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Archive for May, 2011

10 Weeks:

Thursday I was 10 weeks and I suddenly realized that meant 25% through my pregnancy.  Wow!  That was a bit of a shock…  But a good, happy shock if you know what I mean.

It seems like my symptoms are getting a bit better – I’m not nauseous every day anymore and I think I’m managing things quite well, by eating regularly and avoiding things like standing too long.  But that said, I still felt pretty horrible on Monday, I was nauseous from the moment I got up in the morning until I went to bed that night and Wednesday I was very dizzy quite a few times during the day.  Also on Wednesday night I suddenly felt like I was getting sick with flu, or a cold or sinusitis or something, but as I know God does not want us to be sick I decided to fight this bug.  I really don’t want that at this stage of my pregnancy.

Thursday I was a bit under the weather but I must say I’ve been feeling much better since Friday.  I went for a facial and a neck massage Thursday (Thanks Sis!  She treated me!)  and I think the steam that they blow on your face helped my sinuses a lot – I could feel them opening up while the steam was blowing…

I’m still tired but I’ve noticed that by 17h00 or 18h00 if I haven’t had a nap that I have some more energy and that I can actually make it to 21h00 or 22h00 before I have to go to bed.  Mostly if I do take a nap, which is only about 3-4 times a week I take it from about 16h30 until 18h00.  Those days DH has to cook dinner, but he is so awesome, he does not complain at all!

I have an appointment at the foetal assessment centre on 8 June for a Foetal assessment scan, and from what I’ve read this scan is amazing.  Some say the best scan during your pregnancy so I’m looking forward to that.  I still feel a little lost as I haven’t decided on an obgyn or a midwife yet.  I have had second thoughts about the obgyn I initially made an appointment with.  I moved that appointment as it was for 10 June and I can’t see the point of going for scans 2 days apart, but I’m thinking of cancelling altogether.  This doctor came highly recommended to me by 2 of my cousins, but she is so expensive!  I know my medical aid will pay some towards the fees, but I think it’s more an issue of principle at this stage as she charges half as much more than what my FS charges and he is a specialist!

So I am looking at other options and one of them is getting a midwife.  I really would like to have a natural birth.  My mom had c-sections with both my sister and I and my sister also had 2 c-sections, but I’m not going to worry about whether I would also need a c-section as I know God’s perfect plan and design is for us to give natural birth and I believe that He has created me perfectly and healed me completely so I’m believing all will go well.

Here in South Africa the standard practice with most obgyn’s is to advise their patients to have c-sections, and very rarely these days the women who go to obgyn’s get to give birth naturally.  There are really only a few ladies I know in real life that has given birth naturally in the past 10 years or so.  My sister lived in the UK for a couple of years and there they rarely give birth via c-section, only when there are complications, and my sister was one of those rare cases with the birth of her first daughter.  So she has been very vocal about all the c-sections being done here in South Africa and I guess that laid the foundation for me to not want one.  Then I read Super.natural Child.birth and I learned what God wants for us, and easy natural pregnancies are achievable when you believe in it.  Lastly a dear friend (K from New Zealand, Hi K!) told me about a documentary called The Busi.ness of Be.ing Bo.rn on You Tube and after watching that I was totally convinced that natural birth is best.

I am getting a bit more excited about this pregnancy as I have officially past the stage where I had my miscarriage and since our little nunu was so big and strong with our last scan there is more hope that this will end up to be a successful pregnancy.  Not that I worried much about it, I tried to not think about bad thoughts on purpose, but I guess once you’ve had a miscarriage there will  always be some little nagging thoughts that come up every now and then…

This morning after I woke up, but while I was still lying in bed I thought back to the time we started ttc right through to this pregnancy and I was once again struck with wonder, awe and total gratefulness towards God for giving us this miracle.  It is really mind blowing to think that after trying for 11.5 years, after lots of operations, 8 IUI’s, 3 fresh IVF’s and 1 FET, having  endometriosis, adenomyosis and uterine problems like polyps and dealing with 48% generically abnormal sperm that I could get pregnant naturally at the age of 40.  And the most amazing part for me was that it took 7 months of learning about God and actively believing for that miracle for it to manifest into reality.  All the time in those 7 months it felt like a long time, but now when I look back I’m actually amazed at how short a time that was…

All I can say is God is so good, He is so faithful, and He is so amazing!  Nothing is impossible for Him!

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Mark 5:24-34 (NIV): 24 So Jesus went with him. A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 because she thought, If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed. 29 Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. 30 At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, Who touched my clothes? 31 You see the people crowding against you, his disciples answered, and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ 32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

The last few years I was somehow touched every time I read the story of the woman with the issue of blood in the Bible.   I think it had to do with the fact that she suffered for many years (12 years) and was healed.  It gave me hope somehow that even if you have a condition for many years that you can still be healed.  I think the fact that it was a gynecological problem made me also identify with her.

More recently I have learnt even more about this woman and her circumstances that make me admire her.  We don’t always  understand the significance of specific details, because the way we live and our culture is so much different today than it was in Biblical times.  The fact that she was permanently bleeding meant that she was unclean in the eyes of the Jews and the priests.

Leviticus 15:19-33 (NIV):  19 ‘When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.   20 ‘Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean.  21 Whoever touches her bed must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.  22 Whoever touches anything she sits on must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.   23 Whether it is the bed or anything she was sitting on, when anyone touches it, he will be unclean till evening.  24 ‘If a man lies with her and her monthly flow touches him, he will be unclean for seven days; any bed he lies on will be unclean.  25 ‘When a woman has a discharge of blood for many days at a time other than her monthly period or has a discharge that continues beyond her period, she will be unclean as long as she has the discharge, just as in the days of her period.  26 Any bed she lies on while her discharge continues will be unclean, as is her bed during her monthly period, and anything she sits on will be unclean, as during her period.  27 Whoever touches them will be unclean; he must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.  28 ‘When she is cleansed from her discharge, she must count off seven days, and after that she will be
ceremonially clean.  29 On the eighth day she must take two doves or two young pigeons and bring them to the priest at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting.  30 The priest is to sacrifice one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement for her before the LORD for the uncleanness of her discharge.   31 ‘You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanness for defiling my dwelling-place, which is among them.’  32 These are the regulations for a man with a discharge, for anyone made unclean by an emission of semen, 33 for a woman in her monthly period, for a man or a woman with a discharge, and for a man who lies with a woman who is ceremonially unclean.”

Leviticus 13:45 (NIV):  45 The person with such an infectious disease must wear torn clothes, let his hair be unkempt, cover the lower part of his face and cry out, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’”

Numbers 19:20 (NIV):  20 But if a person who is unclean does not purify himself, he must be cut off from the community, because he has defiled the sanctuary of the LORD. The water of cleansing has not been sprinkled on him, and he is unclean.”

When this woman went out in Public she was supposed to shout “Unclean!  Unclean!” every now and then to warn the people around her that she was unclean so that they would not accidently touch her and become unclean themselves.  All unclean people had to do that – there were many rules about what made a person unclean, but this permanent haemorrhaging of blood was only one of the causes.  There was actually a law that said that they could stone an unclean person to death should they cause other people to become unclean too.  Unclean people’s lifestyles were severely restricted in those days – they could not come into the temple, they could not participate in any of the religious ceremonies and I’m sure other people did not treat them well.  It  says they were cut off from the community – can you imagine living like that for 12 years?

So this woman actually took a huge risk by getting into that crowd that pressed so close to Jesus.   There was no way that she was able to touch Jesus’ hem without touching a lot of other people too.  And then Jesus turned around and asked who touched Him.  That was why she was trembling with fear when she admitted it was her.  She was healed, but she could still receive the death penalty for causing other people to become unclean.

It was extremely courageous of her to do what she did, and just shows us how desperate she was.   It says that she suffered a lot under the physicians and that they could not help her and that her condition grew worse.   I’m sure she thought Jesus was her last option and only hope.  She was desperate…

There is another significant fact in this story.  It says there was a large crowd pressed around Jesus – now I’m sure at least some of those people also had some kind of ailment or disease.  But it’s only mentioned that this woman got healed.  Why didn’t the others also get healed?  Surely they must have touched Jesus too?

It’s because she decided beforehand that if she touched Jesus’ clothes that she would get healed.  There is nowhere else in the Bible that it mentions something like this.  No one else got healed in this way, certainly not before this woman got healed like this.  So it was something that she must have thought of herself and believed that it would happen.   That is why Jesus said her faith has healed her.

Another important fact is that she was healed without Jesus even being aware of her.  So He didn’t know that she was going to touch His garment and that He would heal her this way.   He only became aware of her healing when He realized that power had gone out of Him.  Many different places in the New Testament it says that Jesus and even His disciples healed everyone.  So this is just one more way to prove that Jesus wants to heal everyone.  It’s not God’s will for some to be healed and for another not to be healed.  He wants healing for everyone and if you believe, if you do the right things healing will come automatically.  In this case all she did was to decide beforehand that if she just touched the clothes of Jesus’ she will be healed, she believed it, acted upon it and it happened automatically.

Unfortunately in my case and I think in a lot of other people’s lives we wait until we are in the same desperate situation as this woman was before we start to believe and act upon our faith to get our healing.  We often want to do things in our own way and in our own strength and when that doesn’t work anymore and we have no more options then only do we turn to God…  But I guess the important thing is that we do eventually turn to God…

But it makes me wonder how different things could have been if I had known all this 11 years ago – I know I must have prayed hundreds, maybe thousands of times for God to heal me and to bless us with children and all that time God was waiting for me to change.  If you are in the same situation – why don’t you do that sooner rather than later, you won’t regret it!  I can certainly testify that God is so faithful!  If you are faithful to Him, if you know and believe the right stuff, God will heal you too!  It’s not a matter of if He wants to, only a matter of when, and that depends on you not on God…

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Our scan went well this morning.  Our little baby is measuring 9w2d or 24.8mm.  So it is still about 2 days ahead and that makes us very happy!  We got a bit of sad news too – there was another empty sac or vanishing twin as the FS called it.   I really would have loved to have twins…  The sister when she saw the empty sac said, “All natural!”, and the FS later confirmed that he thought our pregnancy is a real miracle from God.  That was nice to hear…

It was our last official appointment at our clinic, which was a bit sad – but the FS said I can still come back if I want to, but he reminded me that they don’t do births…   I think it will feel a bit weird to get to know a new doctor and their staff when we were so comfortable and well known at this clinic.  The sister even told me that I’m well known over the internet, just in case I didn’t know!   There are quite a few of Fertilicare ladies at the same clinic and I guess some of them must have mentioned or asked about me!  She also asked that I keep her updated at least via e-mail as she would love to know how my pregnancy progresses.  Everyone at the clinic is so happy for us – even though they didn’t get us pregnant this time, it just shows you that they are in it for more than just money – they all really love what they are doing…

For those who are wondering about my symptoms:  Lots of cramping, I’m very bloated and it seems the morning sickness is getting a bit worse.  I still haven’t vomited, but it’s been close a few times.  If I didn’t have such an issue with vomiting, I’m sure it would have come out.  My sense of smell is also really sensitive and bad smells make me feel ill.   The other day we were looking at a display and the salesman smelled like stale cigarette smoke.  I had to get away from him so fast!  Fortunately DH was talking to him; otherwise he would have thought I was rude…

I also get dizzy at times – I really felt bad yesterday when we had to queue to vote.  We went on purpose in the afternoon so that it would hopefully not be so busy, but we still queued for almost an hour.  I think it would have gone quicker if they didn’t keep putting the pensioners and people whose surnames started with the letter V in front of everybody else.  My FIL said I should have told them I’m pregnant, but why would they believe me.  I can’t prove it, and I certainly don’t look pregnant.  The staff there  certainly wasn’t bothered by the fact that I had to lean on stuff or even had to sit down at times…

It seems that my belly is starting to pop out a bit.  Not much – no one would be able to see it, but under my little spare tyre that I’ve accumulated over the years, it’s starting to get rounder.  At the start of my pregnancy it was flat there, maybe even bumping in a bit, but for the last few days DH and I have both noticed that it’s not flat anymore and that it’s bumping out now.  Even in the mornings before I’ve had my breakfast and before I can become bloated we can see it.   We must really take a belly picture soon, so far we forget every time because I want to take one first thing in the morning.  I don’t want to take one later in the day
because then you’ll only see the bloated tummy…

I’ll be posting the scan picture again under pregnancy pictures but this one is not so clear.  They used a different machine than last time and the FS even had to press down quite hard on my tummy to get a sort of decent picture.

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I can’t believe it’s my 200th post!  I almost missed this milestone.  Kitty  gave me the Versatile Blogger award, thank you Kitty!

Here are the rules:

1) Winners- Put the above image in your blog.

2) Include a link back to the person who gave it to you.

3) Tell 10 things about yourself

4) Award 15 other bloggers

5) Contact the bloggers you awarded and let them know they won

Ok let’s see if I can think of 10 random things about myself:

  1.  I have always had blonde hair since a child, but as I got older my roots got darker.  So while I was in my 2WW of the cycle I got pregnant I decided to colour my hair darker, so that when I am pregnant I wouldn’t have to dye my roots
    every 6 weeks or so.  The first colour I picked had a hint of auburn in it on the picture of the box but after colouring, it came out bright red!  So I bought another box and dyed it again – this time I picked lightest brown, and I’m happy with the colour now.  DH joked that he had a blonde, a redhead and a brunette all in 1 day!
  2. The only other time I did not have blonde hair was when I was born, apparently it was red.  But in all the baby pictures I’ve seen my hair is blonde so I think it must have gone blonde quite quickly.
  3. I have always loved dogs; our first dog’s name was Snoopy.  We got him when I was about 3 or 4, but my parents gave him away when we moved to the Netherlands when I was 6 years old.  I could not understand why Snoopy could not come with us…
  4. The day we moved out our house before we went to the Netherlands my sister was so upset that she clung to the gate and screamed!  She didn’t want to leave our house and my parents had to pry her loose from the gate.  I can still remember that clearly!
  5. I always felt like a bit of an outsider – when we lived in the Netherlands we were always the kids from South Africa and then when we came back we were always the kids from Holland…
  6. I’ve always loved to read – As I child it was the highlight of my week if my mom took us to the library.  Even now I still read a few books a week.
  7. One of my other hobbies was sewing.  I made my first clothes when I was 12 years old – it was a bright pink top and a skirt with white trim (it was the 80’s you know,) and I got lots of compliments on it.  Nobody believed I made it myself,
    because it was done so neatly.  They all though my mom sewed it, but she didn’t – she let me do it all myself.  These days I don’t make clothes anymore (it’s cheaper and easier to buy), but I am busy making some winter sheets and I made
    Shumi a winter jacket…
  8. One of my dreams is to make a quilt one day, but I must say I feel a bit intimidated by the idea…  I saw recently that there is someone that does a course on it close to our home and if I had the time and money I would love to do the course.
  9. My current dream is to buy our own house again, hopefully a fixer upper that I can renovate and decorate to my taste.  DH and I have done that before and we absolutely loved it.  It didn’t feel like work at all.
  10. I don’t drink alcohol at all or eat lamb or mutton.  I think it’s because of the yellow jaundice I had when I was a child.  Fatty foods and alcohol make me feel sick and make me vomit.  So I avoid it at all costs.

Wow, that was hard…  I’m not feeling very creative today…

Now the nominees:  Most blogs I read have been nominated already.  I’ll try to nominate those that haven’t won anything yet, but if I do nominate you and you’ve already got this reward then I apologize…

1.  Lindi at Babies and Us

2.  Miela at Babybummer

3.  Jess at When the Music Fades

4.  Fate of the Chocolate Chip Cookies

5.  Melissa at The Sweetest Gift

6.  Jos at Room to Think

7.  Hanneke at To Be or not to Be.  That is the Question?

8.  CaSondra at Life Adventures with the SHIM’S

9.  Watering Faith’s Seed

10.  Kuru at Above all Dreams

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8 Weeks:

Today I’m 8 weeks pregnant.  I can’t believe I’ve known I’m pregnant for just over a month already!  I had my 3rd Intralipid drip today and it should be my last one.  Originally the FS said I needed one at 4 weeks, 6 weeks and 8 weeks.  I’m going for a second scan in a week’s time and then we will hear what the FS has to say, but I think it will be my last appointment there.

I have already made an appointment at an obgyn at around 12 weeks.  I haven’t been to this doctor, but she comes highly recommended so I hope I like her…

I must admit I have been a bit scarce with my posts, mostly due to the fact that I’m so tired all the time!  DH must think I’m totally useless now.   I feel like I need a nap every afternoon.  The nausea and queasiness is also getting worse, which is a surprise as I didn’t really feel very nauseous with my last pregnancy.  The last few days I’ve started to gag a lot, but thankfully I’ve been able to keep my food in.  I hate throwing up – I’ll do almost anything to keep it inside.  I would never be able to be bulimic…

I’ve found that eating regularly, small portions and healthy food is best for me.  Eating does not really make me feel better but it keeps me from feeling bad when I get too hungry.  I think it must be my blood sugar level that drops too low, and then it takes a long time to feel better again.  I’m also getting dizzy if I stand for too long.  Other than all that I’m doing well and I must say I’m not complaining, just saying…  It is so worth it all!

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KT at 10 months:

It’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged about KT.  She has grown so much; she is almost as big as Shumi, which is a  surprise as her parents weren’t so big.  I think it’s the food that we feed them, because all our boxers were or are big, but most of their parents weren’t so big.

Except Pippin’s dad – he was huge!  I remember the day we got her – when we stopped at the house of the breeder DH’s window was open and he just walked up to the car and rested his head in the open window.  I think that was the only time I’ve been a bit scared of a boxer.  But he was just like any other boxer happy to see visitors…

Anyway, back to KT – she is very sociable; she is also incredibly loved by everyone that lives here in our estate.  DH took them all for a walk the other day and he saw one of the ladies that live here walking behind him, pushing her stroller with her 1 year old baby inside.  This couple has 2 children – a bigger daughter of about 5 or 6 year old and then the little one who turned 1 in March.  They rent from the developer and DH thought that she was looking for the owners of their house as she was walking very fast and determined down the road.  DH knew that she wouldn’t find them at their house as he saw them elsewhere while he was walking the dogs.

So DH asks her, “soek jy een van hulle?”  Meaning, “Are you looking for one of them?” but she heard, “Do you want one of them?”  KT was walking just in front of the stroller you see.  So she answers, “Yes we would love one, but we have 2 cats and we don’t know what a dog would do to them.  My older daughter loves KT to bits and we lock the cats into one of the bedrooms and let her play with KT inside the house, but it’s getting difficult to explain to her that she cannot have KT.   The little one also loves KT and I must take her for walks so often because she just wants to get close to KT, but KT never stands still!”  I was wondering why this lady took the little baby for so many walks in the stroller, and it turns out it’s to get outside to let the baby play with KT.  In the end DH was too embarrassed to tell her that’s not what he meant…

It warms my heart that our dogs are so loved by our neighbours.  Our other neighbours who own Tess the little black dog in the video also love KT to bits.  Every morning they give their dogs a chicken neck and every afternoon they get a bone.  KT knows about this ritual and she is always there to collect one for herself too.

DH has a new nickname for KT – he calls her stretch, because she sleeps stretched out and seems so long.  I have said to DH that we should have named her happy, because she seems happy all the time.  It almost looks like she is smiling constantly.

In the photo below she is not quite stretched out, but she is using Nandi as a pillow!

Here is a video of KT and Tess playing.  They are so entertaining!  I must say I haven’t been able to get a video of them playing with KT bouncing around.  It looks like she has springs on the bottom of her feet to help her bounce.  But this was the best I could get.   Somehow when I take a camera or my phone out to record them they stop the funny antics!

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