34 Weeks Pregnant:

We had our first visit to the backup Obgyn today and it went well. Almost everything was once again perfect.

I must say she did a very thorough check on baby and me, and she said the main purpose was for her to assess whether I still have a low risk pregnancy and we got the go ahead for the water birth. That was such good news, and we could book our room at the clinic with a happy heart.

We got a scan of our baby, but the doctor forgot to give us the one picture she took of our baby’s testicles. I guess I was spoiled with the scans we got at the other lady, because there we got at least 10 pictures every time, and a DVD, today we got nothing! Or not completely true, at least we got to see our baby again, and that was all worth it! It’s been a long 6 weeks since we last saw our baby.

Not that we could see much – he has grown so much that we could only see parts of him and we also couldn’t really see him move around like last time. But I must say, I’ve heard these last scans in the last weeks are a bit disappointing compared to the second trimester scans. One thing is still for sure, we are definitely having a boy – the dr said she usually tells her patients that she is only 80% sure, but this time she can say with confidence she is 100% sure it’s a boy. Not that we doubted it, because it’s been very definite ever since we had our 12 weeks scan, and every single scan afterwards as well.

Our baby’s heartbeat was 133bpm today and dr was so happy with it, right in the middle of the range it should be and a strong and even heartbeat. She measured him and he is still very much an average size baby, at approx 2.2kg’s now, and she estimates he should gain about 150g per week so he should be close to 3.2kg’s at full term. Not too big for me to push out! Also he was lying head down again today, perfectly with his back in the right position. My placenta was also fine, no more worries about a low lying placenta that can interfere with our birth plans. She could still see the accessory lobe but that is just fine, they must just know about it, so that they can make sure it comes out with the rest of the placenta at birth. The only thing that was not perfect at the scan was my amniotic fluid seemed a bit low, but the dr said I must just stay hydrated and get into the pool everyday, which I do anyway in this heat!

My urine test was once again much better; a low reading of glucose, much lower than last week, but the dr still wants me to go for a fasting glucose test. She thinks I might be a borderline gestational diabetic, and wants to see the blood results. I think my diet changes helped a bit, but I must also give the glory to God, because I once again actively believed that He will heal me, and we could see that all was much better so I know He did! At least the ketones were normal and I gained 900g again in the last week and a half. In total that brings me up to just over 7 kg’s gained in my pregnancy to date. The doctor was extremely happy with that.

I got my second anti-D injection today, even though they could not find my blood results from the test I had done 2 days ago. So I don’t know whether there were any antibodies yet. I guess I’ll find out at my next midwife check up.

Our baby is very active these days, and the dr and the midwives keep on telling me I need to count the baby’s movements per hour, but I don’t because he moves so much it’s really not a worry to me. My whole bump often rocks from side to side and one can even see the bumps coming up at times. Sometimes it feels like he is trying to claw out of my tummy, when he does that. DH and I often sit and laugh at his antics, especially at night.

O, by the way, our baby has a name now – but we aren’t telling anyone yet. I keep on telling everyone that it’s going to be a surprise and I must say some people are not too happy with us! Especially my sister, she is so curious and she was really disappointed when we didn’t want to tell her. We played a trick on her – we told her a name, which is a made up name, a combination of my name and DH’s name, because we know she does not like it at all when people do that, but she didn’t fall for that one. She knew immediately we were winding her up…

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Baby Shower, 4D Scan and 28 Week Check-up:

Our baby shower was a huge success. We were actually spoiled rotten. We received so many wonderful presents from every one! My sister had a cake made especially for the occasion, and my MIL really went all out to entertain everyone. We are so fortunate and blessed!

Our Baby Shower Cake

The gifts

The DH’s and children were also invited and my DH loved being involved in the baby shower. There were some thoughtful gifts for him too, and it makes me wonder why the husbands aren’t always involved. I actually think the other DH’s also enjoyed it – there was a lot of joking going on and they also loved seeing all the baby things we got.

At least now we know what we still need and I can start to buy a few things again. One thing that we don’t need at all is baby blankets – I have so many now it’s enough for about 3 babies! But I must say we got some unusual gifts, and not many of the same things. A nice variety and some people were so thoughtful that they bought us clothes for next winter and up to a year old. So not just things for now…

The scan was amazing! A bit uncomfortable, because our baby has finally moved head down, and that caused the sonographer to have trouble seeing his face, and then he kept his hands in front of his face most of the time too, so I had to turn and lie on my side for her to get the best angle, but then the screen was to my back, so I had to lie twisted up to be able to see the screen too. But it was so worth it all, because our little boy is just absolutely beautiful to us!

All his measurements were absolutely perfect! He is growing nicely and according to the growth chart she plots for us he has moved from average and slightly below average to just slightly above average with all measurements. If all those measurements are combined our baby now measures 3 days ahead, which is still not enough to change the due date.

Our baby’s estimated weight has increased from 753g to 1391g in just 4 weeks. That is almost double! I was surprised to hear that. His foot measured at 5.45cm, last time it was 4.50 cm and the first measurement at 20 weeks was 3.29cm. His heartbeat was perfect again, varying from about 136 bpm to 149 bpm, just like it should.

The placenta was about the same distance from my cervix as last time – she actually got 2 different measurements, it varied a bit as my bladder started to fill up – but it is already not a problem anymore so that is fine. I haven’t mentioned this on the blog before but I also have an accessory lobe, which is essentially an extra piece of placenta, which she never discussed with me before, but I saw she wrote it on her notes. Yesterday she did mention it, but she also said it’s not a problem. Apparently it is something she sees quite often, and it depends on its location whether it can cause a problem or not. Mine is not in the way of our baby or close to my cervix so it’s fine. I asked her if it could be from having a vanishing twin, she said it could be, but she really doubts it, since she sees it quite a lot and most of those women didn’t have vanishing twins. The midwives need to know about the accessory lobe to make sure that everything comes out after the birth, and that a piece does not stay behind.

I’ve posted 2 scan pictures up on the pregnancy pictures page and a current belly picture. I must say it’s nice to have a record of everything on my blog at the moment, but I also want to make an album and put all of the scan pictures, belly pictures and scan video’s in there, with a description of all the measurements and my symptoms etc. I have been warned that I will forget all these details and I see especially family love to look at the scan pictures quite often.

The midwife visit also went well – once again everything was good, my urine, my blood pressure, my uterus measurements etc. The only thing that was not perfect was my weight – I thought I had gained a bit more that I actually did, but I’m at 5 kg’s more than my pre-pregnancy weight at the moment. Our baby’s growth chart looks good, and my uterus measurements growth chart looks good, but my weight gain chart is almost flat, but fortunately because our baby is growing so well, it’s not a problem. It’s between a half a kilogram and 1 kilogram more than my last check-up 4.5 weeks ago, so not much – our baby alone has gained about that much.

I was told though that I need to eat 2 portions of protein a day from now, because that will help our baby’s muscle development and I need to take sufficient Omega 3 too for his brain development. Something she mentioned yesterday and which I didn’t know was that not all Omega 3 supplements are safe to take in pregnancy. I checked mine though and fortunately it is safe. I also have to drink more water; she feels I’m not getting quite enough.

I got my Rhogam (Anti D) injection yesterday, fortunately there are no antibodies in my blood yet, so that is good news, but the midwife made me panic a bit. I took some of my left over IVF injections with, and there was 1 thin needle that we always used to inject with and 1 thick needle that we used for the mixing of the meds. The midwife did it the other way around. I panicked a bit when I saw she wanted to inject me with the thick needle, so I asked her if she couldn’t use the other needle, but she could not because it is an intra muscular injection and the thin needle was too short. Fortunately I did not feel a thing, not even a prick! So she is really good, and I told her so too! Our next Rhogam injection and blood test is again at 32 weeks.

She also encouraged us to ask questions and did we ask many, especially DH! I was a bit worried about breastfeeding as a lot of people have been scaring me with stories of breastfeeding not working for them. She did an examination of my nipples, since the shape and size can cause problems with breastfeeding, but apparently I have perfect nipples for breastfeeding. She gave them a quick squeeze and there were drops of colostrum coming out, so that is also a good sign. She told me that they will help me to breastfeed and won’t let me go home until I get it right, and that is also one of the reasons why they visit us at home after the birth, to check up and see if it is still going well with the breastfeeding. So my fears have been allayed about that.

We have had quite a few exciting days and boy did I feel it by Sunday afternoon and yesterday afternoon, I was so tired that I had to take naps in the afternoon. We are getting so excited about our baby now, and I just want to get everything finished. So painting the baby room and getting my chest of drawers is important to me now and I want to get that sorted within the next few weeks.

I have been dreaming about giving birth a lot recently and I’m sure it’s the anticipation building up! Thankfully DH is just as excited as I am!

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Water birth class and 24.5 week scan:

Before I tell you about the water birth class and the scan I must first congratulate my awesome, wonderful DH on his birthday today! Happy birthday my dearest, darling husband, you are the best! I love you sooo much!

We had the water birth class on Saturday and it seems I’m somewhat of an eager beaver. We got there first and the first thing the midwife who presented the class asked me was, “Marion, when is your due date?” Soon after I realized why she asked – all the other ladies were about 34, 36 and even 38 weeks pregnant. There was one other couple who weren’t due within a couple of weeks and their due date was the 6th of November, and they were there second, so it seems that they are also eager beavers, but not as bad as me!

It was very informative, I learnt some things, but most I already knew because of the research I’ve done, but what was the nicest for me was the confirmation that we made the right decision regarding our birth plan. Giving birth in an active birthing unit compared to a hospital will be my dream experience. There are big rooms, it is totally private, I’ll be supported by my midwife and a second midwife and they will respect my wishes to the full for the birthing experience I want. My DH will be there with me all the time to support me, and he will be an active partner in the birthing experience, which is what we both want.

I can labour in or out of the water, and I can give birth in or out of the water, we were shown positions that will help the birthing process along and I will still have access to pain relief, and an operating theatre should there be complications. My back-up doctor will be informed when I go into labour and should be there within 20 minutes of them calling her should we need her. There is also always a paediatrician and anaesthetist available or on standby. I completely trust the midwives, the centre, and God of course, and I don’t believe there will be anything wrong, but it’s nice to know that there are processes in place for the emergencies.

What I love the most is that they encourage skin to skin contact with mom and baby immediately after birth, and they will only do the necessary checks on baby while he is lying on my chest. They will allow this for as long as I want, or until I need to deliver the placenta. After that I will be able to take a shower, clean up and get comfortable in bed. They say baby will want to breastfeed within an hour after birth and they encourage that too, and then usually the mom will go to sleep and then daddy is encouraged to get into bed next to mommy, without his shirt on and again skin to skin contact with baby, so that they can also bond. My DH loves that! I just know he will be such a wonderful daddy!

I’ve mentioned in my previous post that the dads are allowed to stay with the moms and babies for the first 24 hours in the room – he will also get meals as if he is a patient there and there is no nursery, so babies will be kept in the room with us all the time. My midwives are also lactation consultants and they will help me to breastfeed and even visit me at home a couple of times to help with the breastfeeding or any other advice I need.

This all seems almost too good to be true and I’m so looking forward to it. Doesn’t it sound like a dream scenario for giving birth? There was one couple who aren’t going to give birth at the place I’m going to and they seemed so upset that they already chose their caregivers at a different hospital. I’m sure they would love to change but I don’t know if it will be possible since they are due on 5 October… Well, I’m just glad I did my research well before choosing my caregivers and I am totally comfortable with my decision.

I read in a booklet this weekend that only 10% of pregnant ladies in SA research their options and that 67% end up with c-sections compared to the 19% who actually need it. My new friend who is only 3 weeks ahead is going through her gynae, and very upset because she wants to give birth vaginally, but her gynae has already said that she would not allow it and that she insists on doing a c-section. The date of the c-section has been booked already…

Now details about the scan: Our little boy once again was not shy and showed us that he is definitely a boy and no doubt about it! He weighed 753g (up from 341g a month ago), his measurements are still on track as it should be, and measuring 1 day ahead just like last time. So overall he is an average size baby. His foot measured 4.5cm and still seems so big! His hands also seemed big this time, and we can see that overall he is so much bigger! His heartbeat was 146bpm. She checked his spine, bladder, stomach, heart, brain and everything is exactly like it should be.

The sonographer said that there is still plenty room for him, since he was once again lying transverse and there is lots of unused space at the bottom of my uterus. At first his head was turned down and we could only see the back of his head, but after a lot of poking he turned and we were able to see his face, and then she switched to 4D, even though it was not our official 4D scan, so that was awesome and we got some pictures of our little boy’s face. (I posted one for you already at the page for pregnancy pictures. The umbilical cord is partly covering his face, but you can get a good idea of what he looks like…)

The best news was that my placenta has moved away from my cervix and that it is now 3.17 cm away from it, and not a problem anymore, and won’t interfere with my birth plan for a water birth. My cervix is also nice and long, so all is still well with baby and me.

After the scan we went to some antique shops and bought a cot – although it’s not a genuine antique, we are both happy with what we got for the price we got it. We need to buy a new mattress for it, since it doesn’t have one, but I was thinking of doing that anyway, because most of the old cot’s mattresses were looking very worn.

It’s getting really exciting now, I have so much to look forward to and the priority is to get the baby room ready for now… I still want to buy a chest of drawers, as the cupboard in the baby room is already full, and a rocking/gliding/feeding chair. We are keeping our eyes open where ever we go for something that we’ll like.

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21 Weeks pregnant:

I’ve passed the halfway mark!  I wonder if the second half of my pregnancy will also seem to fly by so quickly.  Not that I want it to fly by, I am very happy and content to savour every moment of pregnancy, as I love being pregnant!  I know some people who have said they did not like being pregnant much, but I can honestly say it’s everything I’ve imagined and even better than I could have thought!

Last Saturday we had our 20 week fetal assessment scan.  It was once again totally amazing and wonderful to see our little boy again, and it’s definitely a boy!  No doubt!  Even before the sonographer could say anything we all could see that he can only be a boy.  He was not shy at all and was lying with his legs open the whole time.  So I guess it’s a good thing we did not want to keep it a surprise, because it would have been spoiled!

Every single thing of baby that was measured or checked is perfect!  The only slight problems were my placenta which is a bit low (0.70 cm from cervix) and the fact that our baby is lying transverse, but at this stage neither is a problem yet.  Apparently the placenta will move up as my uterus stretches more, and since it’s not actually covering my cervix at the moment she thinks it will be far enough away by the time our little boy is born.

From the beginning of this week I’ve been having some muscle pains in my abdomen – it really feels like my muscles are starting to stretch now, and my baby bump is getting bigger by the day.  Fortunately it is mostly uncomfortable and not too painful.  My MIL went with for the scan and we saw her again on Monday and she said there was a noticeable change in just two days.

Well my bump is so much bigger that I’ve started to wear maternity tops.  Most of my normal tops are too tight around my boobs now and I can’t really close the buttons at the top anymore, and even though the tops are long they are riding up on my bump and that causes my bare skin to be exposed at the bottom – not a very flattering look, let me tell you!  I’m still wearing my own pants, but they are sometimes a bit tight at the button.  So I bought some of those belt expanders, but even the smallest size one is still too big for me.  Maybe I’ll be able to wear it in a week or two…

Our little boy is kicking harder now and I can feel him a lot more frequently!  It was amazing to see how much he moved around during the scan, yet I could not feel any of those movements, and that makes me wonder what he does when I do feel him.  DH has been able to feel him almost every day now and he loves to have his hand on my belly at night in front of the TV and when we lie in bed.
Those are some very special times between the three of us!

I don’t know if it’s been the moving and all the hard work involved with it, but I’m totally pooped again these days from just after lunchtime, so much so that it reminds me a lot of my first trimester where I took quite a lot of naps.   I didn’t really have time to take naps, but today I just collapsed into bed and slept for a couple of hours.  I’ll see if it gets better if I rest a bit, as I understand the tiredness is only supposed to come back in the third trimester, not now.

Things are still a bit disorganised at home, so much so that my computer was online for the first time today, and we still need to connect up the scanner, so I’ll see if I can post some scan pictures tomorrow.  I also think it’s high time for another belly picture, so I hope I’ll remember to ask DH to take a new one tomorrow morning.

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Fetal Assessment Scan:

Our scan yesterday was totally amazing!  DH and I both amazed, overwhelmed and totally in awe at what we saw.  It was so nice to see our little one moving, drinking amniotic fluid, stretching, but sleeping most of the time.

The first thing the doctor said was, “today it seems to be just boys.”  We didn’t realize immediately that she was saying that we are expecting a boy, because she had him on the screen for seconds.  I thought she meant the patients she saw before us, because our appointment was late in the afternoon.  But no, right after that she showed us the little penis sticking out behind the legs and we knew that she was talking about our baby.  We are having a perfect little boy!

The first nuchal fold measurement was 1.10mm, but she wanted to double check and measured it again and this time it was 0.90mm.  She told us that she always tells her patients that a reading of less than 1.00mm is impossible, yet she got one with us.  She mentioned that the nose bone is clearly visible and that is usually a good indication that a baby does not have Down’s syndrome.  The absence of such a bone is not an indication of Down’s syndrome, but the presence of one is a good sign.  In the end these readings together with my blood tests that I had done at 10 weeks reduces my risk from 1:74 on my age alone to 1:1489 which is equal to the risk of that of a 15 year old pregnant girl.  That is such good news to us!  The risks for trisomy 18 and 13 were even lower.

After this she proceeded to show us the little hands – he had his hands clasped together at first, but later we saw the hands separately with the 5 fingers, He also moved his one arm up and behind his head, then she showed us the brain, the bladder, the legs and little feet, and eventually we could see our little boy drinking amniotic fluid and then we could see his stomach too.

He was a real lazy little boy, sleeping for the first part and just gently moving around a bit, until she woke him up by poking my tummy a lot.  But it seemed he just rolled over and went back to sleep again. His crown to rump measurement was 60.2mm which falls in the 95 percentile and measured at 12w3d although I was only 11w6d yesterday.  He’s probably going to be a tall, like his mom…

This doctor also weighed me, since I had no idea what I weighed (I don’t own a scale and the last time I weighed myself last year was when I still went to the gym and then I weighed about 71kg.)  She said I weighed 73.8 kg’s, but I think I was a bit heavier just before I got pregnant than last year, and I had so much clothes and boots on, because it was a really cold day yesterday, so I guess I
must have picked up about 2kg’s maximum so far.  I’m sure most of that weight is in my boobs, as they are huge!  Some of my pants are actually fitting better than before I got pregnant, especially around my thighs, so I think I must have lost some weight or centimetres there.

My tummy is still small, other people can’t see a baby bump yet, but DH and I can see it’s popping out a bit just above my pubic bone.  DH took 2 pictures on his phone (9 weeks and 11 weeks) and he’s actually showed it to some people (I almost freaked out when I heard that!)  Those people insisted however that there is nothing to see, so that’s mainly the reason I haven’t posted one on this blog yet…

We are absolutely over the moon with joy that everything looked so good yesterday!  We are so grateful for our perfect little boy and we cannot stop praising God!  All the glory must go to God!  He has blessed us abundantly!

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9 Week Scan:

Our scan went well this morning.  Our little baby is measuring 9w2d or 24.8mm.  So it is still about 2 days ahead and that makes us very happy!  We got a bit of sad news too – there was another empty sac or vanishing twin as the FS called it.   I really would have loved to have twins…  The sister when she saw the empty sac said, “All natural!”, and the FS later confirmed that he thought our pregnancy is a real miracle from God.  That was nice to hear…

It was our last official appointment at our clinic, which was a bit sad – but the FS said I can still come back if I want to, but he reminded me that they don’t do births…   I think it will feel a bit weird to get to know a new doctor and their staff when we were so comfortable and well known at this clinic.  The sister even told me that I’m well known over the internet, just in case I didn’t know!   There are quite a few of Fertilicare ladies at the same clinic and I guess some of them must have mentioned or asked about me!  She also asked that I keep her updated at least via e-mail as she would love to know how my pregnancy progresses.  Everyone at the clinic is so happy for us – even though they didn’t get us pregnant this time, it just shows you that they are in it for more than just money – they all really love what they are doing…

For those who are wondering about my symptoms:  Lots of cramping, I’m very bloated and it seems the morning sickness is getting a bit worse.  I still haven’t vomited, but it’s been close a few times.  If I didn’t have such an issue with vomiting, I’m sure it would have come out.  My sense of smell is also really sensitive and bad smells make me feel ill.   The other day we were looking at a display and the salesman smelled like stale cigarette smoke.  I had to get away from him so fast!  Fortunately DH was talking to him; otherwise he would have thought I was rude…

I also get dizzy at times – I really felt bad yesterday when we had to queue to vote.  We went on purpose in the afternoon so that it would hopefully not be so busy, but we still queued for almost an hour.  I think it would have gone quicker if they didn’t keep putting the pensioners and people whose surnames started with the letter V in front of everybody else.  My FIL said I should have told them I’m pregnant, but why would they believe me.  I can’t prove it, and I certainly don’t look pregnant.  The staff there  certainly wasn’t bothered by the fact that I had to lean on stuff or even had to sit down at times…

It seems that my belly is starting to pop out a bit.  Not much – no one would be able to see it, but under my little spare tyre that I’ve accumulated over the years, it’s starting to get rounder.  At the start of my pregnancy it was flat there, maybe even bumping in a bit, but for the last few days DH and I have both noticed that it’s not flat anymore and that it’s bumping out now.  Even in the mornings before I’ve had my breakfast and before I can become bloated we can see it.   We must really take a belly picture soon, so far we forget every time because I want to take one first thing in the morning.  I don’t want to take one later in the day
because then you’ll only see the bloated tummy…

I’ll be posting the scan picture again under pregnancy pictures but this one is not so clear.  They used a different machine than last time and the FS even had to press down quite hard on my tummy to get a sort of decent picture.

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We have a heartbeat!

Our scan was great this morning!   According to my calculations I must be 6w6d today and our little Nunu measured at 7w2d or on average definitely 7 weeks, so it looks like it’s developing right on track.  DH says he thinks the measurement was 11.6mm.  I didn’t even see that!  They didn’t tell me what the heart rate was, but it all looked more than fine.  At least we could see it on the screen.

What actually happened was that the sisters couldn’t wait and they scanned me before the doctors came.  It was a nice and long scan and we even got 3 pictures!  They saw the heartbeat immediately and that was such a relief!  I didn’t see it so quickly though, but eventually I got to see it too!

Poor DH was so embarrassed!  The one sister said:  “It just shows you how important it is to have sex in a marriage!”  At that stage there were 4 women in the room and DH was the only male!  He was so uncomfortable!  But she tried to make a point about how so many couples have problems in their sex life after trying for so many years, that the natural miracle is almost impossible because they just don’t have intercourse often enough.

So I have to start looking for an OB/Gyn now…  I can still go for a scan at the clinic in 2 weeks time, but, I’m not sure what happens after that.  The sister told me last time already that they don’t do deliveries anymore, so I can’t stick with them, but I wasn’t expecting that, and I would also prefer to get a doctor closer to home…

I’ve posted a scan picture on a separate page called Pregnancy Pictures for those who want to see.

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An update on us:

I thought I’ll tell you all a bit more about what happened the last few days…

I had some spotting every now and then since about 7 weeks and it was really very little, a spot or 2 at the most per day and some days nothing.  I thought it was due to my cervix as mine bleeds very easily.  Some of you might remember that I had some bleeding with ET on my last IVF and I also bled with most of my IUI’s and I even bled from my last pap smear a year ago.  I just assumed it was due to the Cyclogest pessaries that I’m taking.  Friday morning the spotting was more, but still not much, but I phoned the sister at the clinic.  She assured me that spotting is very common during the early stages of pregnancy, but that I must phone again if it should get red.  She speculated that it could be from the empty sac we saw on our first scan.  She also advised that I take the pessaries rectally especially as I suspected that it could be my cervix.

Saturday morning the spotting was worse and I was a little more worried.  Saturday afternoon the spotting became redder and less brown.  Now I was really worried.  I phoned the sister again – she advised me to go to the emergency room as they would phone my FS from there and that we will be able to get a scan there.  We don’t live close to our FS at all so it took quite a while to get there.  When we got there I could not get a scan as the x-ray department closed at 13h00 and we got there at about 15h00.  They had to book me in so that I could see the emergency room doctor.  He asked me if I was an infertility patient and why I needed all the treatments.  I answered that I have suspected implantation problems.  He said:  “that’s probably why you are miscarrying…”  I almost freaked out right there!  That doctor checked me internally and said my cervix was at least closed, so maybe there is still hope.  He spoke to my FS over the phone and my FS advised that we come in again the next morning at 9h00 at his rooms for a scan, as I could not get one at the hospital.

Saturday night at about 20h00 I got up from the TV and went upstairs to get into bed.  I felt that my panties were suddenly wet.  I went to the loo to check and there was red blood!  Not too much, but enough to cover my panty liner.  I decided that it must wait until Sunday morning as I’m not going to the emergency room again as it was of no use at all!  Fortunately that was the last of it, and afterwards it was brown spotting again.

Sunday morning we were there at 8h30 already waiting for the doctor and sister to come.  We got to have our scan and I almost had a heart attack.  The doctor was so quiet and just kept checking the sac and the baby from different angles.  He tried to get the heartbeat on the screen and wasn’t able to do so.  I looked at hubby and he looked like he was going to faint from the stress.  Later I just looked at the doctor’s face to see if I could read his expressions, as I did not know what I was seeing on the scan.  Eventually after about 5 minutes he started to explain what he saw – he was not worried about the bleeding as it was from a little spot in my uterus totally unrelated to our baby and he said it would stop soon.  He did not want to give me any medicine to stop the bleeding as he wants it out of my uterus.  Then he moved on to the baby – he measured it and asked if I’m about 8 weeks pregnant.  DH and I both shouted out – “No, 9 weeks”.  So I don’t know exactly how big the baby measured, but it seems to still be a little behind…

The worst was when the doctor said that the heartbeat was too slow – he could see it on the screen, but battled to measure it.  He estimated that it was between 90-100bpm.  It should be more than 150bpm.  He did say that all is not lost, that sometimes the baby will revive, and it could be a temporary problem… He also said that I’m already on all medication that they normally give to patients with threatening miscarriages, so we must let nature take its course…  He thought that it could be due to low progesterone, so I had that tested and I got a precautionary progesterone injection.  We decided that I would get another Intralipid drip as some people need it up to week 20, and that it could not hurt to take it.

The doctor did tell us what to look for as signs of a miscarriage, and what to do especially if it should happen after hours  and to which hospital to go to – not something anyone would like to discuss…

When we got to the car I just broke down and started crying… Poor DH I think I upset him even more than he was already – he is really taking it extremely hard.   He is so looking forward to this baby – he is constantly touching my belly and kissing it. 

This morning we had to drive very far again to the only hospital that I could find that had any Intralipid drips in stock and the sister at my FS’s clinic gave it to me.  She told me the progesterone levels were fine and that I can continue on Cyclogest.  I must say I hope my FS’s appreciate those sisters working there because they are worth their weight in gold!  But the sister said to me that 10% of pregnancies end up in miscarriages and that the slow heartbeat is not a good sign…  I told her I’m not giving up on this baby yet!

When we got in the car I told DH that even though some people have tactfully tried to warn us that I might miscarry, that I just cannot be negative and accept it just like that.  I’m feeling hopeful that our baby can still be all right – as long as there is a heartbeat I will not give up hope!  I feel that God gave us such a huge miracle with our pregnancy that I just cannot believe that it will be taken away from us again…  I’m hoping for another miracle, with everything I have…

I told DH about something that happened yesterday while I tried to sleep – I was lying on my bed almost asleep and I suddenly saw in my mind’s eye myself lying on a single bed with an electric cable going out of me up to heaven, where it’s plugged in and giving me strength.  Immediately after that I saw myself still lying like that but with angels all around the bed facing outwards with swords held up high above their heads.  I thought it was strange as I usually don’t think along those lines – I believe in angels as they appear in the Bible and I believe everything in the Bible, but I usually don’t think of them.  I think a lot about God our Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, but not about angels.  So I was wondering where these images came from, but I decided not to worry about it as I suddenly felt calm and at peace.  That is the last I can remember before falling asleep – since then I’m still calm, at peace and hopeful… 

The spotting has basically stopped completely, so that’s some good news.  We will be going for another scan on Wednesday and we will see how the heartbeat looks by then.  In the mean time I’m going to be hopeful that our baby will be all right. 

Thank you all for your prayers and messages of support – both of us really appreciate it!

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Our 1st scan!

Our long awaited appointment arrived at last and we got to see one healthy heartbeat!  We are so happy!  I never thought the stress before your first scan would be just as bad as going for the pregnancy test!  Yesterday afternoon I started getting bad cramps and lower back pain and it was so bad I had to lie down a bit!  I had my poor husband all stressed up, because I said it feels similar to AF cramps.  Poor man – he was up at 1:40 am this morning and vomiting!  To make matters worse I had two tiny spots of brownish discharge, so we were a bundle of nerves when we arrived at the clinic this morning.

The doctor says that there was a 2^nd sack but it was empty, so it implanted but did not develop any further.  Surprisingly both DH and I are not really upset about it, as we are just so happy to see that one heartbeat.  Baby measured at 7.1mm and at 6w4d – it’s 2 days behind what I actually am, but I’m not going to worry about it!  I trust in God!  He will protect our precious baby!  The doctor did not measure the heartbeat but he says it’s strong and he estimates it was beating between 140 and 150 bpm.  The doctor is happy so we are also happy!

Here is a picture of the scan:

Thank you God for this wonderful miracle of life you have given us!

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