Bits and pieces…

Today a year ago we found out I was pregnant.  I was really dreading this anniversary coming up, but now it’s not such a big deal anymore.  I guess the blow is softened by the fact that I’m pregnant again.  But I could have been pregnant anyway with number 2 now, and that is sad.  I know having children about a year apart is  not ideal, but possible.  My sister and I only differ with almost 14 months, and my parents have always said that it was a bit rough having 2 babies so close together, but only for about 2 years or so and then we kept each other busy.  And we are actually very close, because we are so close in age…  So we loved it!

I am going for my second Intralipid drip today.  I want to explain why here – yes, I believe that God healed me completely and that I actually don’t need any medication, but I had spotting on the same day I found out what my second beta was.  It started already before I went for the blood test and I phoned the sister at our clinic at 7am, to tell her about it.  She suggested that I test my progesterone level as well, and it was 37.  They say that it was fine – that they wanted it to be more than 30, but that the FS felt that it would be safer to take
Utrogestan (progesterone) and get 3 Intralipid drips, each 2 weeks apart, so at 4 weeks, 6 weeks and 8 weeks.

I decided to go for it as the main reason was to keep me from worrying. I had heard a teaching from An.drew Wom.mack not long before, about faith and there he said that it is possible to have faith, but at the same time doubt.  Now doubts, worry and stress are how you give the devil power over you. He compared it to having 2 horses of the same size and strength and to put a rope on each one and have them pull that rope into opposite directions.  The end result will be that those horses will get nowhere, because they are equally strong.  Their strength is cancelled out and they will stand still.  If you have faith and you doubt at the same time you will see no results of your faith.  The doubt or worry will cancel it out.

So although I believe I am healed, neither the progesterone nor the Intralipid drip will be harmful, but it will keep me from stressing and worrying whether I actually need it or not.  I decided that it’s worth it just to keep my mind at peace.  Also I really don’t believe medicine, doctors and medical interventions are taboo.  God’s way is best obviously, because some medications or treatments can have side effects or harm you, and the doctors are human and can make mistakes.

Like my mom for instance – she wanted to go for the radiation and chemo, she believed that God would heal her that way, and I will never discourage someone from doing treatment like that, but she did get damage in her colon from her first radiation.   Now we have to believe that God will heal her colon, because the doctors say it is almost impossible for the colon to heal itself with that kind of damage, and there is no medication that will help. But there might be people who believe God can heal them completely from cancer and they might refuse chemo and radiation and their faith might be strong enough to get healed and that is also OK!  See it all depends on what you have faith for…

On the pregnancy front the morning sickness has kicked in – I haven’t vomited, but I am so queasy and nauseous, and totally off most food.  Just the thought of food makes me feel ill, but I’m not complaining.  It’s actually comforting to me to have that constant reminder that I’m pregnant.  I’m also sensitive to smells, and o, so tired most of the time!  I want to go to bed earlier at night, I battle to get out of bed in the morning and I want to take a nap in the afternoon.  I don’t take a nap every day, it’s not possible, but I wish I could.

Shumi is also looking a bit better – he looks interested in things around him again.  He and KT are actually playing again and last night Shumi decided he wanted to play with DH and did he go bonkers!  He is getting some more sleep in during the day at least – we found that he is most comfortable lying on the couch – so he is allowed to sleep on the couch – one thing we never allowed before.   Anything to help him feel better…

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God’s Will:

So often people think or say that it might not be God’s will for someone to have children for instance.  I’m sure most of you can relate to that.  I know I wondered for many years if it’s God’s will for us to have children.  I also know some people say things like, “well, maybe it’s not God’s will for you to have a baby.”

An.drew Wom.mack says, “If it was just up to God’s will if we should have children or not then prostitutes, unwed mothers, drug addicts, people that would abuse their children, none of them would ever have children.  It is not God’s will for people to sin, so to conceive a child out of wedlock for instance, is also not God’s will.  If it was just up to God’s will and if God was directly controlling all of this, those people would never get pregnant!”

God gave power to us humans – authority over the earth.  Genesis 1:26 (NIV):  “²⁶ Then God said, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”  God also blessed us to have children.  Genesis 9:7 (NIV):  “⁷As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it.”

So it is clear that God gave us authority over all the earth, but that means that He has taken some of His authority away.  That means that He wants us to do certain things, that is our responsibility and He won’t interfere with those things where He has given His authority over to us.

If we humans co-operate with the natural laws, we will get pregnant and have children.  If a woman has intercourse with a man without using birth control most of the time she will get pregnant whether she is married or not, whether she would be a good mother or not, whether she abuses her body or not.

If we look in the Bible to Abraham, Sarah and Ishmael – Ishmael was not part of God’s original plan for Abraham.  He had a better plan, but they got impatient and made their own plan. God still blessed Ishmael after Abraham asked Him to, but Ishmael was never part of God’s plan.  So Ishmael should never have been born if everything works just according to God’s will.  It doesn’t mean that those children that are born outside God’s will, that God doesn’t love them or don’t want to bless them.

I think the opposite is therefore also true.  If children are born outside of God’s will then some people might not have children, although it was God’s will for them to have children.  I think a lot of infertile couples are missing out on babies that they were supposed to have had.  I know sickness, disease, infertility, miscarriages, etc are not part of God’s will, so I’m sure a lot of babies never get born, because for some reason the devil manages to steal, kill and destroy.  (John 10:10) I realize now that it was never God’s will for me to miscarry either of our 2 babies, so I believe that means that God had plans for those 2 babies of ours.

That is sad, incredibly sad.  I wish I could tell every single couple who are struggling to conceive that God wants them to have babies.  That God cannot wait to bless them, and that they must just receive it. That it’s not necessary to be miserable and long for children and have AF arrive month after month.  That  we don’t have to wait on God, because God is waiting on US!

It doesn’t matter what is wrong with you – nothing is impossible for God!  God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, and He is no respecter of persons and that all the same miracles that happened in the Bible is still possible today!

Yet a lot of people don’t believe any of that, and a lot of them are Christians, or they say they are, yet they don’t know God at all. They have been deceived by the devil so much, they believe all the religious lies that the devil has told them about, “Maybe it’s not God’s will for us to have a baby,”  or “God’s timing is perfect and I’ll get pregnant when God decides,” or “Maybe I need to learn a lesson first,” or ‘I’m waiting on God…”

When will you be desperate enough, or fed up with your situation and decide that enough is enough.  Only when I got to that stage, when I was willing to do anything for God, to humiliate myself publically if things  were not going to work out as I hoped, and trust God completely that He would come through for me – that was when I got my breakthrough.  You have to put your foot down and get to know God personally, learn what He wants for you and how He wants to bless you, and decide to stop letting the devil steal, kill and destroy.  As long as you allow the devil to get away with it, that is how long he will stick around. You have to get mad at the devil – An.drew Wom.mack calls it righteous indignation – we are in a war and as long as we don’t fight back we will lose the battle!

So it is up to you.  What are you going to do about it? Are you going to stop blaming God and do something about it?

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An Update On Shumi:

Shumi hasn’t been doing so well lately.  He’s had a lot of snot which blocked up his nose completely and because of that he’s been having trouble sleeping.  Because he doesn’t sleep well he is tired all the time, also he breathes better standing up, so he’s been falling asleep on his feet, and collapsing every now and then.   He’s lost a lot of weight too…

I tried to keep my faith strong, but when everyone tells you he seems to be declining its hard…  On Thursday I was getting desperate and I convinced DH to take Shumi back to the vet that took the x-rays last year.  I have to admit I was hoping and believing that Shumi would be miraculously healed by the time the x-rays would be taken, just like the 10 leprous men in the Bible who had to show themselves to the priest (Luke 17:12-19.)

That unfortunately did not happen.  But the vet was incredibly surprised to see that Shumi was still alive.   He checked his palate for soft spots and his face for lumps and there was nothing.  Apparently these kinds of  tumours grow through bone and will weaken the palate and make it soft, and grow to the outside and make visible lumps, but Shumi has nothing of this.  That encouraged us a lot.

Later the vet told us the tumour is still there, on the left side of his face deep inside his nose or nasal cavities, and it is bigger than last year. He tried to tell us it is bad news, but we just couldn’t see it that  way.  In 9 months the tumour has grown, but Shumi should have been dead a long time already, according to what I have read up on the internet and both the vets’ opinions.  The soft palate and the lumps on his face have not manifested, so we see this still as a miracle.  DH is as a matter of fact convinced that there might be a tumour, but that the cancer is dead.

I was so touched by one of our neighbours – they live close to us and this couple is one of those that Shumi and KT visit often.  While Shumi was still at the vet, they noticed he wasn’t home. They missed him, because he usually greets them when they come home.   So just before we left to go fetch Shumi they saw me and called me over.

The lady said that they have discussed matters and that they love Shumi so much, that he has been such a pleasure to them that if the vet should ever suggest any expensive treatments they will pay half of the cost – no matter what it would cost…  She had tears in her eyes when she said this to me…  Then she begged me that we must never move away, because she will just miss Shumi too much…

Shumi is such a gentle, loving dog that everybody just loves him.  This couple are not the only ones – there are people living with us in this estate that don’t like dogs at all, but everyone loves Shumi.  Everyone wants to know how he is doing and is worried about him.

I saw our vet yesterday, (the side of KT’s mouth was completely swollen, we think she was stung by some kind of insect) and they were also upset that Shumi’s tumour had grown.  They seem to think he might be nearing the end, but they haven’t seen him in quite some time.

People just cannot seem to understand that we still have hope for complete healing. Yes, we haven’t had complete success yet, but I dare say that we have had some success.  Coupled with the miracle of our pregnancy we still have a lot of hope.  We will not give up.  I know God wants Shumi healed, and that He
has done everything that needed to be done. Something is hindering complete healing, but I really believe that the course of the disease has been slowed dramatically, and we just need to get ourselves ready to receive the full healing.

I have always believed that I would be healed first (I might have been limiting God again,) because I felt that all the problems I’ve had were less severe than cancer.   So I’m still searching to learn more, so that Shumi can be healed completely. I hope the Holy Spirit will guide me to the right teaching or revelation soon! We need a second miracle now!

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This Is What He Did For You!

John 3:16 (NIV):  “¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

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Release Your Faith!

If you hear basically the same message more than once in one day, do you think God is trying to tell you something?  Well that happened to me on Monday.  Let me share the messages:

First I read in “Go.d’s Wo.rd He.als” By De.rek Prin.ce about Naaman:  “Do you remember the Old Testament account of Naaman?  (See 2 Kings 5:1-14)  He was the commander of the army of the king of Syria, but he was also a leper.  He heard through this slave girl, an Israelite, that there was this prophet in Israel who could heal him.  Naaman went to the king of Israel with a letter from the king of Syria, which said in effect, “Heal Naaman of his leprosy.”  The king of Israel became quite upset at this and said, “Who does he think I am to heal people?”  Elisha the prophet heard about the king of Israel’s reaction, and he sent a message to the king, saying, “Send him to me.  Let him know there is a prophet in Israel.”

So, Naaman went to Elisha’s door.  Like most wealthy and influential people, he thought he could come to God in a big way that would impress him.  He came with his chariot, with his horses, with silver, with gold, with ten changes of clothing, and many servants.  He had an idea in his mind of what miraculous healing would look like:  Elisha will come out and do something dramatic.  He will wave his hand over me, and I’ll be healed.  But the Holy Spirit knows just how and where to reach people.  And the Holy Spirit instructed Elisha, in essence, Don’t go out and pray for him.  Don’t show yourself too interested in him.  Don’t let him impress you with his wealth and his social position.  Just send a message:  “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and you will be healed.”

Have you ever seen the river Jordan?  Well, I was baptized in it on August 24, 1942.  It’s not a beautiful, romantic river.  It’s a muddy stream.  When I stood in it, I had to do all I could to prevent my feet from slipping on the mud at the bottom. 

Naaman looked at the Jordan and said, “That river?  That muddy stream?  Why, in my country, we have beautiful rivers that flow down from the mountains, pure and clear.  Are not Abanah and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all rivers of Israel?”  Naaman got angry and was about to stomp away in a rage.  But one of his servants said to him, “My father, if the prophet had told you to do something great, wouldn’t you have done it?  How much more, then, when he says to you, ‘wash and be clean’?”  Fortunately Naaman was wise enough to get the message.  So he stripped.  That also must have been a test of his humility, because he had to display his leprous flesh.  He went down to the river and dipped himself in it seven times. 

It is very clear from this passage in 2 Kings that, after six dips, there was no change whatever in Naaman’s condition.  How easy it would have been to say, “It doesn’t work!”  But he dipped the seventh time and came up healed. 

God demands obedience, and it’s your responsibility to obey.  Certainly it’s God’s responsibility to do His part of the work.  But if you don’t obey you have no claim on God.”

Later in the same book I read this part, which reminded me a bit of the first part I’ve quoted, it’s about the Israelites in the desert when they came to the bitter waters of Marah (Exodus 15:22-27):  “The Israelites began to complain and murmur against Moses.  Think of the noise of all those people complaining and murmuring at once!  Yet in the midst of the murmuring, one man – Moses – had the sense to pray.  And he got the answer.  Let me just say that when you are faced with a difficulty, you can either murmur or pray.  If you murmur, that is your choice, but it won’t help the situation.  If you pray, the Lord will show you the answer.

While the Israelites chose to complain about the bitter waters they encountered at Marah, Moses prayed, and the answer the Lord showed him was a tree.  When he cast it into the bitter waters, the waters were made sweet.  This is the healing tree.

The scriptures do not say that the tree healed the water.  In fact, I don’t believe that was the case.  I believe the supernatural power of God did the healing.  But Moses’ act of faith in casting in the tree unlocked this supernatural power.  This is a great principle in regard to God.  When you want His miracle-working power to operate, you sometimes have to perform a simple act.  The act, in itself, does not generate the power – but it’s the key that unlocks the power.

The prophet Elisha grasped this principle.  He faced a situation similar to what the Israelites had faced at Marah.  The waters in Jericho were bad, and they didn’t produce a fruitful soil.  When the inhabitants asked him to intervene, Elisha took a bowl of salt and cast the bowl of salt into the source of water, and the waters became sweet.  (See 2 Kings 2:19-22)  It wasn’t the salt that made the waters sweet – it was God’s miraculous power. 

Likewise when there were poisonous gourds in a pot of stew, Elisha took some flour and put it into the pot, and the stew was made healthy.  (See 2 Kings 4:38-41)  It wasn’t the flour that made the stew healthy – it was God’s miraculous power.

When Elisha wanted to raise a boy from the dead, he ordered that his staff be put on the child’s face.  (See 2 Kings 4:8-37)  It wasn’t the staff that held back the power of death. But it was God’s miraculous power!”

Later we watched a program from Joy.ce Me.yer and there was the same theme in that program.  Let me quote just a bit from it, the message is about the resurrection of Lazarus:  

“John 11:37-44 (Amp):  “³⁷But some of them said, Could not He Who opened a blind man’s eyes have prevented this man from dying?

 ³⁸Now Jesus, again sighing repeatedly and deeply disquieted, approached the tomb. It was a cave (a hole in the rock), and a boulder lay against [the entrance to close] it.  ³⁹Jesus said, Take away the stone. Martha, the sister of the dead man, exclaimed, But Lord, by this time he [is decaying and] throws off an offensive odor, for he has been dead four days!   ⁴⁰Jesus said to her, Did I not tell you and promise you that if you would believe and rely on Me, you would see the glory of God?  ⁴¹So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, Father, I thank You that You have heard Me.  ⁴²Yes, I know You always hear and listen to Me, but I have said this on account of and for the benefit of the people standing around, so that they may believe that You did send Me [that You have made Me Your Messenger].  ⁴³When He had said this, He shouted with a loud voice, Lazarus, come out!  ⁴⁴And out walked the man who had been dead, his hands and feet wrapped in burial cloths (linen strips), and with a [burial] napkin bound around his face. Jesus said to them, Free him of the burial wrappings and let him go.”

Lazarus happened to be a good friend of Jesus.  Jesus frequently went to Mary, Martha and Lazarus’ house, and ate with them.  They had seen Jesus do many other miracles but he let his good friend Lazarus die. 

Why was Jesus sighing and being deeply disturbed in his Spirit at what they were saying?  Because He wanted to see faith, He didn’t want to hear how they could not understand why He hadn’t done anything.  He wanted them to believe that no matter how bad the situation was that he still could do something.  Somebody in here needs to hear that tonight.  That no matter how bad the situation is…  God justs wants you to believe, because He can very well still do something.  Without faith it is impossible to please God!

We started talking last night that faith needs to be released – to have it is one thing, to use it is another.  If you have a muscle you don’t use it begins to get weak and it shrivels, if you don’t use faith to all intends and purposes it’s going to be no different to you not having it.  Unto every man is given a measure of faith – we all have faith.  Every time you sit in a chair it takes faith, you believe it won’t cave in.  By and large when you sit in a chair, you just go plop down in the chair, you don’t worry if something will happen, if it will break or not…

I just wish that when we have a problem we could just plop into Jesus’ arms like that and say, “I’m asking You to take care of it and I believe You will, I’m releasing my faith through my prayer, I line my mouth up with Your promises and I’m going to do whatever You ask me to do, and You will do the rest!  Let me tell you, I don’t want you to ever forget this, if you do what you can do, God will do what you cannot do!

Releasing you faith requires some kind of action!  When you pray you need to release your faith, when you give you release your faith with your gift and you need to make sure that you are lining what you say up with what you pray.  It doesn’t do one bit of good to say, “O, God! I pray in Jesus name that you will deliver my husband from drinking and you would save him Lord, and you would change him and that our marriage would be healed.  Amen!”  And then go out to lunch with sister Brown the next day and say, “I’m telling you what, that man is never going to change… I mean, I’m sick and tired of the way he acts, drunk all the time, he won’t ever get saved, there is no hope…”  Don’t tell me we don’t do that because we do!  We just get a whole bunch of this religious stuff, sometimes I think we say things to God just to hear ourselves sound spiritual.  Maybe you need to say less and mean every word that you say, and make sure that you are releasing your faith and understanding what that means.  That if you are going to pray in faith you’ve got to stay in faith!

So here Lazarus had died, and they are bothered about the situation that he died, because they had sent a message that he was sick and Jesus waited 2 more days before He went.  He waited to let him die…  “Well if you would have been here!”  And He went, “Arghhh, you just don’t get it!” 

There was a boulder in front of the cave and Jesus said, “Take away the stone.”   Let me just ask you a question, if He was getting ready to raise the guy from the dead, which was an outrageous miracle because you’ll see in a minute, like, “What’s the point in that, he’s been dead four days, he going to really put off an odour…”  But if Jesus was going to raise the guy from the dead, which he already full knew he was going to do, why in the world didn’t He just blow the stone away?  Why did He tell them to move the stone?  See some of you are not getting your miracle because you are not moving your stone. 

There is a wonderful place in the Bible where Mary wanted Jesus to do a miracle, it was actually really an everyday practical thing, they were at a wedding, they ran out of wine and Jesus was going to whip up some more.   She turned to the servants there and said, “Whatever He says to you, do it!”  I love those few words!  Can I say to you, “Whatever He says to you, do it!”  They got the miracle, but they wouldn’t have if they hadn’t done what He said! 

You’ll get your miracle too if you do what He says, but if you’re not doing what He says then you’re not doing what you can do, because He will never give you something to do what you cannot do, it maybe something that you don’t want to do, it may be something you won’t like to do, it may be something that will be a bit of a struggle for you to do, but God will never, ever give you anything you cannot do, so stop telling Him you can’t do it and just do it!

If you do the little bit that you can do, God will always come through and do the part that you cannot do!”

Matthew 7:7-8 (Amp):  “⁷ Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you.   ⁸For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened.”

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Healing methods of Jesus

I bought a new book today. Actually I want to give it to my friend G, who has cancer, to help him. I went to our local Christian book store and asked for a book about faith healing. At first they didn’t really understand what I wanted – then they started to bring me books about herbs and spices and natural stuff that help with healing, but eventually they brought me the book Go.d’s Wo.rd Hea.ls by Der.ek Prin.ce. To make sure that the book is giving the message I want G to hear, I read it today. There were a few good points in there that I haven’t heard before and I want to quote a bit from the book for you:

“Jesus healed people in crowds who followed Him:
I believe most of us have a very incomplete picture of the ministry of Jesus when it comes to healing. We envision Him healing people mainly on an individual basis. He certainly did this, but He also often healed large numbers of people at the same time. What Jesus did was to choose a place and time, get everybody who wanted healing there, and do the job from beginning to end. In many cases, He required people to follow Him for several days before He ministered to their physical needs.

The following are some clear examples of this method of ministry employed by Jesus. The first is in Matthew 12:14-15 (NIV):  “¹⁴ But the Pharisees went out and plotted how they might kill Jesus.  ¹⁵ Aware of this, Jesus withdrew from that place. Many followed him, and he healed all their sick,”

Whom did Jesus heal? The multitudes. But what had they done first? They had followed Him. They were not healed where they were. They had to move to an unknown destination, following Him until He chose to stop and begin the ministry of healing.

Jesus healed people who had no other options:
Next look at the first part of a passage from Matthew 15: 29-30 (NIV): “²⁹ Jesus left there and went along the Sea of Galilee. Then he went up on a mountainside and sat down. ³⁰ Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them.”

Imagine carrying a paralyzed person up a mountain! You either had faith by the time you got to the top, or you didn’t get there. Then the passage says:  Matthew 15:31-32 (NIV): “³¹ The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel. ³² Jesus called his disciples to him and said, I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.”

Jesus had conducted a three-day healing service, and there was no refreshment. Please understand that we are talking about a totally different level of commitment. I can understand this very well, having ministered in the Third World. The people didn’t have any options. There were no hospitals. There was no malaria medicine. There was no vaccine against typhus or measles. Their options were minimal. It was Jesus or nothing.

Jesus healed those whose hearts cried out to God:
Against that background I want to relate one last incident from Matthew 15 that provides another dimension to Jesus’ healing ministry.

Matthew 15:21 (NIV): “²¹ Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.”

Jesus had been to Galilee, and then He went to Tyre and Sidon. We have already seen that the return journey must have taken three or four days. So Jesus went from Galilee to Tyre and then back from Tyre to Galilee. The New Testament records only one thing that He did in Tyre. One thing only. There is no reason to believe He did anything else. What we find is that Jesus gave more than one week of His ministry for the sake of one woman.

Matthew 15:21-28 (NIV): “²¹ Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. ²² A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession. ²³ Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us. ²⁴ He answered, I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel. ²⁵ The woman came and knelt before him. Lord, help me! she said. ²⁶ He replied, It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs. ²⁷ Yes, Lord, she said, but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table. 28 Then Jesus answered, Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted. And her daughter was healed from that very hour.”

It is helpful for us to see that Jesus did not heal only the masses. It is clear from this passage that He would spend a week of His precious ministry to go and visit one non-Jewish woman. What got Him there? The story doesn’t tell us, so I will just give you my opinion. I’ve learnt in my ministry there is such a thing as the cry to God of a desperate hart. I believe that cry does not go unanswered.

Often I would find myself in places where I said, “God how did I get here?” The conclusion that I came to on such occasions was that there was a heart crying out to God that would not be denied. God will change all of history to meet a person like that at the point of ministry. Isn’t He wonderful?”

*Ps. If you want to make use of the resources in my previous post, I think you should go check in every now and then. That list is going to updated every time I get a new resource that will help. I have updated it once already and I know of more things I want to put on there!

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You can get pregnant too!

I just want to stress again that you can get pregnant too, and therefore I want to share the books and teachings that helped me the most to get where I am today.  For those who have been following my blog for a long time, you will see that I have mentioned most of these resources previously, but now it’s all in one post.

1.  Supernatural Childbirth – Jackie Mize
2.  Divine Healing Technician – John G Lake Ministries (Curry Blake)
3.  God’s Plan for Pregnancy – Nerida Walker**
4.  Hannah’s Victory Website
5.  Christian First Aid Kit – Andrew Wommack Ministries
6.  New Man Seminar –  John G Lake Ministries (Curry Blake)
7.  God Wants You Well – Andrew Wommack Ministries
8.  Blessings and Miracles – Andrew Wommack Ministries
9.  How to Receive a Miracle – Andrew Wommack Ministries
10.  Spiritual authority – Andrew Wommack Ministries
11.  Don’t Limit God –  Andrew Wommack Ministries
12.  You’ve Already Got It – Andrew Wommack Ministries
13. How to Become a Water Walker (Lessons in Faith) – Andrew Wommack Ministries
14. Are You Ready For Your Healing?  –  Dr Fred Childs
15. God’s Word Heals – Derek Prince

 
** I haven’t read this book because I haven’t been able to get hold of it, but I have read Nerida Walker’s website, blog and I’ve seen video’s of her on You Tube and I’m sure it will be of great help to those that can get hold of it.

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I am pregnant!

God is so good, faithful and absolutely almighty!  I am so thankful to Him for this amazing blessing!  I want to say miracle, but I recently learnt that blessings are better than miracles, so I guess technically the correct term is blessing.  You have all followed me on this journey, you know I have believed this will happen and it did!  This has given me a lot more hope for full and complete healing for Shumi too!

Yes, it’s true!  I am pregnant and it happened all naturally!  The only medication DH and I took was folic acid and evening primrose oil capsules.  Nothing else!  No help from any doctor!  It happened entirely naturally!  It just proves that God is almighty and faithful!  We are absolutely ecstatic!

It’s almost a year ago that I got my first ever BFP with the help of our fertility clinic and IVF, but this time I got my BFP naturally.  So after 11 and a half years, 8 IUI’s, 3 fresh IVF’s and 1 FET and at the age of 40, I got pregnant naturally because I finally found out that infertility is not God’s will for us and that He actually blesses His children with fertility in the Bible!  God has healed me!

This cycle I had probably the best CM ever, (6 consecutive days) and I ensured that we BD’d (sorry TMI) for 6 days out of 7 over ovulation period.  I figured that is the environment that keeps the sperm alive for the longest so I might just as well take advantage of it.  I must say one thing that was different this month was that I knew I was pregnant, I didn’t believe it anymore, I knew it.  That is why I started testing at 10dpo (10 days past ovulation) already and I got my first very faint positive that day!  (I admit I was a little surprised to get that feint second line, but not as surprised as you might think!  I think I just mentally prepared myself that the first one might be negative, but I expected a positive eventually.)   I’ve never, ever tested as early as that before!  Lately I’ve been getting braver, and the last few months I started to test at 12dpo, but those tests were always negative. 

At 11dpo (Monday morning) I convinced DH that I must go for a blood test.  The tests were so feint that DH didn’t want to believe that I might actually be pregnant.  But I POAS again and the line was darker than the day before.  I had to wait more than a day for the results (awful and extremely stressful!) but eventually I got a beta of 50.  The sister at our clinic was a bit apprehensive about the number, I told her it was only 11 dpo, but she still insisted that I go for a second beta and that it must double. 

So 13dpo (today) I went for a second blood test and the beta came back 195.  Almost 4 times as much!  The sister sounded so surprised, but ecstatic for our part.  I’m not sure whether she believes I got pregnant naturally or not, she keeps asking me if it was the case.

So what did the trick?  It took quite a few months to get pregnant, since I heard the first life changing message.  I’ve learnt so much, but I think the most important lessons were:  That it’s not God’s will for us to be infertile or have miscarriages, I also learnt that God was waiting on me, and not that I was waiting on God.  God was waiting for me to get ready, to change and to be able to receive.  I had to learn to believe and to stop doubting, I never knew that you can do both at the same time (that’s a post I must still write!).  I learnt that I was limiting God, especially with fear, but also with my thoughts, and I had to learn to see myself pregnant (I’ve only been doing that for about 2 weeks!)  I learnt that the devil is a defeated foe and that the only power he has is to lie (deceive us) and once you believe his lies you give power to the devil.  If you know the truth then you won’t believe his lies, and then he has no, none, nada power over you!   And I don’t know if this was significant or not, but I realized I can be happy without children. 

Although I’m pregnant now I know God healed me progressively, which is not God’s best by the way, but I guess my faith was not such that I could believe in immediate healing.  I have mentioned in previous posts that things got better over time.  That pain disappeared eventually, that my CM got better over time, that my cycles go a bit longer again and that my spotting got better at the end of each cycle, etc.  God heals according to at what level our faith is.  It took me quite some time, but someone else might get healed immediately and be pregnant a month, or two weeks later, or it might take someone a few months or years.

I guess what I’m saying is this can also happen to you, because believe me, there is nothing special about me, and it doesn’t need to take the time it took me, it all depends on where your faith is at.  Please know that nothing is impossible with God.  I have heard stories of miracles happen where a man grew back a foot after his was amputated, and of someone who had to grow new lenses in their eyes and being healed from blindness, so even if you have no more tubes for instance, God can heal you and get you pregnant naturally!  No matter what is wrong with you, nothing is impossible for God, but you must believe it is possible!

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So how was I limiting God?

Let me discuss all the limitations I put on God.  Some of them I only got revelation on when I listened to the teaching of An.drew Wom.mack (see previous 3 posts) but some of it I learnt a while ago already from other sources.  If you are a regular reader of my blog since the start you will recognize some of the older revelations as they have been mentioned before.  At that stage I didn’t realize consciously that I was limiting God, I just learnt that I could influence things by changing my attitude, or my behaviour.

The first big thing I did wrong was by feeling that I will never get pregnant.  Not naturally or with the help of any FS.   Especially when the IVF’s were are failing.  I didn’t consciously think – I will not get pregnant, I was always hopeful, but those thoughts crept into my mind often.  I remember when I went to my first FS – the sister there was measuring my height and weight, taking my blood pressure, etc and she said, “don’t worry you will get your baby.”  The first thought that jumped into my head was, “no, it will not happen.”  I tried to change that thought off course, one never wants to think it, but I was actually a bit upset after she said it, and I couldn’t figure out why.  Let me tell you we weren’t even trying for a baby very long by then.  Not even a year, so to think those thoughts were totally ridiculous. 

Later I would think very often, “I am infertile and the only way I would get pregnant is with IVF.”  Why?  I don’t know.  I thought it was intuition or something like that, but now I recognize it as a lie from the devil.  Now I see that the way we think limits God.  If I think I cannot get pregnant, then I will not get pregnant, because my thinking limits God.

Thinking and what we believe are closely related.  What started out as thoughts soon changed into believing I could not get pregnant, especially after a few years passed.  The longer it took the more I believed.  Eventually I realized my mistake when I read the book “Super.natural Child.birth” by Jac.kie Mi.ze.  That was just before I had my last IVF.  I was able to believe that I could get pregnant, but only with the help of doctors and with specific medication like Intralipid therapy.  It worked – I did get pregnant, but unfortunately I miscarried. 

After my miscarriage I had to learn that I must believe that I can get pregnant, but without the help of doctors or medication.  It helped a lot to learn about God, who He is, what His will is and what Jesus has done for us.  In the mean time Shumi also got sick and I had to learn to believe that he will be healed from cancer.  It helped off course to listen to teachings like the Div.ine Healing Tech.nician from Cur.ry Bla.ke.

Even though I believed there were times of doubt and unbelief.  Times when things didn’t seem to be working, then I had thoughts of, “this is never going to work, or what if it doesn’t work?”  I must say in hindsight I can see that every now and then when things were going well, something might happen that would cause us to take a few steps back again and usually it was when I doubted, or was in unbelief.  I was still strongly moved by what I saw or heard, and the times when things seemed bad, I would waiver.  In those times I was tying God’s hands again until I was able to get some message of hope or faith, and then things would get better again.

In the beginning I was limiting God a lot with fear, fear of never having children or fear of Shumi dying.  I realized it was wrong, and even wrote a post about fear, but I didn’t realize exactly what else I was fearful about.  Last week I had a dream, or rather almost a nightmare, where I woke up in the early hours of the morning and suddenly I saw clearly what some of my other fears are. 

Fear of success:  I realized that if I get pregnant and Shumi is totally healed, then this supernatural healing is a huge responsibility.  I would have to help every single person I know, I get into contact with and actually go out and seek others to lay hands on them and get them healed, because if I don’t then it would be my fault if they are in pain, don’t get healed or even die. 

Fear of failure:  Not only a fear of not having children or that Shumi might die, but also that if I do try to help others and I fail, they might get upset with me, or worse they might not believe in God.  A fear that I could actually cause other people to not get saved, or to believe that God is not real. 

Fear of rejection and criticism:  This one is especially hard and I am mostly talking about people I care about.  Like our friends and family and our church.  I am fully aware that most people don’t believe in this stuff, and that they might think I lost my marbles.  I’m also scared they would want nothing to do with me.  Many preachers I have listened to have said that they were rejected by their church, so I know that is a real possibility.  I’m not worried so much about what strangers think of me, or whether they reject me. 

Fear of the unknown:  If I do get over all the other fears and I am successful then I guess I’ll have to change my life completely and that unknown factor is scary.  I’m starting to realize that God might have an amazing plan for my life, which I never would have thought possible, but that would definitely put me out of my comfort zone.  It will take a lot of courage to be obedient to follow God’s leading on this, but I am in a situation where I’m basically at rock bottom.  I’m not willing to give up my dream of having children or letting Shumi go, so I guess that means study, study, study God’s Word and learn as much as I can, and God is also leading me to start to lay hands on others (here comes fear of rejection again!)

The last thing that I learnt about limiting God is that I have to start seeing myself pregnant and to start seeing Shumi completely healed.  That was something I could never do, even after my pregnancy last year.  I would hope that I would get pregnant or that Shumi get’s healed, but I couldn’t see it.  So I’m taking time out every day to imagine these things. 

Some of these things are in the past.  I have learnt and dealt with it and it’s not a problem anymore.  Some things I think are sorted out but every now and then I have to deal with it again, and others I still have to sort out.  But I am working on it, and by God’s grace, I’m sure I’ll be able to conquer it soon.

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Limiting God (Part 3)

This is the final post on the teaching of An.drew Wom.mack called: Don’t limit God.

“Be obedient to what God is telling you:

Isaiah 1:18-19 (NIV):  “¹⁸Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.  ¹⁹ If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land;”

The Lord is going to ask you to do things and there will be steps and stages in what God leads you to do.  He won’t take you from where you are into the perfect fulfilment of His will all in one step.  There will be steps and stages and a lot of them are for your benefit.  God doesn’t want to give you the whole plan because if you didn’t obey and if you didn’t follow through that will just make you accountable for the whole thing.  Out of mercy Gods just leads you one step at a time and only gives it to you as you are able to bear it.  He told the children of Israel, “I’m not going to give you the whole land all at one time; I’m going to give it to you little by little, lest the beast of the field multiply and all of the fields go fallow.”  He says. “I’m going to let you occupy the land as you’re able to possess it and occupy it.”

It’s the same thing in the spiritual realm.  God is going to show you things step by step and there are going to be a lot of steps of obedience in you following the Lord and if you don’t do what God told you to do it’s going to stop His perfect will from coming to pass.  It’s not because God stops and says I won’t let you because you aren’t worthy.  None of us are worthy, none of us deserve anything, but it does take co-operation on our part.

1 Samuel 13:7-14 (NIV):  “⁷ Some Hebrews even crossed the Jordan to the land of Gad and Gilead. Saul remained at Gilgal, and all the troops with him were quaking with fear.

 ⁸ He waited for seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul’s men began to scatter.  ⁹ So he said, Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. And Saul offered up the burnt offering.  ¹⁰ Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him.  ¹¹ What have you done? asked Samuel. Saul replied, When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Michmash, ¹² I thought, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD’s favour.’ So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering. 

¹³ You acted foolishly, Samuel said. You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time.  ¹⁴ But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD’s command.”

Saul was established as king, Jonathan went out smote some of the Philistines, and because of that the philistines amassed their people together and they came down and it said in verse 5 that the Philistines gathered themselves together to fight Israel 30 000 chariots, 6 000 horsemen, people as the sand which is on the sea shore, in multitude and they came up and camped against them and because of this the Israelites were in big trouble. 

So Samuel the prophet, the one who anointed Saul to be king, and who was still basically mentoring Saul and had authority and control over him, he told Saul to wait 7 days and he would come and offer a sacrifice before the Lord and entreat the Lord’s favour from them and then they would go out to battle.  Well they waited the 7 days and Samuel was late in coming, so Saul decided to do the offering himself.  As soon as the offering was made, Samuel came. 

A lot of people would read that and think, “Well that’s not so bad!  He was in a bad situation and he just wanted to make sure that he had entreated the Lord!”  They excuse things and they explain it away, most people have situational ethics, it just depends on what the situation is like.  They don’t intend to do anything wrong, but you know what?  If you’re in a situation where you are under pressure and if things happen, it just happens…  You know, that’s the way most people think.  But there are absolutes and one of the absolutes is that if you’re going to take the limits of God and if you’re going to see God’s best come to pass, you need to just get to a place where there is only one God and you are not Him!  You do not have the freedom to pick and choose and decide I’m going to do this.  Saul was not qualified to offer a sacrifice, only priests could do that, but Saul let circumstances compel him to change, and as soon as he did it, Samuel showed up. 

Do you understand what Samuel told Saul?  We sing about David and talk about the sure mercies of David and Jesus being the son of David and all of these things.  If you know anything about the Bible, you know that David was a man after God’s own heart and yet Samuel is saying under the inspiration of the Lord that, “if you would have obeyed God today he would have established your kingdom over Israel forever.”  There never would have been a David.  David wasn’t God’s first choice.  David was an afterthought.  David was plan B.  Plan A was Saul.  Saul was in training, if he would have obeyed God, if he would have just cooled his jets another hour and have waited on Samuel to show up and would have just done what was right, I don’t care how much pressure he is under, it doesn’t matter if you’re fighting an enemy, it doesn’t matter what the justification is, just do what God told you to do!  If it kills you do it!  If he would have done that, we would have been talking about the sure mercies of Saul.

Start using your imagination:

That doesn’t sound very spiritual to a lot of people, but your imagination is a super important part of the way that God made you.  You cannot do anything outwardly that you haven’t already seen and imagined on the inside.  This is just the way that God made you.  As a matter of fact if you took the word imagination, there is 35 times that the Old Testament uses the word “yester”, it’s the word that is translated imagination 35 times in the Old Testament, and that word means, “a form or figuratively, conception.” The word imagination means conception. 

If you stop and think about it, but your imagination is where you conceive things.  Just like a baby has to be conceived.  A stork doesn’t bring babies.  You aren’t just going to pray that you’ll have a child; there are things that you are going to have to do to have to conceive that child.  I think all of us understand that. 

You have to conceive a miracle, you have to conceive the things of God and the scripture, the very word imagination, means conception.  Your imagination is your spiritual womb; it’s where you conceive things.  Brothers and sisters, most Christians don’t use their imagination in a Godly way.  We all have an imagination and we use it constantly but most Christian’s think that this is kind of weird and that you shouldn’t just be thinking and imagining things – you know, “Let’s deal in reality.”  You can’t do anything without your imagination. 

You imagination defined is just your ability to see something with your heart that you can’t see with your eyes.  That’s all an imagination is.  When you make a grocery list did you know you use your imagination?  You go up and down the aisles of that store because you’re familiar with it, you’ve seen it, and in your memory you over and go look around all of the fruit things and think, “I need this, and this and this,” and what you’re doing is you’re using your imagination.

You can’t remember anything without an imagination; you can’t think anything without an imagination.  If I say apple, you don’t see A-p-p-l-e, you see is an apple.  Some of you may see a red apple; some of you may see a green apple.  I could use words to change your picture, I could say, “red apple,” and immediately you would have to change the image that you’re looking at.  You think in pictures.   You can’t understand anything that you can’t picture.

A lot of Christians are missing it.  They have pieces of information like, “I’m more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus.  This is the victory that overcomes the world.  Thanks be unto God who always causes us to triumph,” they have that information they’ve heard those words and if you were to ask them, “Are you a winner?  O, yes I’m a winner,” but you know what they haven’t thought on it and meditated to the point that their imagination forms a picture of them being a winner. 

There are a lot of people who have this piece of information, “By His stripes I’m healed,” but they’ve never seen themselves healed.  See, they’ve just got information, but not understanding.  Their understanding hasn’t come alive.  I have told a lot of people this week that if you’ve been sick a long time, you see yourself sick.  You think sick, you dream sick, you don’t dream like normal people that go out and have a vacation and do something fun and find yourself running or something.  You’re sick in your dreams, you see yourself sick, you think sick.  And the scriptures say in Proverbs 23:7: “As a man thinks in his heart so is he…”

If you see yourself sick, you’re going to be sick, it doesn’t matter how many scriptures you know or how much information you have, you could have people lay hands on you until they rub all the hair of the top of your head and you’re going to be sick as long as you see yourself sick.  What you’ve got to do is take the word of God and meditate on it, not just take the information and “O, yes, by His stripes I’m healed.  I’ve heard that, now I’ve got it.”   No, you’ve got to take that and think until you see yourself healed.”

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