Happy New Year!

First off I want to wish all the readers of this blog a very blessed 2013 – may you receive all the abundant blessings that Jesus paid the full price for!  That is what I’m determined to receive this year, and I wish it for all of you too.

Then the next thing I want to do is share a message with you that I heard on the 30^th of December because it made a huge impact on me.  It is once again a message that I stumbled across – I was watching TV while DH was taking a very long nap and there was just nothing on the regular channels, and when I saw that Cref.lo Dol.lar’s program was on TBN, I decided to watch it as I wanted to see one of his programs for a while now, but somehow just never got around to recording one.  I believe the Holy Spirit was guiding me to watch this specific program…  Since I did not plan to watch it I did not record it, so I’ll have to tell this from memory, and I hope the message comes across as strong as I heard it…

Luke 1:26-38 (NKJV):  “²⁶ Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, ²⁷ to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. ²⁸ And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”

²⁹ But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. ³⁰ Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. ³¹ And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. ³² He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. ³³ And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”

³⁴ Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

³⁵ And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. ³⁶ Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is now the sixth month for her who was called barren. ³⁷ For with God nothing will be impossible.”

³⁸ Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.”

Just put yourself in Mary’s shoes here for a moment.  Just think how difficult it must have been to believe that what the angel said was true.  Never in all of history was a baby conceived without the act of intercourse with a man.  Even in today’s day and age it is generally thought to be impossible.  Any doctor will tell you so.  It’s just us Christians who actually believe that is what happened.  But Mary never heard of such a thing, yet she believed the angel Gabriel.

The angel Gabriel told her; “³⁷ For with God nothing will be impossible,” and she believed him.  More than that, she replied; “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.”  In Mary’s case God’s Word acted as a sperm and fertilized one of her eggs, because the Bible says in John 1:1-5: “¹In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ² He was in the beginning with God. ³ All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. ⁴ In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. ⁵ And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehendit.”  The Bible is speaking of Jesus here, calling Him the Word.

Now just think of all the impossible things in your life and this New Year start to believe for that.  Believe that all your debts would be paid off supernaturally, or that you will be miraculously healed of something that the doctors say cannot be cured.

“For with God nothing will be impossible.”

Do you think it’s impossible to fall pregnant?

“For with God nothing will be impossible.” 

Do you have a problem that makes it impossible to get pregnant naturally?

“For with God nothing will be impossible.”

Whatever your problems are insert them in here:   ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“For with God nothing will be impossible.”

³⁸ Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.”

Why don’t you insert your name here in verse 38; “³⁸ Then ……………… said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word,” and speak this verse out over your life.

Not only that, but go to God’s Word (the Bible) and see what it says about your specific problem and speak that over your life too.  Let God’s Word act like a “sperm” in your life too, like it did in Mary’s life, so that you too can become “pregnant” and receive the impossible in your life.

I’m sure your problem is not as impossible as what Mary had to believe for, but even if it seems impossible to you, stop limiting God, and just trust that He will take care of the impossible for you…

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Believing in healing for others:

Last night I was having some quiet time with God and I had this overwhelming desire to talk to Him about how it must grieve Him that we as Christians don’t walk in the victory He wants for us.  I felt that Jesus must be so sad that He made such a huge and terrible sacrifice for us, but most Christians have no idea of all He did for them.

I only found out less than 2 years ago about the atonement and what is covered by it.  Like most Christians I only knew that Jesus died for my sins, not that he took all curses upon Him, and that I don’t have to be cursed (Gal 3:13).  That by His wounds we were healed, so we don’t have to suffer with illness, pain or infertility (1 Peter2:24).  That Jesus delivered us from evil (Gal 1:4) and that God wants us to prosper (2 Cor 8:9).

Two true stories came to my mind, and I want to share it with you.

First, there is this couple we met quite a number of years ago who are Christians and have a wonderful personal relationship with God, but their daughter has this debilitating disease that I don’t think is curable according to the world’s standards.  I got the feeling that this couple, although they believe in God, they don’t believe that God can miraculously cure their daughter; instead they trusted completely in the doctors and medicine and prayed that she would somehow be healed that way.  I might be wrong, but that’s the impression I got from what they said and what they asked us to pray for.

This was long before I even knew about the atonement and that Jesus already healed us, but I just believed in my heart that miracles can still happen today.  I just felt that if it’s in the Bible and that other people in the Bible besides Jesus was able to heal then it should still be possible today.  One morning while I was praying I asked God that if the parents of this little girl could not believe that He can heal her, will it be enough if I believed in her miraculous healing?  Right after that I opened my Bible for Bible study and I got the answer.

The passage that I read was about the paralysed man whose friends had lowered him through the roof, because they could not get into the house Jesus was in.  Luke 5:19-20 (NIV):  “¹⁹ When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.  ²⁰ When Jesus saw their faith, he said, ‘Friend, your sins are forgiven.”  In my study Bible the explanation for these verses is the following:  “Jesus was not hit by the sick man’s faith, but by the faith of his friends.  He responded to their faith and healed their friend.”

Wow!  I cannot tell you how dumbstruck I was to get an answer immediately after I prayed.  I can happily say that this girl, last time I heard, was in remission according to her doctor.  I believe she is healed, but the doctors will probably not say it out loud.

The other story I want to tell happened a couple of months before I got pregnant with baby G.  I knew some truths, but not yet all, but I definitely knew that that God wanted to heal us and I knew the power of confessing God’s word, so I wrote on a piece of paper a whole lot of healing scriptures that I not only confessed over myself but also over other people.  After a week or so I knew most of what I wrote down off by heart so I only occasionally glanced at my list.

There was one lady whose blog I read who went through a really rough time with several IVF’s and I put her name on the list.  The only problem is I kept confusing her name with another lady, also someone whose blog I read, but she was in the process of adoption and had given up completely on IVF and TTC.  The only similarity in their names is that it starts with the same letter.  At first I did not realize that I kept on saying a different name, only after a few weeks, and then I still accidently sometimes slipped up and said the wrong name, but I usually corrected myself, when I realized what I did.

Well, much to my surprise the lady who was in the process of adopting miraculously got pregnant.  At first I was shocked, and a bit mad, because she was not a Christian, and here I believed for a miracle, but I wasn’t pregnant yet.  Then I thought; “What if it wasn’t a mistake on my part?  Maybe God wanted me to confess healing over her, and that it worked?”  I guess I’ll never know for sure, but I choose to believe that God did heal her and that is why she got pregnant.

After that I kept on confessing things over the other lady, at that stage I thought she deserved it more, as she is a Christian, and I’m happy to report that she too got pregnant, not from her IVF’s, but also miraculously when she least expected it and her baby has been born already.

As a matter of fact, when I thought back on it, there are only 2 ladies that were on my list that haven’t gotten pregnant yet.  All the others are either pregnant and far along or have had their babies already.  So last night I felt this strong compelling feeling that I must do this again and a number of names came to mind immediately, the original two and a quite a few new names.  I just knew that even though these people might not know what Jesus did for them, Jesus still cares about them, and the least I can do is to confess healing over them.  I really think this is what Jesus wants me to do and I’m already anticipating good news in a few weeks time!

So from today I want to concentrate again on all the people I know off who need healing and who long for a baby and confess healing over them.  If you want me to include you, please leave a comment or if you don’t want others to see your request you can send me an e-mail to marion.kmeoj@hotmail.com.

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Actively Receiving:

I cannot believe how faithful God is.  I’m not sure why I’m surprised, but I must say God has done some awesome things for us recently!  We are seeing things materialize that we have asked for and that is just awesome!  I read this scripture yesterday and I realized that I have asked and God has provided answers to my questions!  He is so awesome!

Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV):  “⁷ Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” 

I remember as a child my grandmother (my mom’s mom) always used to say, “Zoek en gij zult vinden,” which is Dutch for “seek and you will find.”  I didn’t realize then that she was actually quoting scripture to us, she used to say it to us a lot if we were looking for something, and I must say I have been irritating DH with that saying ever since we’ve know each other.  Every time DH is looking for something I say, “Zoek en gij zult vinden,” mostly because I hear my grandmother saying it in my head, but I never realized how God will use that regarding His Word!  I have asked, and received; I have looked and found what I was looking for…

Do you realize what the first part of verse 8 says?  Everyone who asks receives!  Wow, that is wonderful!  Everyone! Now I am fully aware that a lot of people will say, “But I haven’t received what I asked for!”  That is not God’s fault.  I’ve mentioned in my previous post that the devil can’t stop God, and that is because he was defeated by Jesus.  The devil has less power than God, and the only power he has is what we give to him.  I’m sure some people will not like what I’m saying, but to be honest, I don’t care, because sometimes we need to hear the truth.  It is time we take responsibility for our problems and stop blaming other people, our circumstances, the devil, or whatever excuses we like to think of…

I have touched on the fact of there being a spiritual world and a physical/natural world in this post, where the angel of the Lord told Daniel that his prayers were answered immediately in the spiritual world, but that it took time to manifest in the physical world.  With the help of mostly An.drew Wom.mack’s teachings I have realized that I need to receive the answers to my prayers in the physical world too. 

Now if you don’t believe there is a spiritual world I’ll prove it with Scripture.  2 Kings 6:15-17 (NIV):  “¹⁵ When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. Oh, my lord, what shall we do? the servant asked.  ¹⁶ Don’t be afraid, the prophet answered. Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.  ¹⁷ And Elisha prayed, O LORD, open his eyes so that he may see. Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all round Elisha.”

The King of Aram wanted to capture Elisha, and they surrounded the city where Elisha was.  When they woke up the next morning the servant of Elisha was afraid, because all he could see was the physical world and to him it seemed to be a terrible situation that they were in.  Then Elisha prayed that the servant’s eyes were opened to the spiritual world and he could see multitudes of horses and chariots of fire surrounding Elisha.  Their situation was not lost, even though it seemed to be so initially and we also need to learn that things might not be the way we perceive them. 

If we pray and ask for something, and it is according to God’s will and we pray in faith, God will give it to us.  How do you know what is God’s will?  Well, what does God say about it in the Bible?  The best is to pray God’s Word, and then you will sow God’s word as a seed.  If we sow the seed of God’s Word, and we believe those words, we will harvest those promises.  It will first appear in the spiritual world, but we need to receive it in the physical world. 

God’s Word must become real to us; we must know that it is true.  I almost want to say we mustn’t believe anymore, but it must be so much part of our reality that we know that what God says is true and that it will happen.  We mustn’t let our circumstances dictate what we believe anymore.  Even if things might not look good, we mustn’t let it affect us, because we must know that in the spiritual world God has made it happen already and that it is up to us to let it happen in the physical world.  Sometimes, like in Daniel’s case there might be demonic opposition, and then we must pray that God will deal with that on our behalf. 

God’s words are extremely powerful.  We must use them – God’s Word is one of the weapons of the spirit:  Ephesians 6:13-17 (NIV):  “¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

Mark 11:23 (NIV):  “²³ I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.”

Look at the above scripture.  I always heard:  If you do not doubt but believe, whatever you ask for will happen.  What I only realized recently was that Jesus says here, “if anyone says to this mountain…” and “…what he says will happen…”  It’s not just about believing and not doubting, it’s about saying God’s Word too!  That is how powerful God’s word is – saying it aloud can make things happen! 

This receiving that I’m talking about is not a passive act – something that just happens to you.  That is what I always thought it was, but it has not happened that way in my life.  Joy.ce Me.yer had a message about receiving blessings a while ago and there she used Jacob as an example and here you can see receiving is something you must actively do:

Genesis 32:22-30 (NIV):  “Jacob Wrestles with God  ²² That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.  ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions.  ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.  ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.  ²⁶ Then the man said, Let me go, for it is daybreak. But Jacob replied, I will not let you go unless you bless me.  ²⁷ The man asked him, What is your name? Jacob, he answered.  ²⁸ Then the man said, Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.  ²⁹ Jacob said, Please tell me your name. But he replied, Why do you ask my name? Then he blessed him there.  ³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

Jacob was a trickster, a liar, a thief.  He was not a very good person.  He tricked his brother out of his birthright, and had to flee for his life.  But at one stage he decided enough is enough and he would return to his land and his brother.  He could not take it anymore – he had enough of the fear and being in exile. So he decided to return and bring gifts to his brother in the hope that it would appease him.  On the way there Jacob took everything he owned and all that was dear to him and sent it across a stream called the Jabbok. 

Jacob stayed on the other side and during the night he wrestled with God.  Isn’t it weird to see that Jacob insisted that God bless him?  I don’t think I could have been so bold.  He was a bad person – how could he insist on it?  I would feel that way, that I don’t deserve blessings.  Yet that was what Jacob did and he actually received those blessings!  He didn’t walk away unscathed, but he did receive his blessings. 

Jacob’s story just shows how wonderful God actually is, he did not deserve the blessings, and because he was bold, he still received them.  God loves us so much that He does not give us what we deserve (punishment), Jesus took that upon Himself, but He gives us through His grace and mercy, what Jesus actually deserves (blessings).

So from now on I am going to be actively receiving God’s blessings, all He wants to give us and everything I have asked for…

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How do I keep my faith?

Theresa asked in a comment that I should write a post about how I keep my faith.  I am more than happy to comply with that request as I also very often have questions about similar issues and it’s not always possible to ask other people those kinds of questions.   So I know the frustration of wanting to know something and not necessary getting your questions answered.  So I will try my best to answer it as honestly, openly and accurately as possible.

Let me first say this:  I don’t have any special kind of faith.  My faith is based on knowledge and relationship: knowing God, who He is and what He wants and can do for us.  Once you learn about God, His love for us, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and what it all means it gets easier to have faith and to trust in God.  So in times when I waiver I look for comfort and help in God’s Word.   I pray to God to help me and to show me the way.  Sometimes I get answers quickly and easily.  Sometimes I need to look for it for a few days.  Sometimes I get an answer before I really know I need it.  Like this past Sunday in church – the minister spoke about patience and when I heard the message I realised I really needed to hear about it that day, because I didn’t consciously notice I was getting impatient again…  Getting all this knowledge takes time.  I put in a lot of hours of study and it literally took me months before I realized that what I learnt was what I believed, and what came out when I waivered.  I wrote a post about it here if you want to read about it.

Another thing:  I do sometimes waiver in my faith – I’m not a strong person that just believes in God all the time.  I had a big crisis of faith a few months ago and I even blogged about it here.  I also learnt there is a difference between doubting and being tempted by the devil.  At first I thought I was thinking wrong thoughts.  Later I learnt that is was the devil tempting me.  He tries his best to get me to give up.  I realised it while I was watching the movie the Pas.sion of the Chri.st.  In the opening scene they show Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane and they have the devil next to Him whispering all kinds of temptations to Jesus.  You can read about it and watch a part of the movie in this post.  A lot of the time I thought I doubted God or His promises, but I didn’t.  It becomes doubt or sin when you act on it.  Not when you hear it.  So I try (I’m not always successful) to counter those temptations with statements that agree with God’s Word.  I don’t always quote scriptures.  I might say something like:  “I know God will make me pregnant,” or I might quote an exact scripture like:  Exodus 23:25-26 (NIV): “²⁵ Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, ²⁶ and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span.” I like to use this one a lot because it is general and applicable to me, but also to everyone that is sick like Shumi and my mom.

I must say God is faithful and He has given back to us.  I have seen and heard certain things that can only be God’s hand that caused it.  It was sometimes things that might seem coincidental, someone saying something on a day when you needed to hear it, or something happening just at the right time or in the right way.  I do not believe in coincidence or in luck.  I see it as God giving us what we need, when we need it.  Once you start to notice these things, you see how often it happens, and I try to give God the glory and praise for every one of those “little miracles”.

I have also seen things that can only be God – like the polyp that disappeared during my last IVF cycle.  It was there on the scan one day and less than a week later is was basically almost completely gone.  It has never happened before with any of the other polyps I ever had and even my FS could not explain it.  Or the lump that Shumi had on his back – it was big and hard – like bone, suddenly there one day and a while later completely gone.  Both of these times I prayed to God asking Him to heal it, confessing scriptures and He helped out.  Proof like this helps a lot to strengthen you faith.  But I must say I must consciously think back on these things every now and then – it’s very easy to forget about things like this and start to waiver again.

I cannot always blog about every feeling or thought that goes through my mind, so it might seem that I’m stronger in my faith than what I actually am.  Let me tell you there are times when I feel bad, when it’s difficult to keep my faith, or there are times when I get discouraged, but every time the only thing that helps me out of the situation is a message from God or the Word of God.  How long I am in that situation mostly depends on me – I have to realize that I’m under attack and that I must turn to God for help.  That might take a day or two sometimes, but I must say I’m getting better at recognizing those situations.

I have some favourite scriptures that I meditate upon on and confess out loud.   Joy.ce Me.yer said once that we believe what we hear from our own mouths the most.  I found it to be true – the more I say something out loud the more I start to believe it.  Here are the confessions and scriptures that I turn to the most in no specific order:

Phil 4:6, 1 Peter 5:6-7: “I do not fret or have anxiety about anything. I do not have a care.”

Luke 18:27: “What is impossible with men is possible with God”

Philippians 4:13 (NIV): “¹³ I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

Exodus 23:25-26 (NIV): “²⁵ Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, ²⁶ and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span.”

Deuteronomy 7:13-14 (NIV): “¹³ He will love you and bless you and increase your numbers. He will bless the fruit of your womb, the crops of your land— your grain, new wine and oil— the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks in the land that he swore to your forefathers to give you.    ¹⁴ You will be blessed more than any other people; none of your men or women will be childless, nor any of your livestock without young.”

Psalm 127:3-5 (NIV): “³Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.    ⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.    ⁵ Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate”

Psalm 128:3 (NIV): “³ Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots round your table.”

Psalm 113:9 (NIV): “⁹ He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.   Praise the LORD”

2 Corinthians 1:20 (NIV): “²⁰ For no matter how many promises God has made, they are Yes in Christ. And so through him the Amen is spoken by us to the glory of God.”

Isaiah 55:11 (NIV): “¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

1 Peter 2:24 (NIV): “²⁴ He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.”

Isaiah 53:4-5 (NIV): “ ⁴ Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.    ⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

John 10:10 (NIV): “¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Romans 16:20 (NIV): “²⁰ The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.”

James 4:7 (NIV): “⁷Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Here and here are some more posts I wrote about doubts and my faith, where you can see that I’m not always strong in my faith, but where I got messages of hope in the times when I needed it.  Alternatively you are welcome to click on the Faith tag and get all the posts I have written and tagged about faith so far…

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Doubts and unbelief:

I have mentioned guilt and condemnation in the last few posts of mine.  It’s been something that I have been struggling with.  So as always, that is what you are going to hear about, whatever has been on my mind lately. Now you might wonder what that has to do with the title of this post.  Trust me they are related, keep on reading and you will soon see the connection. 

I have mentioned that DH was away – for a whole week, so on Saturday I didn’t really have much to do so I decided to rent the DVD of the Pas.sion of the Chr.ist.  I know it’s a movie that’s been out a long time already, but we have never seen it.  Why?  I thought that I knew and appreciated the big sacrifice Jesus made for us and as I cannot really watch any medical TV series, because I cannot stand the sight of blood and guts, I thought it best not to watch the movie.  But for some reason on Friday I thought that I need to see for myself graphically how terrible the suffering of Jesus was.  As I was alone at home I could watch it without feeling self conscious about crying, because I knew I was going to cry a lot.

The movie starts in the garden of Gethsemane when Jesus was praying moments before Judas would betray him and he would be arrested.  The devil is whispering things to Him.  Things like:  “Do you really believe that one man can bear the full burden of sin?”, and “No one man can carry this burden, I tell you, it’s far too heavy.  Saving their souls is too costly,” etc.  What did Jesus do?  He continued in prayer, in anguish, but he continued and ignored the devil. He asked for help from the Father.  There is this snake that comes from under the robe of the devil and slithers over to Jesus.  I think they wanted to symbolize the temptation, but when Jesus gets up from His knees he crushes that snake under His foot. 

I got such a revelation from watching this!  It sounded just like the stuff that goes through my mind a lot.  (I know I cannot compare my situation to that one of Jesus, but I’m talking about those same type of thoughts) “You are crazy to think that Shumi will be healed!  Look at him!  Why do you think you will be healed and get pregnant naturally?  Why would things change now?  Stop wasting time and go see your FS – maybe he has some ideas to help you.”  On and on, and I realized that although those things go through my mind, I don’t have to accept them.  It becomes doubt only when I act on it.  If I turn to God just like Jesus did, it is not a sin!  I don’t have to feel guilty!  I don’t have to be condemned!  It’s not me that thinks those thoughts; it’s the devil trying to tempt me! 

Now today I read again from “The batt.lefie.ld of the mi.nd and Joy.ce Me.yer explains the terms doubt and unbelief so nicely, so I want to share that with you.

“… O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”  Matthew 14:31

“And He marvelled because of their unbelief…”  Mark 6:6

“We usually talk about doubt and unbelief together as if they are one and the same.  Actually although they can be connected, the two are very different things.

Vine’s An Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words partially defines doubt in the verb form as “… to stand in two ways … implying uncertainty which way to take,… said of believers who’s faith is small… being anxious, through a distracted state of mind, of wavering between hope and fear…”

The same dictionary notes that one of the two Greek words translated as unbelief “is always rendered ‘disobedience’ in the R.V” (the Revised Version of the King James translation.)

As we look at these two powerful tools of the enemy, we see that doubt causes a person to waver between two opinions, whereas unbelief leads to disobedience. 

I think it’s going to be helpful to be able to recognize exactly what the devil is trying to attack us with.  Are we dealing with doubt or unbelief?

Doubt

“… How long will you halt and limp between two opinions?…”  1 Kings 18:21

I heard a story that will shed some light on doubt. 

There was a man who was sick and who was confessing the Word over his body, quoting healing Scriptures and believing for his healing to manifest.  While doing so, he was intermittently attacked with thoughts of doubt.

After he had one through a hard time and was beginning to get discouraged, God opened his eyes to the spirit world.  This is what he saw:  a demon speaking lies to him, telling him that he was not going to get healed and that confessing the Word was not going to work.  But he also saw that each time he confessed the Word, light would come out of his mouth like a sword, and the demon would cower and fall backward.

As God showed him this vision, the man then understood why it was so important to keep speaking the word.  He saw that he did have faith, which is why the demon was attacking him with doubt.

Doubt is not something that God puts in us.  The Bible says that God gives every man a “… measure of faith” (Romans 12:3).  God has placed faith in our heart, but the devil tries to negate our faith by attacking us with doubt.

Doubt comes in the form of thoughts that are in opposition to the word of God.  This is why it’s so important for us to know the word of God.  If we know the word, then we can recognize when the devil is lying to us.  Be assured that he lies to us in order to steal what Jesus purchased for us through his death and resurrection.

Doubt and Unbelief

“¹⁸ Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, So shall your offspring be.  ¹⁹ Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead— since he was about a hundred years old— and that Sarah’s womb was also dead.  ²⁰ Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, ²¹ being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”  Romans 4:18-21

When I am in a battle, knowing that God has promised and yet being attacked with doubt and unbelief, I like to read or meditate on this passage.

Abraham had been given a promise by God that He would cause him to have an heir from his own body.   Many years had come and gone and still there was no child as a result of Abraham and Sarah’s relationship.  Abraham was still standing in faith, believing what God had said would come to pass.  As he stood, he was being attacked with thoughts of doubt, and the spirit of unbelief was pressing him to disobey God.

Disobedience in a situation like this can simply be to give up when God is prompting us to press on.  Disobedience is disregarding the voice of the Lord, or whatever God is speaking to us personally, not just transgressing the Ten Commandments.

Abraham continued to be steadfast.  He kept praising and giving glory to God.  The Bible states that as he did so, he grew strong in faith.

You see, when God tells us something or asks us to do something, the faith to believe it or to do it comes with the Word from God.  It would be ridiculous for God to expect us to do something and not give us the ability to believe that we can do it.  Satan knows how dangerous we will be with a heart full of faith, so he attacks us with doubt and unbelief.

It’s not that we don’t have faith, it’s just that Satan is trying to destroy our faith through lies.

Faith is a product of the spirit; it’s a spiritual force.  The enemy doesn’t want you and me to get our mind in agreement with our spirit.  He knows that if God places faith in us to do a thing and we get positive and start to consistently believing that we can actually do it, then we will do considerable damage to his kingdom.”

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Little by little:

Yesterday I got out my “Bat.tlefie.ld of the mi.nd” book by Joy.ce Mey.er because of the realization of this spiritual battle I’m in and I started to read it again.  It helps sometimes to read books again later because you look at it with a different set of eyes.  I came across this chapter that really spoke to me and comforted me, so hopefully it will do the same for some of you:

 “And the Lord your God will clear out those nations before you, little by little; you may not consume them quickly, lest the beasts of the field increase among you.”  Deuteronomy 7:22

“The renewing of your mind will take place little by little, so don’t be discouraged if progress seems slow. 
Just before they entered the Promised Land, the Lord told the Israelites that He would drive out their enemies little by little lest the “beasts of the field” increase among them.

I believe pride is the “beast” that will consume us if we receive too much freedom too quickly.  It is actually better to be set at liberty in one area at a time.  That way we appreciate our freedom more; we realize it is truly a gift from God and not something we can make happen in our own strength.

Suffering Precedes Liberation
 

“And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace [who imparts all blessing and favour], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you.”  1 Peter 5:10

Why do we need to suffer a ‘”little while”?  I believe that from the time we actually realize we have a problem until Jesus delivers us, we endure a type of suffering, but we rejoice even more when freedom comes.  When we try to do something on our own, fail and then realize that we must wait on Him, our hearts overflow with thanksgiving and praise as He rises up and does what we cannot do ourselves.

No Condemnation

“Therefore, [there is] now no condemnation…for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.”  Romans 8:1

Don’t receive condemnation when you have setbacks or bad days.  Just get back up, dust yourself off and start again.  When a baby is learning to walk, he falls many, many times before he enjoys confidence in walking.  However, one thing in a baby’s favour is the fact that, even though he may cry a while after he has fallen, he always gets right back up and tries again.

The devil will try his hardest to stop you in this area of renewing the mind.  He knows that his control over you is finished once you have learned to choose right thoughts and reject wrong ones.  He will attempt to stop you through discouragement and condemnation.

When condemnation comes, use your “Word weapon.”  Quote Romans 8:1, reminding Satan and yourself that you do not walk after the flesh but after the Spirit.  Walking after the flesh is depending on yourself; walking after the Spirit is depending on God.

When you fail (which you will), that doesn’t mean that you are a failure.  It simply means that you don’t do everything right.  We all have to accept the fact that along with strengths we also have weaknesses.  Just let Christ be strong in your weaknesses; let Him be your strength on your weak days.

I repeat:  don’t receive condemnation.  Your total victory will come, but it will take time because it will come “little by little.”

Don’t Get Discouraged

“Why are you cast down, O my inner self?  And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me?  Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God.”  Psalm 42:5

Discouragement destroys hope, so naturally the devil always tries to discourage us.  Without hope we give up, which is what the devil wants us to do.  The Bible repeatedly tells us not to be discouraged or dismayed.  God knows that we will not come through to victory if we get discouraged, so He always encourages us as we start out on a project by saying to us, “Don’t get discouraged.”  God wants us to be encouraged, not discouraged.

When discouragement or condemnation tries to overtake you, examine your thought life.  What kind of thoughts have you been thinking?  Have they sounded something like this?

“I’m not going to make it; this is too hard.  I always fail, it has always been the same, nothing ever changes.  I’m sure other people don’t have this much trouble getting their minds renewed.  I may as well give up.  I’m tired of trying.  I pray, but it seems as if God doesn’t hear.   He probably doesn’t answer my prayers because He is so disappointed in the way I act.”

If this example represents you thoughts, it is no wonder you get discouraged or come under condemnation.  Remember, you become what you think.  Think discouraging thoughts, and you’ll get discouraged.  Think condemning thoughts and you’ll come under condemnation.  Change your thinking and be set free!

Instead of thinking negatively think like this:

“Well, things are going a little slow; but, thank God, I’m making some progress.  I’m sure glad I’m on the right path that will lead me to freedom.  I had a rough day yesterday.  I chose wrong thinking all day long.  Father, forgive me, and help me to “keep on keeping on.”  I made a mistake, but at least that is one mistake I won’t have to make again.  This is a new day.  You love me, Lord.  Your mercy is new every morning.

I refuse to be discouraged.  I refuse to be condemned.  Father, the Bible says that You don’t condemn me.  You sent Jesus to die for me.  I’ll be fine – today will be a great day.  You help me to choose right thoughts today.”

I’m sure you can already feel the victory in this type of cheerful, positive, God-like thinking.

We like everything instantaneous.  We have the fruit of patience inside, but it is being worked to the outside.  Sometimes God takes His time about bringing us our full deliverance.  He uses the difficult period of waiting to stretch our faith and to let patience have her perfect work.  (James 1:4 KJV)  God’s timing is perfect.  He is never late.

Here is another good thought to think:  “I believe God.  I believe He is working in me no matter what I may feel or how the situation may look.  The Lord has begun a good work in me, and He will bring it to full completion.”  (Philippians 1:6; 2:13.)

It is in this manner that you can effectively use your weapon of the Word to tear down strongholds.  I recommend that you not only purposely think right thoughts, but that you go the extra mile and speak them aloud as your confession. 

Remember, God is delivering you, little by little, so don’t be discouraged and don’t feel condemned if you make a mistake.

Be patient with yourself!”

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It’s a war zone here:

I haven’t posted in a while because we were incredibly busy.  DH left last night for a work conference and there was so much we had to do to get ready.  So much to organize and very little time to do it in, so blogging had to take a back seat, but now I’m alone at home, except for the 3 dogs of course, for about a week and I can concentrate on blogging again. 

Last night when I was lying exhausted in bed, awake at about 2h00 in the morning (Shumi woke me up), I realized that we have been under attack again.  The devil is so sly – he uses your circumstances to make you weak and then he tries to attack with full might!  He has well laid out plans and he is quite patient in executing those plans! 

Let me explain:  Last week, about Friday I noticed that one of the folds on Shumi’s nose was bigger than it used to be and that the area around his left eye is much more swollen than around his right eye.  Now the left hand side of his face is where the tumour was diagnosed.  It has also always been the side where the snot and blood used to come out of his nose until that nostril got blocked and since then it’s coming out of his left eye.  Ever since Saturday night Shumi has had trouble breathing at night, and he has been gasping for air at times so loud that he wakes us.  Yesterday his nose started bleeding again, but this time the blood came out of his right nostril.  So it seems like he is getting worse again, and it seems that he is at a new worse off stage, a stage he has never been at before…

The devil used our busy circumstances and lack of sleep, and pain to try and weaken us.  (I have had a terrible back pain, and pain in my left shoulder for the last few days too.)  I started hearing those horrible lies he likes to tell us again yesterday, but I brushed them off, refusing to listen to them.  But when I came home after dropping DH off at the airport last night and I had finally a chance to relax, I could hear the lies much louder.  “What if Shumi does not get healed?  What if he dies soon?  What if he is suffering – maybe it would be better to let him go…” 

Let me tell you it is incredibly hard to keep your faith and trust in God, when circumstances around you either don’t change or change for the worse.  I keep looking for encouragement and hope to keep me going, and most of the resources I’ve read do not mention how hard it is to endure when your circumstances don’t seem to change.  I don’t want to lie to you all – and that’s why I’m telling all this like it is.  It always sounds so easy – Just keep trusting in God, keep your faith.  Let me tell you I have felt like a failure when I was not able to do that!

Ephesians 6:12-17 (NIV):   “¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  ¹³ Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

I have heard quite a lot of messages about spiritual warfare and on the above verses from Joy.ce Me.yer, but never consciously realised that I was already engaged in warfare and wielding those weapons, until last night. 

The belt of truth:   I’ve learnt a lot lately – especially the truth about God – who He really is and what He wants for us and from us.  It’s becoming second nature to me now.  I recognise a lot of lies immediately for what they are.  And I thought a year ago I knew what the truth was – I have learnt so much recently and it amazes me.  But I’m sure there is still a lot more to learn!

The breastplate of righteousness:  I never really understood the word righteousness, until Joy.ce Me.yer explained it properly in one of her teachings.  It means to be in right standing with God.  On our own we will never be able to be in right standing with God, but through His mercy and the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus paid for us, we are put into right standing.  It was something that I thought I never deserved – it took a long time for that to sink in and accept – that I have righteousness before God, through Jesus Christ.  I always thought I was not worthy, because of my sinful nature.

The shoes of peace:  This one was really hard to achieve and is even harder to maintain.  But it helps if you know the truth, and if you trust in God, completely.  I think that is 2 keys you really need to achieve peace.  It is also one of the fruits of the spirit, and therefore I think only possible with the help of the Holy Spirit…

The Shield of faith:  Faith is also incredibly hard to maintain as time goes by and you do not see continued improvement.  As a matter of fact if you see the complete opposite like us with Shumi, where it seems like he is getting worse, then it is a hard thing, to stay strong in your faith. 

The helmet of salvation: This one was one of the first that I could accept – that I have achieved salvation through the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  It is also something that must really sink in and become a revelation – I have been saved by Jesus Christ! Once you realise that you have been saved then it easier to accept that you are a new covenant son of God, and all that comes with it.  I realised that I can use the name of Jesus Christ with authority, because of my relationship, my salvation and my right standing with God.  That revelation came a lot later than the one of salvation though!

Sword of the spirit – God’s Word:  This I’ve blogged a lot about, but what I never realized was that it doesn’t help to just say the verses.  We must meditate on them.  They must become real to us.  We must get a revelation on those scriptures.  We must know in our heart that those scriptures are true.  To have no more doubts about them.  So that when we hear a lie, we can without a moment’s hesitation refute the lie with a scripture to prove it wrong. 

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (Amp):  “⁴For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, ⁵[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasoning’s and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),”

What are strongholds?  Well years ago cities were strongholds.  They were built atop a hill or a mountain, often enclosed with walls, and they were very difficult to defeat by their enemies.  In the Bible it means a lie that the devil tells us which we believe so much that we cannot envisage it not being true.  We are held captive or are incapacitated by that lie.  There are so many strongholds that have been exposed to me recently – and I have been actively trying to share it with as many people as possible.  But strongholds can also differ from person to person – on your circumstances and what you’ve learnt through your life.  For example:  a lot of infertile people just don’t believe that they can get pregnant – they want to believe it, but deep down they think it’s impossible, because their circumstances have told them that so far it’s been impossible.  That kind of stronghold is very difficult to recognize as a stronghold and to break free from that is also incredibly difficult.  Believe me – that was definitely one of my strongholds…

Except for the above weapons what else do I do?  I praise God, I worship God and I keep expecting good things to happen, especially in those times when our circumstances point to the opposite.  I make a point of doing all of it when I feel I’m under attack, and it’s starting to become second nature to me.  I don’t think I need to tell you here that my time spent with God is getting more and more lately, because that is the only time I can keep up and keep on without giving up!  It a conscious effort that I have to make, and I have to make time for all this which in itself is not always easy!

I’m finding comfort in the following scriptures because they tell me that God is with me in this difficult time and that in the end it will be worth it if I don’t give up. 

Isaiah 43:2 (NIV):  “² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

Galatians 6:9 (NIV):  “⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” 

I don’t want to hammer just on the negative.  Let me just add that there have been small victories and those also help to keep me going.  Remember the big lump on Shumi’s back?  It’s completely gone – no sign of it anymore.  I don’t know what it was, but it was rock hard and big and now it’s gone.  I believe God healed that!  There were some specific times where things looked really bad with Shumi, and then suddenly he was much better again, especially when we kept going without doubting, confessing scriptures, laying hands on him and rebuking the devil.  I have also seen some results from praising God and expecting good things.  At times when Shumi had trouble breathing at night for instance – If I kept at it for 15 minutes to about half an hour his breathing would get much better and calmer and I think for that very reason Shumi is following me around everywhere lately.  Usually he wants to be outside most of the day, but lately he is not far from me, and when he is not feeling well he comes to me and wants me to touch him.  I am praising God for those small victories and I believe that soon those victories will become bigger and bigger!   All thanks to God off course!

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From head knowledge to heart knowledge…

Most often I do not really want to blog about my feelings, especially lately because I don’t want my blog to be a lot of whining about how sad I am or how depressed I am.  But I realised that you probably have no idea how I’m feeling with all that we are going through at the moment.  So let me try to be honest, but not too whiny…

Last week I was sick with the flu – I was down and depressed because I was not feeling well, and it didn’t want to get better.  DH even accused me of having the dreaded “man flu”!  Because I didn’t really feel like I was getting better, the depression got worse…  Thursday was the worst day – I woke up with a horrible dream – I dreamt that there was some kind of growth on the outside of my uterus, and that I had to have an operation to have it cut out.  It was huge and I was worried that it would be an ugly scar and that they would also do a full hysterectomy.  All I can remember is that I was terribly upset afterwards, because I could not imagine my life childless, because that would have been the consequence if I had to have a hysterectomy.  All day I just kept thinking that I don’t want to live my life childless…

Then later, for some reason I thought of the moment when we were at the doctor and he saw our baby’s heartbeat was slow.  I relived the whole appointment with everything the doctor said to us, and the next appointment where we were told that our little baby that we’ve been waiting for so long had not made it…  I remembered vividly our feelings of joy that we were eventually pregnant, our excitement about the progress of the pregnancy and we could not wait for January to come to meet our baby, and how those feelings were shattered in an instant!  I remembered the disappointment and sadness and the unfairness of it all.  We were so close, but also so far away from that dream… 

I guess that it’s quite obvious that I just completely broke down and cried and cried…  The thing that makes it so hard is the fact that we cannot go for another IVF soon…  If that was possible, I would have had some hope, but the only thing I can hope for is a natural miracle at the moment.  People also don’t seem to understand that we really cannot do another IVF – they keep asking me when we will do it again, and asking silly things like “have you thought of doing donor eggs?”  If we cannot do a normal IVF then a donor egg IVF is even more out of the question.  We over extended ourselves with the last IVF, we weren’t even supposed to do that one, so another one is totally out of the question!

Also – it feels like everybody else has forgotten about our baby and the fact that I was pregnant.  Everything is back to what it was before my pregnancy.   No one mentions it, or even asks me how I’m feeling.  It is assumed that I must be OK – and I’m not.  Most of the time I’m not OK.  I’m still incredibly sad, and I think of our babies often, I think often of how far pregnant I’m supposed to have been and how close the due date is getting. We would have known whether they were boys or girls or maybe even one of each.  I am often wondering if this is all I would know of being pregnant – if this was the closest I would ever get to being a parent…

The other thing that really upset me was Shumi’s health – his eye looked bad again.  There was a lot of snot coming out of it on Friday and Saturday – we were cleaning it about every 15 to 30 minutes.  He also had some difficulty breathing when he was lying down, gasping for air every few minutes. 

I had a lot of conversations with God – not blaming Him, but just saying over and over again that I know that is not His fault that we are going through all this, but the devil’s fault.  I know it was not His will that we lost our babies.  I know that He loves us, and every tear and every anxious moment is just as terrible to Him, than it is to us.  I know that His word is true and that his word cannot return to Him void.  I know that once it was said it has to happen.  So I know we are supposed to be healed.  I know that He is no respecter of persons.  I know He has no favourites and there is no reason why He would not help us.  I know we are not being punished and I know He never wanted us to be infertile.  I know that in God’s land none will be barren or miscarry and that He wants us all to have a full lifespan.  I know He will bless us more than any other people. I know He will take away sickness from among us. I know I am the apple of His eye…

Last night at church the message was about God’s love for us, and the minister kept talking about how some people perceive God to be an angry God that wants to punish us every time we do something wrong and he set out to prove from God’s Word that it is not so.  And I just knew that I’m long past that stage.  The thought doesn’t come up in my mind anymore.  I know God loves me more than anything or anyone I can ever love.  I know He is merciful and would rather forgive than judge or punish me. 

I realised that some things have become more than theoretical knowledge – it’s become something that I believe with my whole heart, and I don’t have to go back to those thoughts ever again.  I also realised that I have grown tremendously over the last few months – Just when I thought my relationship with God could not have grown any deeper it went to a whole different and more involved level.  I am so thankful for that! 

So what I’m trying to say is this:  It’s hard, all this that we are going through.  Very hard and I am depressed, but in spite of everything, God is helping me.  There is this deep knowledge inside me that I can trust God and that He will heal us all.  Even if it doesn’t look like it, feel like it or sound like it.  I don’t need proof.  I have read the proof in the Bible and I believe it.  It’s taking a whole lot longer than I thought it would, but I’m not giving up.  Ne.rida Wal.ker said in one of her video’s on You Tu.be that there are 3 steps to success:  information, revelation and application. 

I got the information a while ago, I have received revelation regarding that information and now it’s cemented in my heart.  That’s the application.  I think what helped a lot was to continuously confess scriptures out loud – it is second nature now to think of those scriptures when I hear something or I think something negative.  There are times that are so hard that I don’t know how I’ll get through the day, but then I turn to God and He gives me strength and hope, and I actually make it.  But there are also days that are better – where I have much more hope, and then I’m so grateful to God for what He has done for us, and is still doing for us.  With the help of God we will be OK, eventually, I know that.  But it’s not easy…

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Faith and healing:

For some reason yesterday morning, I’m not really sure how or why, I was reminded of something that happened about 2 years ago.  We were in a cell group of our church and there were 3 couples in this group.  We were the one couple, my friend R and her husband were the other couple and there was this 3^rd couple who had 2 children.  This 3^rd couple went through a rough time, because their daughter (aged 6) was sick with a very rare but debilitating disease.  It was not cancer – I cannot remember the correct name for her disease, but she was in pain every day and there were times that she had to be in a wheelchair as she could not walk or run because of that pain.   She missed school a lot, it was just too painful to go.  The treatment was Chemotherapy, but it wasn’t really helping…

I remember praying one day for this little girl and I actually asked God – “Is my faith sufficient to heal this girl?”  I knew her parents had faith, but what if they didn’t have faith?  What about other little kids like this one whose parents were not Christians?  She was so little, and I was not sure what this little girl’s faith was like.  I believed that you had to have enough faith for yourself to be healed. I finished praying and immediately after I read the following in my Bible:

Mark 2:1-12 (NIV):  “Jesus Heals a Paralytic  ¹A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. ²So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. ³Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. ⁴Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. ⁵When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  ⁶Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, ⁷“Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”  ⁸Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? ⁹Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? ¹⁰But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . .” He said to the paralytic, ¹¹“I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” ¹²He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!””

It was as if verse 5 jumped out of the page at me.  Jesus saw the faith of the 4 friends of this paralysed man and he said that this man’s sins were forgiven…  It doesn’t say Jesus saw the faith of the paralysed man – but the faith of his friends…  Wow!  What a wonderful revelation that was!  And it was so amazing that God gave me an immediate answer!

Recently when I did the “Di.vine Hea.ling Tech.nician” course Cur.ry Bla.ke said the same.  The person that needs healing does not have to be a Christian, does not have to be saved or without sin or have faith so that he will be healed, the only thing that is necessary is that the one that wants to help heal has to have enough faith.  That person needs to have faith that the Holy Spirit will do the healing through him or her.  

Another interesting thing that he said was that salvation is the biggest miracle of all.  And you can see that from the above verses it seems that was what Jesus thought as well.  I get the idea that Jesus says here:  It’s much easier to tell this man to walk out of here than for him to be saved… And I’ll prove it to you.  So the man got healed and saved!  Isn’t that amazing?

Now that is not what I believed – I thought it was much easier to be saved than for such a miracle to happen.  Why?  Because I did not think miracles like that still happened today, but I knew people got saved every day.  I’ve never seen anything like that happen or even heard a true story of something like that.  There are no healing lines or laying of hands on the sick, in our church – I believed you could pray to God, ask for healing and if it’s His Will He would heal you.  It looked like it was not very often God’s Will to heal, because I never saw any miraculous healings.  Some people got healed, but it could have been the doctors, or the medicine, or God….

I think I am not the only one that believed stuff like that – most people I know think the same.  Most people think that real healing miracles from God, without any medical intervention and no medical explanation does not happen anymore.  I believed that those miracles in the Bible did happen, but only because God wanted to work that way for whatever reason then, and for some other unknown reason he does not work like that anymore today.

I cannot explain to you how that revelation that it should still happen today affected my life! I’m getting more and more messages of hope, and that I’m on the right track…  Last Saturday I did a street outreach again and I spoke to one of the other volunteers and she said on her own without me saying anything about the topic:  “Do you know that God’s word is like a sword?  That we can defeat the devil by speaking God’s word out loud?”  She told me about someone’s vision she saw on TV – I think it was on one of Joy.ce Me.yer’s programs.  That person saw a vision of a bright light coming out of his mouth every time he spoke God’s Word out loud… I also came across a video on You Tube last week from Ne.rida Wal.ker who said she had a vision of a masonry wall that represented a blockade, and that it was slowly broken down every time she spoke God’s word.  It was like someone chipped at it with a hammer and chisel until it finally completely broke down.  I immediately realized I was impatient and that I need to do a lot more work here.  I believe, but I’m not speaking God’s Word out aloud enough!  Here is that video on You Tube if you want to watch it for yourself:

Well today I can gladly say that this little girl is so much better – she is not getting Chemotherapy anymore, because a new drug has been released that works so much better and she is in school, does not need a wheel chair anymore, and can run and play like any other 8 year old girl! Last time I heard she still gets treatment once every few months, but the disease is managed…

My friend “G” is also doing very well – he is seeing the surgeon later today to find out what he found during the operation, but it seems that they did not cut nearly as much out as he anticipated at first.  He can still speak; a bit more difficult than before, and he says that he is not really in much pain.  The surgeon did not cut to the outside of his face, so there is no scarring that you can see.  He has a bigger hole in his mouth than before – eating is difficult, because the liquidised food goes into his nose, but he manages.  He looks good and he says he feels good.    

And then my last success story for now:  I took KT to the vet last week for her inoculations and I took Shumi with just for the ride.  Now Shumi knows the vet’s place very well ever since he spent almost 6 weeks there after his snake bite.  Usually I battle to get him out of the car, but not his time – he wanted to come out of the car and go inside with us.  So the vet’s assistant was so surprised to see Shumi is still alive and obviously she thought I was there for Shumi.   When the vet came in it was exactly the same reaction.  They could not believe how well he looks, and to be frank that he is not dead yet…  They thought we have him on some kind of treatment – what I don’t know, because there is no medical treatment that will help him, but they could not believe how good Shumi looks, and how much energy he has.  The previous time this same vet made me feel guilty because I didn’t have Shumi euthanized yet, this time he didn’t even mention it, because it does not look like he is sick!  He still has one blocked nostril and a little discharge from his one eye and the lump on his back is almost gone!  The vet was actually laughing at Shumi and KT and he was just shaking his head.  Eventually he said it must be a slow growing tumour…  I am confident that we will prove him wrong.

So I need to Praise the Lord here!  It can only be by the grace of God that Shumi and G are doing so well and are looking so good!  It can only be the healing power of God that is at work here!  They basically have the same problem – Shumi and G – both were diagnosed with a cancerous tumour in the nose area that affects the soft palate.  The difference is in humans there are not so many blood vessels in the nose, so it is still possible to operate, but on dogs there are too many blood vessels and the specialist vet said no vet in South Africa will operate in that area, not even the vets at Onderstepoort Veterinary Institute! 

A while ago I was despondent, because I was not seeing any results, actually I was seeing the opposite – it looked like Shumi was getting worse.  I was faced with a difficult decision – keep on believing or stop believing.  I chose to trust God, and now I can see results!  It took a new commitment, some more studying, and putting in a lot of work – finding scriptures to confess and actually making time to regularly confess them.  I believe I’m starting to crack that wall!  I now keep that image in my mind’s eye when I’m confessing the scriptures, and I’m confessing it over so many people’s (and dogs) lives and their health! 

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Please watch these videos:

I stumbled across these videos on You Tube today – It’s exactly what I’ve been blogging about, but it has some testimonies too!  It’s from New Life Ministries in Australia.  This is their website:   http://www.newlifeministries.com.au/

I would love to hear what you think about it…

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