 (NIV):  “⁶ Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”

Galatians 6:7-8(NIV):  “⁷ Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.  ⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”

James 3:18 (NIV):  “¹⁸ Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”

So my question to you is what are you sowing?  What do you believe?  What do you think about constantly?  What do you say out loud?  How do you act?  Because that will determine what you reap.  If you speak and think negatively all the time you shouldn’t be surprised if negative things happen in your life.  Are you expecting bad things to happen?

One example I want to use is side effects of medication.  I started taking fertility medication (Clomid) in 2000.  I didn’t have access to the internet then, and nobody told me that there were side effects, so I never had any side effects.  After 2 IUI’s the FS I had at that stage started to combine the Clomid with injectable medication. Again I didn’t have any side effects.  Later when I went for my first IVF, I did not read up about it on the internet so again I didn’t know that there were side effects, and I didn’t have any…

Today when you read up about any of the medication that they give you, you read so much about the side effects and how they affect you.  I was surprised to see how bad the side effects of Clomid can be.  I honestly cannot say I have experienced any of those bad side effects.  Not for Clomid, Femara, Gonal F, Fostimon, Utrogestan, Cyclogest, Meticorten or whatever else I got.  By the time I read about the side effects I already believed that they didn’t affect me. 

I read on the infertility forums a lot of threads about ladies who haven’t taken any medication yet, but they are already stressing about those side effects.   It will not surprise me if they get side effects, and maybe even have every single one of those they read that the other people had, because they believe they will get them…

What I’m trying to say is, be aware of what you believe, say and think.  Start to act and speak according to what you want.  I want to get pregnant, so I’m saying that I’m fertile and that I will conceive naturally.  Now at first I did not believe it, but after saying it a hundred times or maybe even more I do believe it now.  I am speaking of Shumi as my healthy dog, even if he doesn’t seem healthy, because I’m saying what I believe God’s Word says and I’m not going to agree with what I see.  DH went to our GP the other day with an ear infection.  The doctor said he had some kind of eczema in his ears that is a chronic condition that cannot be cured.  When we walked out of there I said to DH, “I don’t care what the doctor says, you do not have a chronic condition and you will get cured.”  Thank goodness DH agreed with me, and he is much better already.  Not 100%, but we believe it will be gone very soon! 

I am not going to agree with the devil anymore.  From now on I only want to sow positive things and I want to reap an abundant harvest of blessings.  I am determined that there will be no more negative thoughts or words or actions for me!

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The battle is on again…

It feels like I’ve hit a wall with Shumi’s healing.  He’s much better since the day he had so much bleeding, but the snot is back again.  At times both his nostrils are blocked and he has real trouble breathing.  Mostly at night, so that means we are not getting a lot of sleep as he wakes us anything from 3 to 5 or 6 times a night…  I think it’s a ploy from the devil – to wear us down so that we cannot resist his attacks.

I’ve been looking for help for the last week or so, to find out what the problem can be, and I have read and heard some explanations of what it can be, but I’m not sure if that is it.  As a matter of fact I’m not sure what I must or can do differently.  All I do know is that the problem does not lie with God.  Shumi is already healed, but something is blocking his healing, and I’m pretty sure it’s not a lack of faith from my side…

I heard a message last week from An.drew Wom.mack where he proved the above point from the Bible out of the book of Daniel:

Daniel 9:20-23 (NIV):  “²⁰ While I was speaking and praying, confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel and making my request to the LORD my God for his holy hill— ²¹ while I was still in prayer, Gabriel, the man I had seen in the earlier vision, came to me in swift flight about the time of the evening sacrifice. ²² He instructed me and said to me, Daniel, I have now come to give you insight and understanding. ²³ As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed. Therefore, consider the message and understand the vision:”

Daniel 10:1-3 (NIV):  “¹ In the third year of Cyrus king of Persia, a revelation was given to Daniel (who was called Belteshazzar). Its message was true and it concerned a great war. The understanding of the message came to him in a vision.  ² At that time I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks.  ³ I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over.”

Daniel 10:11-13 (NIV):  “¹¹ He said, Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you. And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling.   ¹² Then he continued, Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.  ¹³ But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia.”

In Daniel 9, Daniel prayed on behalf of his people and the angel Gabriel came to him.  My Bible doesn’t say how long it took before Gabriel came to Daniel in a vision, but it looks like it was the same day.  What is important is what Gabriel told Daniel.  He said, “²³ As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given…”  That means as soon as Daniel asked, God had given him an answer.  It might not have manifested immediately, it could have taken a few minutes or hours, we don’t know how long it took…

Then in Daniel 10, Daniel prays and fasts again, but this time it took 3 weeks before the angel came to him.  One would think that the second time it would not take as long as the first time.  I mean Daniel has been through it all already, and should know exactly what to do.   He should have enough faith for it to happen again…

Look at what the angel tells him this time, “Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.  ¹³ But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia.”

Again the response is that Daniel’s prayers were answered the moment he started praying.  But this time there was opposition in the spirit realm.  It took 2 angels 21 days to overcome the darkness before the answer to Daniels prayers could be manifested…  So the problem did not lie with Daniel.  His faith was strong enough, he did everything right…  Just think what could have happened if Daniel gave up after 2 weeks – if he stopped believing that God will answer his prayers.  It would have been stopped in the spiritual realm and his prayers would not have been answered.  The devil would have won, because he would have been able to steal this away from Daniel.  I think that happens a lot with us these days.  We pray for something but before we get it, we give up.   Our dream is aborted, and that is the last thing I want to do…  I am not going to give up.

In our situation it could be that the problem does lie with me.  Like I said, I’m not sure what it is…  I cannot be compared to Daniel, that is for sure.  But it can also be that something/someone else is blocking the full healing of Shumi. 

I am incredibly thankful for the things God has done for us.  The fact that the lump on Shumi’s back disappeared so quickly – until today I still don’t know what it was, I just know it was big and hard and was not there one day and there the next.  Shumi also had a smaller lump next to his tail that disappeared and the snot was gone for at least 2 months.   Shumi’s eye is also healed – there is no more snot or blood coming from it and it hasn’t for a long time.  Those are all real miracles to me.  Especially when I think back to the other dog that was diagnosed with the same cancer in the same week as Shumi was, that passed away 2 weeks later.  It is almost a year since Shumi’s symptoms started and 7 months since the official diagnosis…  That is also a miracle in my eyes and I thank God for that regularly.

Shumi is still very alert, he has a healthy appetite, as a matter of fact he eats better than before he got sick.  He was always a picky eater and there were days where he just didn’t want to eat, but he hasn’t been like that for months…  He has lots of energy and he and KT play every day for a few hours, and they play rough!  During the day Shumi seems normal and a lot of people have questioned us about his diagnosis and what the vet says about his current state, because they just cannot believe the cancer diagnosis can be correct.  So I know that God has done great things to date, but I keep doing the same as always and things look like they are getting worse again. 

I am not going to let that get me down, but I know I need to do something.  What I don’t know yet… All I know is I cannot give up.

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IComLeaveWe:

Hi! Welcome to all new IComLeaveWe visitors!  It’s been a while since I last participated, and I’m looking forward to reading lots of new blogs!  If you are new to my blog let me try to give you a summary of what I’ve been blogging about:

· My blog is mostly about Christian messages of comfort and hope that have helped me to cope with my current circumstances, and I like to share those messages as I’m sure other people also need to hear those messages.
· At the moment we are also praying for miracle healing for my mom, a friend I like to call “G” and our dog Shumi.  All of them have been diagnosed with cancer.  They are all doing well though and we are confident that they will be healed.
· We are not doing any more fertility treatments.  We are hoping and praying for a miracle and that I’m going to get pregnant naturally.
· It’s been 11 years since we wanted to start our family.  I got my very first BFP last year, but I miscarried. 
· We got the BFP on the very last IVF cycle we could afford.  We actually over extended ourselves and it was very hard for me to come to terms with the fact that we were so close to getting our family and then we could not try again.
· After Shumi got sick we got a puppy called KT and she doesn’t look like a puppy anymore – she is 8 months old tomorrow. 
· My dogs are my children at the moment and they give me so much joy. 

I think that is a good summary of what my blog is all about.  If you want some more info you are welcome to click on About or the ICLW tag…

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Sorry, I’ve been busy…

I know I’ve been quiet the last few days, but that is because I came across this incredible teaching series and I’ve been listening to it every single moment I could.  It’s from And.rew Wom.mack Ministries and it is called Chris.tian Sur.vival Kit. 

If you have time please do yourself a favour and listen to it.  I wish I have found this months ago.  Basically it is a teaching on how to act and what to do when you are faced with a crisis situation.  I would not recommend that you leave it until you are faced with a crisis.  Ideally you need to know what to do the moment you are faced with a crisis, but if you are in a crisis at the moment then obviously you must get to it immediately.  It will take a lot of hours to finish listening to it, but please do not let it put you off.  If time is an issue just try to listen to 1 teaching a day. 

I would love to be able to share it all with you, but it’s just way too much information.  It would take me months to blog about it all…

***

On another note – my mom started with her radiation this week, and she’s had 3 treatments already.  By the rate this is going she will be finished by the end of the month.  This is going so fast – the previous place she went to took their time with everything.  It was about a month or more from her fist appointment to her first radiation treatment.  And then they cancelled so many appointments that it took 6 or 7 weeks instead of 5 weeks to finish. 

My mom was a bit tired the other day but otherwise she is fine.  She had an appointment this week with the Gastroenterologist that treated her for her bowel problems and this doctor was incredibly upset that she was getting radiation again, because he had to try and fix the damage from the previous radiation.  So my mom says she mentioned his concerns to the people that give her the radiation and they said that they are very careful and they try to just radiate her Para-aortic glands.  Fortunately she is not getting radiation in the same spot as last time.  It’s much higher than where her colon is.  I’m praying that this will be the last treatment that she has to endure and that there will be no other complications…

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An award? For me?

Wow!  I cannot believe I have been awarded a blog award!  Thanks Jen!  I feel so honoured.  It’s my first award!

Here are the rules:
1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers.

4. Contact the bloggers and tell them about the award.

Here are some things about myself:
1.       My favourite subjects at school were art and mathematics.  I am both creative and analytical.
2.       After school I studied Fashion Design.  I only worked in that field for 3 months under horrible circumstances.  I quit and went to work for a major bank here in South Africa and was stuck there for 14 years!  The bank job was only supposed to be a stepping stone…
3.       I actually wanted to start my own line of baby clothing while working at the bank and I made lots of gorgeous baby clothes for all the ladies working with me and whose baby showers I had to attend.  When I realized that I wasn’t going to get pregnant soon, I stopped making the baby clothes…  IF killed that dream…
4.       I have very long, thin fingers.  People have made comments on that ever since I can remember.  I was always asked if I played the piano.  DH wanted to buy me a pinkie ring once and measured my finger at a flea market, and when he bought the ring the lady behind the counter told him it was impossible – that only children have such thin fingers.  They refused to sell him such a small ring and he had to give me a ring that was too big (it fit my ring finger) and he actually took me back to the shop and had that lady measure my finger to prove that the original measurement was correct and to swop the ring for the smaller one he originally wanted to buy.
5.       Even though I love dogs, I was bitten seriously twice.  The first time was by a neighbour’s Bull terrier when I was 11 years old and later by our own Cocker spaniel when I was 19.  The second time was in my face and the dog bit off a part of my nose.  I had to go to hospital for plastic surgery to fix my nose and you can still see the scar today…  That is one reason I love my boxers, they are not aggressive dogs at all.
6.       Generally my family is very healthy.  My one granddad only passed away when he was 94 and my other grandmother also when she was over 90 already.  The other 2 passed away from cancer around the age of 78 (I’m not 100% sure of my facts here…)  My granddad actually wanted to reach the age of 100 as his dad lived to the ripe old age of 99.
7.       My mom is one of 8 children and my dad is one of 7 children.  So both sets of grandparents were incredibly fertile…

I’m nominating the following ladies for an award:
1.        Miela at Babybummer
2.       Rae at Barrenista
3.       Amy at Chapters
4.       Samcy at Communiqué
5.       Elaine at God’s faithfulness through infertility
6.       CaSondra at Life adventures with the SHIM’S
7.       Melody at Life’s a bowl of wedgies
8.       Britt at Peace B.E.G.A.N
9.       Jocelyn at Room to Think
10.    Dee at Trip the light
11.    Sian at Waiting for our miracle
12.    Kitty at Wannaby Mommy
13.    Jess at When the music fades
14.    Elize at Where’s my bun?
15.    Cstelle at Zero Guarantees

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More dreams:

I’ve been dreaming about pregnancy again, at least twice since the last time I blogged about it.  The last one was this morning.  I can’t remember the details, but I’m pretty sure I was pregnant in my dreams.  So it seems to be improving, last time wasn’t even sure that I was pregnant.  It also didn’t upset me this week – I felt happy when I woke up.  Maybe the difference was that this time in my dream I was not confused and longing to be pregnant, and maybe that is why I was happy compared to the other dreams…

I found this amazing website today with some incredible healing testimonies and there was something that struck me in one.  It was about this woman who was sick for 45 years and even though she was a Christian and believed in God’s healing power she could not be healed from this condition.   I heard something that struck a chord with me.  There is this one part where they finally realized why she wasn’t getting her healing.  They said, “she might have heard it, and she might have believed it, but her physical problem was more real in her heart, and she still saw herself as ill.”  She couldn’t see herself healed and that’s why she wasn’t seeing results.

That made me think – this past week I’ve had a few instances where I would lay hands on Shumi and suddenly I would get so overwhelmed that I felt like I could just burst out in tears, but not tears of sadness, tears of joy!  I would suddenly say to Shumi, “You know what?  You are healed!  You are not going to die!  You are going to have a full lifespan, and you are going to see our children and play with them and enjoy them like you enjoy other people’s children!  The price was paid, in full!  You are healed!”

Or I would spend some quiet time with God, praying and talking to Him and suddenly I would get that feeling again – I would feel like I can shout for joy and cry for joy at the same time!  It is done!  We are healed!  I know it was the Holy Spirit and I couldn’t help myself!

Well, now that I think about my dreams I wonder if it’s not an indication of what is going on deep down inside me.  A few months ago I had to correct my thoughts every now and then, when I realized that deep down inside me it was difficult to believe that God can make me pregnant without any help from the doctors, or any medication.  I could not see it happen naturally.  I was hoping and believing at times, but not all the time.  But lately I think I’m starting to accept that it can become reality, and maybe that is why I’m dreaming so much about it?  Maybe I’m allowing myself to dream about it because I am starting to believe more and more that it will become my reality…

I think in my heart I’m starting to see myself pregnant…

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Counting blessings:

Yesterday DH and I went for a walk around the estate that we live. Shumi and Nandi came along, but KT was not at home. We found this boy wandering around, but we did not know who he was. He definitely does not live here. First he tried to touch Shumi, but he seemed a bit afraid. Then he wanted to touch Nandi, and she was happy to let him touch her, before she ran off. A few minutes later this boy came to us to ask if we knew where the “little brown boxer girl” is. He said he had been looking for her all day (I’m sure this was an exaggeration, because it’s not that difficult to find KT!) He continued to tell us that he was here previously once and that day he spent the whole day playing with her.

I smiled then because I think I know who this boy is. One of our neighbours is a beautician and works from home. She once had a client visit her at 8h00 and it was this boy’s mom. This boy didn’t want to sit inside, so he went outside and found KT. When his mom was finished he enjoying playing with KT so much that our neighbour said his mom could leave the boy here, she would keep an eye on him (I guess he is about 10 years old) and the mom could come to fetch him later. That boy really spent almost all day here playing with KT and occasionally taking a break for something to eat or drink.

Fortunately I know where to look for KT and we soon found her and she was so happy to see this boy. He knelt down and she licked his ears and they were so happy to see each other. They both ran off immediately, the boy found a ball and they went crazy! Unfortunately about 5 minutes later the boy’s mom was finished and they had to go home. But the boy was happy and KT was happy. It really touched my heart that they enjoyed playing with each other so much. I’m so glad my dear KT could give a little boy so much joy. She is such a sweet dog!

She actually has a routine every day. It starts at about 5h00 every day. She visits almost everyone that lives here, and she spends time with them. Each of these people thinks she visits only them, but she goes from house to house. Everybody thinks she treats them as if they are special, but she treats everyone like that. She is really a blessing to many people and she is a blessing to us too. But just like KT, Shumi and Nandi are blessings to us too. They give us joy in so many different ways.

***

Then the other blessing that I’m grateful for today is my DH. Today 18 years ago (I can’t believe it) we met. Let me tell you the story:

I was almost 22 and DH was already 22.  A friend of mine from school met one of DH’s friends at gym and made a date with him. DH was part of a big group of friends from school and none of them had girlfriends (well, except for the one that made a date with my friend – long story, but I only found out months later he had a girlfriend), and this guy asked her to bring a friend with for his friends. Now, we all went to the same school, but DH and his friends were 1 year ahead of us. My friend and I knew who this group of guys were, their names and what they looked like, because my friend had a crush on one of them in school, but we never spoke to them.

When I first saw DH my heart literally skipped a beat. I could not keep my eyes off him. I thought he was so sexy. He didn’t speak to me at first because his one friend had a problem with his car and he was trying to fix it for him. I thought he was not interested. Later though when we went out, he did speak to me and from that moment on we were together for the rest of the night. He even took me home and asked for my phone number. But he didn’t have a pen and he had to memorize it. Only much later DH said he saw my long legs and that he fell for me immediately (I had a mini on – I’m 1.77 cm or 5 ft 10”).

I didn’t hear from DH the next day, or the day after which was Valentine’s Day. I thought he either forgot my number or wasn’t interested. But the day after Valentine’s Day he did phone and we went on our first official date. It turned out he felt awkward about Valentine’s day and didn’t know how to handle it, so that was why he only contacted me the day after. We have been inseparable ever since. Soul mates.

Quite a few people have commented on how close we are – how they can see we belong together, and that they wished they were in such a close relationship. Even just after we met one friend of DH told me that he could see that we were meant to get married (at that stage marriage wasn’t even brought up, or even thought about yet).

Today 18 years later I’m incredibly thankful that I met DH that day, and it rates as one of the best days of my life ever. Today I’m still as much in love with my DH as I was 18 years ago! I love you so much my darling husband!

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I have confidence in the Lord!

Thank you all for your messages of comfort with my last post.  I really am blessed by the people that read this blog.  And I must say God blesses me even more and I just want to share that with you.  I received “bad news” on Tuesday, but I did not see it as bad news.  I didn’t get upset or depressed or anything like that.  Why?  Because God is faithful and good.  God has comforted me so much with messages of hope all week long, that I cannot doubt that all this will work out for good.  I trust God completely.

That just shows you how much I have grown in the last few months.  There were times when I was frantic with worry, where I tried to make plans of my own to try and control the outcome of my own, Shumi’s, my mom’s or anyone else’s health…  Now I’m not even tempted to do that because I know they have been healed already.  The price was paid in full about 2000 years ago.  Nothing more can be done.  I am just waiting for proof of that healing.  I am waiting for God to complete the work He has started in us.  And I am waiting in anticipation!

I want to share some scriptures with you that have encouraged me so far this week.

1 John 4:17 (Amp):  “¹⁷In this [union and communion with Him] love is brought to completion and attains perfection with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him], because as He is, so are we in this world.”

Hebrews 11:6 (Amp):  “⁶But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out].”

The message that I basically heard this week was:  “never give up, be determined, keep strong in your faith and God will reward you for that.”

Now how can one get discouraged with that?

***

My mom says her meeting with the new Radiologist (I think that is what he is called) went well, he thinks she might only have to get 10 or maybe 15 treatments and not 25 as the Oncologist suggested.  It sounds like he has experience with this specific problem my mom has and she has a lot more confidence in this new doctor than the previous one.  It also seems this doctor gets quite a lot of patients that switch from my mom’s previous doctor to him. 

My mom will be monitored after a few treatments to see how she responds and the treatment will be adjusted accordingly.  (Something that the other doctor never did)  Obviously my mom is happy, because it seems better than originally suggested.  Also she will begin with treatment soon, last time she had to wait about 2 months before they could fit her into their schedule, and with this doctor it won’t take so long.  She has one appointment on Monday already to start the planning process and she will hopefully find out then when they will actually start with the treatments. 

Last time my mom went for radiation she went from Monday to Friday for 5 consecutive weeks, and I think this time will be the same except it will hopefully only be 2 or 3 weeks. 

I am not worried at all; I am confident all will go well and that God is in charge!  Jesus holds the keys to death and I know he will not allow the devil to kill my mom, “G” or Shumi…

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Not what we wanted to hear…

My mom went to her oncologist again today for the results of her PET scan and it was not the news we had hoped for.  It seems that the Para-aortic glands are bigger than in December when she went for a CT scan and that is not a good thing.  They cannot say whether it is cancer or not, but the glands are not supposed to get bigger.  I have mentioned before that they cannot operate, firstly because it’s too dangerous, it’s too close to her aorta, and secondly if it is cancer and they cut there, it will makes the cancer worse.  It helps to spread the cancer and they don’t want that. 

Chemotherapy is also out of the question because of the bad reactions my mom had last year so the only other option left is radiation.  She will see another doctor tomorrow for that and it seems that she will need to go for another 25 treatments.  We will hear tomorrow what the final plan will be. 

My mom’s blood tests are still perfect so they don’t indicate cancer, but once again there is a contradiction and they don’t want to take chances.  Last time my mom went for radiation a year ago there was a lot of damage done to her intestines and her bone marrow, so I hope this time with the new radiologist it will be better.  I also hope that this will be the last treatments that she need.  These cancer treatments are torture in itself and it’s not nice to see a loved one going through it.  It’s now 15 months since my mom’s first cancer diagnosis and I had hoped that she would be totally cured by now…

Her spirits are good though – she is positive and willing to fight this no matter what it takes.  She is not wallowing in self pity and she certainly does not complain.  Please pray that she will soon get a clean bill of health…

In other news, I also saw my friend “G” again today and things are not too great with him.  Remember I wrote about his cancer here and here.  For the last year he had 2 operations in his face for cancer and 1 operation for prostate cancer.  It seems that even after his last operation, which was not that long ago, that the cancer is back again.  The doctors have told him he cannot get another operation and he cannot get radiation either.  So he is starting Chemotherapy tomorrow.  He was actually supposed to get it last Friday, but his medical aid rejected the treatment as it is too expensive. 

The treatment that his oncologist wanted to give him costs R60 000 (approx $8 370 US) per chemo drip and he has to get 10.  That works out to R600 000 ($83 700).  His medical aid covers only R200 000 ($27 900), which my mom says is the same coverage she has.  He can obviously not afford to pay the balance himself, so his oncologist had to get a different, cheaper treatment for him. 

I don’t know if this cheaper treatment will be good enough, it is not his oncologist preferred treatment and it is actually not a drip of chemo, but chemo pills.  He says his doctor is confident that it will help and I hope that it is true.  This poor man has been through so much in the last 24 years or so that he has had this cancer and I must say even though he has been through much, his faith is still strong, and he has such a close relationship with God.   He still wants to reach out to others that need help even though he needs just as much help.  It would be really awesome if he could beat the cancer for once and for all now.  I’m praying hard that he will also be completely healed soon; please keep him in your prayers too…

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Obedience to God:

I wanted to write about obedience to God for about a week now, but I’ve been struggling.  For a little while now I’ve been getting messages on this topic and even in my quiet times I’ve heard the word “Obedience” in my head.  So I know that God is trying to tell me something, but most of the messages were just snippets, nothing that I could write a whole post about, but I think I got it last night, suddenly I realized how I could write this so that you can understand the message I want to convey. 

Genesis 12:1-4 (NIV):  “¹ The LORD had said to Abram, Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.  ²I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. ³ I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.  ⁴So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran.”

God asked Abraham to leave his country and family, leave everything that was dear to him and go to an unknown destination, and Abraham went where God asked him to go.  I don’t think we realize just how much God asked of Abraham, the implications and how hard it must have been.   I mean, just think about it, say God asks something like that from you today…  Would you know it was God and would you be obedient?  What would everyone else say to you, if you should believe it comes from God, and you tell them about it?  I’m sure Abraham must have received a lot of criticism and opinions, but he listened and followed God.

Genesis 13:6-11 (NIV):  “⁶ But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together.  ⁷ And quarrelling arose between Abram’s herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time.  ⁸ So Abram said to Lot, Let’s not have any quarrelling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers.  ⁹ Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.  ¹⁰ Lot looked up and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, towards Zoar. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.)  ¹¹ So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out towards the east. The two men parted company:”

Abraham was not totally obedient to God however, God told him to leave “your people and your father’s household,” but he took Lot with him, who was his nephew, his father’s brother’s son.  They were so blessed that the land that God promised to Abraham became too small to hold both of them and for the sake of peace Abraham told Lot to choose a part – there was the fertile valley and the mountains to choose from and what did Lot do?  He chose the best – the valley, for himself and left the mountains for Abraham!  That’s was not nice and very ungrateful from Lot!  I mean – Abraham should have and could have left him in Haran. He would not have been in that situation if it was not for Abraham.  But I love Abraham’s attitude!  He did not complain or even harbour any bad feelings towards Lot.  He was happy to take the mountains!

I wonder if Abraham thought of Lot almost like a son.  Lot was certainly the closest family he had.  I know in my life some of our family members say that I am my niece’s “second mom”, because we are so very close.

Genesis 16:1-4 (NIV):  “¹ Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; ² so she said to Abram, The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her. Abram agreed to what Sarai said. ³ So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife.  ⁴ He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.”

Genesis 16:15-16 (NIV):  “¹⁵ So Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram gave the name Ishmael to the son she had borne.  ¹⁶ Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore him Ishmael.”

Genesis 21:8-13 (NIV):  “⁸ The child grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast.  ⁹ But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, ¹⁰ and she said to Abraham, Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that slave woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.  ¹¹ The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son.  ¹² But God said to him, Do not be so distressed about the boy and your maidservant. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.  ¹³ I will make the son of the maidservant into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”

We read four times about the promise of children to Abraham, but Sarah got impatient.  She got tired of waiting and decided to make a plan of her own.  She convinced Abraham to go ahead with this plan, and Hagar got pregnant with Ishmael.  This was quite a common practice in Biblical times and is equivalent to traditional surrogacy these days.  I have blogged about it previously and you can read about it here. 

But do you see that the plan of Sarah did not work out well?  There was tension between Hagar and Sarah, because Hager was able to do what Sarah couldn’t.  After Isaac was born Sarah convinced Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away.  God did bless Ishmael, because he also became the father to a nation, just not the “chosen nation.”  Ishmael eventually became the forefather of the Ishmaelites and today he is the forefather of the Mus.lims.

Genesis 21:1-5 (NIV):  “¹ Now the LORD was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did for Sarah what he had promised.  ² Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.  ³ Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him.  ⁴ When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him.  ⁵ Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.”

Isaac was what God had originally planned for Sarah and Abraham.  And it was a great plan that worked out perfectly.  But can you see from the first scripture that I quoted that Abraham was 75 years old when he first got the promise of a son?  Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was eventually born, so it took 25 years for that promise to become reality.  That is a long time to wait on and trust God.

Now I can totally understand that Abraham and Sarah got impatient and I’m sure a lot of us would have made the same mistakes.  Probably all of us, I think…  I know I am tempted every day to take matters in my own hands and to try and make a plan of my own.   It is totally human to do that, but it’s not God’s original plan.  God’s original plan was so much better than what Abraham and Sarah could plan on their own.  Even the situation with Lot didn’t work out well, again because Abraham was disobedient to God. 

I have certainly tried many times to make my own plans and to be honest none of them worked out.  I still don’t have children of my own and now I cannot make my own plans anymore.  God has put it on my heart to stop trying to control or plan things and to just trust Him.  God has shown me through the story of Abraham and Sarah that He has a plan, and that His plan is so much better than any plan I can ever make.  He wants me to be obedient to Him and trust Him.  I believe that God’s promises will come true and if I step out in faith and trust God, His plan will come to fruition.  And I hope that, just like Abraham, that God will bless us richly too, because that is what He wants to do for His children…

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